Author iceisles Posted March 8, 2005 Author Posted March 8, 2005 It doesn't matter. Just got to keep moving forward.
blind_otter Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles It doesn't matter. Just got to keep moving forward. Great, all this intense detailed description and then nuthin. i got nuuuuthin.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 I expect a "let's be friends" e-mail sometime today. I have two options: A. Respond with, "I appreciate your honesty, but I'm not interested in a friendship at this time. I do wish you all the best." or B. Don't respond at all. I've learned that pleading my case and expressing how I feel is useless, for you can't make a heart want somebody. That's why that's not an option. If it were you, which one would you choose? Part me of wants to take the high road with option A, but the hurt side of me says that option B looks quite good. I appreciate your continued input and support on this thread, which should be nearing its close soon.
blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I expect a "let's be friends" e-mail sometime today. I have two options: A. Respond with, "I appreciate your honesty, but I'm not interested in a friendship at this time. I do wish you all the best." or B. Don't respond at all. I've learned that pleading my case and expressing how I feel is useless, for you can't make a heart want somebody. That's why that's not an option. If it were you, which one would you choose? Part me of wants to take the high road with option A, but the hurt side of me says that option B looks quite good. I appreciate your continued input and support on this thread, which should be nearing its close soon. A if there is a good reason she gives you the kiss off email. B if she doesn't let you know anything. Blah I hate dating.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter A if there is a good reason she gives you the kiss off email. B if she doesn't let you know anything. Blah I hate dating. I'm sure she will give me a good reason, most likely that she is dating someone else she likes better. Is what I wrote in option A sufficient, or should I throw in some crap about how I've enjoyed talking to her, blah blah, etc.?
blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles I'm sure she will give me a good reason, most likely that she is dating someone else she likes better. Is what I wrote in option A sufficient, or should I throw in some crap about how I've enjoyed talking to her, blah blah, etc.? Nah, A is sufficient. No need to throw in extra info she doesn't need.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Nah, A is sufficient. No need to throw in extra info she doesn't need. Yeah, that's true. She will know I'm disappointed either way. I guess less is more sometimes.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Well, it wasn't quite a "let's be friends" e-mail, and she's definitely not seeing anyone else. But she did say that she's not ready for anything serious just yet, at least not at the level I'm looking at. However, she still wants to spend time together, which baffled me. I've been given this excuse many times before and have never seen the girl again. I think she does like me, but has legitimate concerns about things moving too fast following her divorce. I told her that I'm okay being friends for now with the understanding that she will keep the possibility of us dating open. I said that a friendship is not really what I'm looking for, and she seemed to be okay with that. She'll be calling tonight to talk about this. I'm going to stand my ground and say that being friends is fine, but only for the short-term. In the long-term, I want to be with her, and if she doesn't feel the same way, we probably shouldn't talk or spend any more time together. If she isn't sure how she feels about me right now, I will tell her that she can call me when she knows and I'll institute immediate NC to send a message that I will not be left in romantic limbo.
Bronzepen Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Well, it wasn't quite a "let's be friends" e-mail, and she's definitely not seeing anyone else. But she did say that she's not ready for anything serious just yet, at least not at the level I'm looking at. However, she still wants to spend time together, which baffled me. I've been given this excuse many times before and have never seen the girl again. I think she does like me, but has legitimate concerns about things moving too fast following her divorce. I told her that I'm okay being friends for now with the understanding that she will keep the possibility of us dating open. I said that a friendship is not really what I'm looking for, and she seemed to be okay with that. She'll be calling tonight to talk about this. I'm going to stand my ground and say that being friends is fine, but only for the short term. In the long-term, and I want to be with her, and if she doesn't feel the same way, we probably shouldn't talk or spend any more time together. If she isn't sure how she feels about me right now, I will tell her that she can call me when she knows and I'll institute immediate NC to send a message that I will not be left in romantic limbo. It's not bafflling. She wants to date you but not be commited to you. She doesn't want a friend nor a boyfriend. She just wants a lover. No strings attached. Now it's up to you if you want the same thing. Just make sure, tonight, your both on the same page. Good luck.
Linlin Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I agree, make sure you are on the same page. You don't sound like the casual sex kind of guy to me. Lay things on the table with her so there are no misunderstandings.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Thanks, Bronze. With another girl coming on strong for me, I really have to get off the phone tonight knowing were I stand. I will risk losing the other girl for a chance to be with someone I see a lot of potential in. I don't think she wants a "lover" because she wants things to move slowly. I think I am dating material but she wants to proceed cautiously. I am fine with that, because the best things in life are worth waiting for.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin You don't sound like the casual sex kind of guy to me. I'm not (I was a virgin until 23) and she's definitely not either. Her wanting to still see me has nothing to do with sex.
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles Her wanting to still see me has nothing to do with sex. hmmm....that is quite unfortunate ICE. Sex should be one of the big reasons women want to see a dude.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale hmmm....that is quite unfortunate ICE. Sex should be one of the big reasons women want to see a dude. Not women who put romance before pleasures of the flesh. This is a good, well-raised southern girl - not someone who puts an emphasis on sex.
Linlin Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 OK, now I am taking offence. Just because you enjoy sex between two consenting adults, doesn't make you a slut!!!
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin OK, now I am taking offence. Just because you enjoy sex between two consenting adults, doesn't make you a slut!!! yeah ICE! what is wrong with a woman who likes and enjoys sex as much as a man. Don't let your "nice guy" tendencies get the better of you.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale yeah ICE! what is wrong with a woman who likes and enjoys sex as much as a man. Don't let your "nice guy" tendencies get the better of you. There's nothing wrong with it, but there is a fine line between enjoying sex and being a slut. Much like there is a fine line between enjoying alcohol and being an alcoholic.
alphamale Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by iceisles There's nothing wrong with it, but there is a fine line between enjoying sex and being a slut. ahhh...but you forget one little detail, ICEISLES. Most men's definition of a "slut" is a woman who is having sex with men besides themselves. Chew on that for a while.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Well, the point is, however atypical, she's not sticking around for sex. And she has plenty of friends, so if it's not romantic, why does she need me?
whichwayisup Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I am fine with that, because the best things in life are worth waiting for. Yup, I always say, Never rush a good thing.
Linlin Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 Ice, Only she can answer that for you. That is a conversation for the two of you. Careful not to judge people or make comments until you walk a mile in their shoes!! Talk to me when you are 37!! I am still offended with the slut comment. Just a thought, is it better if someone is a c**k tease? Not saying that your friend is though. So don't just all over me for that.
Author iceisles Posted March 9, 2005 Author Posted March 9, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Ice, Only she can answer that for you. That is a conversation for the two of you. Careful not to judge people or make comments until you walk a mile in their shoes!! Talk to me when you are 37!! I am still offended with the slut comment. Just a thought, is it better if someone is a c**k tease? Not saying that your friend is though. So don't just all over me for that. My apologies for offending you. Sometimes it is the result of my brashness.
Linlin Posted March 9, 2005 Posted March 9, 2005 I am just giving you a hard time hon. You deserve to meet a nice, girl and get married and all the stuff that goes with it. You and I are just at different stages of life. Life throws you curveballs and priorities change. Sometimes what you want in need in your 20's is a whole lot different in your 30's and 40's.
Author iceisles Posted March 10, 2005 Author Posted March 10, 2005 We spoke for almost 2.5 hours last night, and the conversation went very well. She just expressed that she isn't used to a guy like me who is so open with his feelings and who is so affectionate. While this is a welcome change for her, she said that will take time to adjust to, which I totally understand. I agreed to be more aware of this and tone it down some until she is more comfortable with things. She still wants to spend time together and understands that my interests are purely romantic. She said that she really enjoys our conversations and thinks I'm one of the sweetest guys she's ever met. We are both looking forward to spending more time together and just taking things one day at a time. She detailed a lot of the problems she has going on in her life, and they are pretty big. Among them include her recent divorce, a very sick mother (that she thinks may be showing suicidal tendencies), and serious financial difficulties. Any one of these alone would put a damper on wanting to be with someone new, so I should be happy that she still wants to see me. And speaking of that, we added another date for next weekend. We now will be going to back to back concerts on Friday and Saturday night. This in addition to the big Kenny Chesney concert next month. So, there are definitely things on the schedule. I really feel this one is mine to win, and I'm going to run out my 'A-game" each and every time I see her. I made a vow to myself many years ago that if I found someone who touched my heart like this, I would never let her get away. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen.
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