Bronzepen Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles We spoke for almost 2.5 hours last night, and the conversation went very well. She just expressed that she isn't used to a guy like me who is so open with his feelings and who is so affectionate. While this is a welcome change for her, she said that will take time to adjust to, which I totally understand. I agreed to be more aware of this and tone it down some until she is more comfortable with things. OK then pimp slap her around a little bit. Just kidding. She still wants to spend time together and understands that my interests are purely romantic. She said that she really enjoys our conversations and thinks I'm one of the sweetest guys she's ever met. We are both looking forward to spending more time together and just taking things one day at a time. She detailed a lot of the problems she has going on in her life, and they are pretty big. Among them include her recent divorce, a very sick mother (that she thinks may be showing suicidal tendencies), and serious financial difficulties. Any one of these alone would put a damper on wanting to be with someone new, so I should be happy that she still wants to see me. Carefull here. This can very easly become friend zones if she starts to see you as a shoulder to cry on rather then a boyfriend or lover. It's OK to talk about SOME personal issues but don't let it consume the conversation. It's too early in the relationship to start talking/giving advice on personal problems. Once the relationship is established and on solid ground then you can start to talk about personal issues but even then don't let it consume the relationship. Meaning, that is all you two talk about when you are together. And speaking of that, we added another date for next weekend. We now will be going to back to back concerts on Friday and Saturday night. This in addition to the big Kenny Chesney concert next month. So, there are definitely things on the schedule. I really feel this one is mine to win, and I'm going to run out my 'A-game" each and every time I see her. That's good. You have things lined up. Just don't smother her or get into somekind of routine with her. Keep some mystery, as well as, keeping busy. Don't make yourself out to be always available. I made a vow to myself many years ago that if I found someone who touched my heart like this, I would never let her get away. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen. Don't get psycho on me now. Remember it takes two to tango. She may have touched your heart but in return she may not have the same feelings for you. No matter how hard you try, you may not be able to change her feelings. So you may have to let this one go. Not trying to be pessimistic but more realistic. Hey, maybe you both will ride off into the sunset but then again maybe not. Don't try so hard. If it's meant to be it will happen. Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing. Play it by ear. keep us updated. Good luck IceIsles.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Carefull here. This can very easly become friend zones if she starts to see you as a shoulder to cry on rather then a boyfriend or lover. the question is moot BRONZEPEN. he is already in the dreaded friends zone.
Linlin Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Ya, sound happy. Take it one step at a time. That's all anyone can do.
Bronzepen Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale the question is moot BRONZEPEN. he is already in the dreaded friends zone. Maybe alphamale, maybe. The 2+ hours of phone conversations is not a good sign but some people are that way. So I won't throw it into the wind. In IceIsles own words, he tries too hard and in the end it bites him in the butt. Ice, just take it slow. Don't rush in. Your doing OK but don't become her counselor or confidant. It's too early for that.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale the question is moot BRONZEPEN. he is already in the dreaded friends zone. No I'm not, alpha. I told her that "just friends" is not acceptable and she was ok with that.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Maybe alphamale, maybe. The 2+ hours of phone conversations is not a good sign but some people are that way. So I won't throw it into the wind. In IceIsles own words, he tries too hard and in the end it bites him in the butt. Ice, just take it slow. Don't rush in. Your doing OK but don't become her counselor or confidant. It's too early for that. I won't become either, BUT I have "won" two past girlfriends through being supportive. I think people are too quick to say one is trapped in the "friends zone." I think as long as I continue to reinforce my romantic intent, I will be just fine. Then it will be up to her if she wants to pursue that kind of relationship with me or not.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles No I'm not, alpha. I told her that "just friends" is not acceptable and she was ok with that. talking on the phone for 2.5 hours with a female is BAD. See, ICE, women talk with their GIRLFRIENDs on the phone for 2.5 hrs. You are now a girlfriend of hers, or more succintly put, your' a male "girlfriend". Phone conversations with women you are starting to date should last no more than 5 to 10 minutes. Period. BRONZEPEN is pretty much on the money with this issue.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale talking on the phone for 2.5 hours with a female is BAD. See, ICE, women talk with their GIRLFRIENDs on the phone for 2.5 hrs. You are now a girlfriend of hers, or more succintly put, your' a male "girlfriend". Phone conversations with women you are starting to date should last no more than 5 to 10 minutes. Period. BRONZEPEN is pretty much on the money with this issue. Guess I'll have to prove you both wrong, then.
Bronzepen Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I won't become either, BUT I have "won" two past girlfriends through being supportive. I think people are too easy to say one is trapped in the "friends zone." I think as long as I continue to reinforce my romantic intent, I will be just fine. Then it will be up to her if she wants to pursue that kind of relationship with me or not. That's the thing. Don't give her a choice. Let her know what your there for, right from the begining. If you go back and forth between romantic and counselor then believe me, most women will choose the counselor. There is always exceptions but being supportive is the exception that proves the rule.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen That's the thing. Don't give her a choice. Let her know what your there for, right from the beginning. If you go back and forth between romantic and counselor then believe me, most women will choose the counselor. There is always exceptions but being supportive is the exception that proves the rule. Yeah, I'm not going to let her forget my intent. I won't smother her, but I will continue to remind her how much I enjoy spending time together and how I'd like things for us to move forward when the time is right. If she ever wants to keep me around as just a friend, you can bet I'll fly out the door so quick that it will snap off the hinges. These dates we have set will in fact be dates, even if I will be toning down my affection for awhile.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Alpha, I know that I probably should only call her for a few minutes for the sole purpose of asking about going out, but the thing is, I enjoy talking to her a lot. We connect really well and I would hate to cut back my conversations with her. Do you really think I should, though?
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I enjoy talking to her a lot. We connect really well and I would hate to cut back my conversations with her. Do you really think I should, though? You have two choices listed below: 1) talk with her a lot 2) f*** her a lot the two are mutually exclusive. you wanna talk with her a lot, that is fine. but i prefer option 2.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale You have two choices listed below: 1) talk with her a lot 2) f*** her a lot the two are mutually exclusive. you wanna talk with her a lot, that is fine. but i prefer option 2. I take offense to that. I am NOT looking to f*ck her. It looks like your sense of chivalry went by the wayside a LONG time ago.
blind_otter Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 I have long phone conversations with guys that I have placed in the friends zone. OF course historically I have also had sex with my friends, but friends they have remained!!!!
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I take offense to that. I am NOT looking to f*ck her. It looks like your sense of chivalry went by the wayside a LONG time ago. well there is your problem then, ICE. women are sexual creatures and love to be f***ed by the right guy. you don't wanna f*** her so she will have to look for another guy to do that to her. I realize your whole "nice guy" attitude includes supressing your sexuality but women don't want a de-sexed and neutered man.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well there is your problem then, ICE. women are sexual creatures and love to be f***ed by the right guy. you don't wanna f*** her so she will have to look for another guy to do that to her. I realize your whole "nice guy" attitude includes supressing your sexuality but women don't want a de-sexed and neutered man. You disgust me. Absolutely pitiful. Get off my thread.
Bronzepen Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I take offense to that. I am NOT looking to f*ck her. It looks like your sense of chivalry went by the wayside a LONG time ago. Don't take offense. While your not looking to JUST f*ck her it IS part of the whole dating equation. Alphamale's reply is blunt but the meaning is the same, whether you choose to use diffrent words or not. Learn to read between the lines. Alphamale is not known for his diplomacy. He just repeated what I said before. Do you want to be a counselor or a romantic lover?
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen Don't take offense. While your not looking to JUST f*ck her it IS part of the whole dating equation. Alphamale's reply is blunt but the meaning is the same, whether you choose to use diffrent words or not. Learn to read between the lines. Alphamale is not known for his diplomacy. He just repeated what I said before. Do you want to be a counselor or a romantic lover? I don't know if Alpha realizes that his bluntness often has the opposite effect of what he's going for. There is a reason why most folks on these boards are polite and considerate.
alphamale Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles You disgust me. Absolutely pitiful. Get off my thread. for the above comment you will be the 2nd LS poster that i am putting on my ignore list. i will never reply to another one of your post, ever. and i guarantee that!
midori Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 This thread has been edited to remove inappropriate posts. If you have problematic interaction with another member via private messaging, the only appropriate course of action is to report that to the moderation team, using the "Contact Us" link. Personal interaction between members that takes place off the discussion boards has no place in the discussion threads.
westernxer Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Alphamale is right, so just take it with a grain of salt. This is the way guys talk to one another. Unless you don't like being a guy, I suggest you grow a pair. Sounds like you're just looking for sympathy, so put a dress on while you're at it. I think the lack of hockey is making you soft.
Lonestar Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 Okay, midori, but after reading this thread, should you not take action as to the PM I received? Shouldn't other women on this site be aware of the situation? What if someone here actually decided to meet him IRL thinking he was a great guy b/c of their perceived sincerity of his posts about women, but when in reality, women on your site are being obscenely approached in private. Your removal of all MY posts leads me to believe that you condone this type of behavior and I'm a little confused as to why you would protect someone like this. I will keep all PMs private in the future as you requested, midori, but I do hope you let Iceisles know that his PM was completely inappropriate.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 A thorough review of my past posts will show that I am very genuine with my thoughts, opinions, and views. I believe my character is well-founded, and I do not have any ulterior motives. Sometimes people get offended by personal questions, and I do apologize for that. However, offering to get to know someone better (through whatever means) should not come under fire as long as it is done outside of public view. I realize that this was a sensitive issue for Lonestar; however, since it wasn't for others (including those who asked me the same thing), I can not selectively guess which person my interactions may or may not offend.
VeryDisturbed Posted March 11, 2005 Posted March 11, 2005 Well, to save my anonymity I have posted under a guest name. Iceisles did the same thing to me, Lonestar. I am equally repulsed. "Iceisles" you really need to take a step back and ask yourself if you are really this sweet, sincere guy. Odds are, you are anything but. Your inappropriate advances completely take away from any great character you claim to have or genuine responses you say you give. In fact, I am completely disgusted that you would write this long post about this girl you say you like so much, then send people pm's asking for phone sex. Do you not think that this completely takes away from the so-called sincerity you claim to have? I think there is a title for people like this. They are called wolves in sheep's clothing.
Lonestar Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 I think there is a title for people like this. They are called wolves in sheep's clothing. Ain't that the truth
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