InchoatePoet Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Ok, I need some advice here guys. I had a very interesting first date with a girl. Before I get into what happened, I'll start off by saying I've been talking to this girl for about 6 months now and, due to our schedules, we never never able to put a date together until recently (the date was HER suggestion). There is an obvious sexual attraction between us and I was told by numerous of her friends that she likes me. We've hung out many times casually with friends before, all of which went very well, but never a formal 1 on 1 date. Now to the date, we went out and by all accounts the date was going very well, lots of physical contact, dancing, laughing, etc.. that is until the last 45 minutes. Some heavy drinking got involved and she turned into a massive b***h. She started to ignore me, flirt with other guys, etc... Basically, the night ended with me telling her to f**k off and remove my number from her phone. I'm not worried about it because I talked to her friend the next day and apparently she LOVES this sort of thing. She likes a*****e guys and drama. According to her friend, her complaint was that I wasn't aggressive enough and she thought I wasn't interested. I'm your typical nice guy and after talking to some of my guy friends I know what I did wrong. I know what to do on the second date. So my question here is HOW should I go about getting another shot? I have a lot of time invested with this girl and I feel like I should give it another shot before writing her off totally. I'm going to be out of the area for four weeks so I figured I wouldn't talk or text her for that four weeks and if she happens to text me, I'm just going to ignore it. When I get back I figure I would text her with something like "I'm passing through the area, I'm going to give you a chance to make up for being such a b***h to me last time" I need to know what the "a*****e" guy says to her in this situation. Like I said, there is obvious attraction here, I can close on this if I get another shot now that I know what she is looking for.
guest569 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Wow, really? You want a second date with her? 6
Author InchoatePoet Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 Wow, really? You want a second date with her? That is what my friends said, they think I am stupid but I feel like I'd be doing myself a disservice if I didn't try once after I get back. I figure it is worth one text message, if she doesn't reply, no big deal, I move on from there.
Author InchoatePoet Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 I'm doing this for my own self-confidence, I want to see if I can pull off being the "a**hole" guy. If I can turn this around, it will do a lot for my ego.
PegNosePete Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I would not go within a mile of her. You sound totally mis-matched. It won't do your self-confidence any good to be acting the whole time, and it won't do your next partner any good when you put your learned skills into action and lose the nice girl. Better to find someone you can be yourself with. 2
irc333 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 LOL I get a kick out of women, funny how they still spin back to YOU the one who didn't achieve success with her. The "Oh you weren't aggressive enough" is a cop out, don't buy into it. 1
Woggle Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I can't see why you would want a second date with her. Date an adult woman and not an overgrown little girl. 2
BeholdtheMan Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Boy are you clueless... I'm having a hard time containing my laughter. Don't be the typical nice guy. The typical nice guy returns to a woman who's disrespected him massively...in the futile hope that she'll give him sex. Don't be like that please. Do yourself a favour and cut contact with this b*tch. When a woman is genuinely attracted to you (not just using you as an ego boost), she'll make things reaaalllllyy easy for you. This girl has the hots for drama, she doesn't have the hots for you 4
Author InchoatePoet Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 You guys are right. Everyone, including her own friend, told me to cut ties with her. I don't know why I keep beating myself up over this. I guess I just feel some regret for not making a hardER move. I thought for sure the deal was sealed then she did a complete 180 once she got drunk. All my friends keep telling me I didn't do anything wrong, she is just a massive c**t. Honestly, maybe I'm over-analyzing but I can't help it, this is the third time in a month I was told the same thing by a date.
Wisecrack Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 We've all had our stuff ups and struggles. The biggest thing is to reflect and learn from your mistakes so you don't make them again.
purplesoccer34 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Lol do you really want to be someone other than yourself? She might like guys that are jerks, but you aren't one of them...you're a nice guy. Do you think it's worth completely changing your personality for a girl? Especially when you have to disclose it sooner or later, assuming you get into a serious relationship with her? Because I can tell you that many, many girls love nice guys, if not this girl. But if you insist on being a guy filled with drama, then you can certainly do what you suggested. I would assume a girl like her would love that.
PogoStick Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 (edited) The best way would be to sleep with her friend. Hopefully that one turns out to be awesome and you can happily continue sleeping with her. Also, girls really don't like aholes, for the most part. That's a misunderstanding of the nice guy/jerk phenomenon. Edited September 4, 2014 by PogoStick
Versacehottie Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I'm doing this for my own self-confidence, I want to see if I can pull off being the "a**hole" guy. If I can turn this around, it will do a lot for my ego. Will it hurt your ego, if she says no or doesn't reply? I guess i'm asking because if she is a lost cause why let her determine/be a part of how you determine your value and self-worth. Clean the slate and do that with a new person who is a worthwhile investment. btw, if it won't hurt your ego i say go for it.
Supernatural Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 The best way would be to sleep with her friend. Hopefully that one turns out to be awesome and you can happily continue sleeping with her. Also, girls really don't like aholes, for the most part. That's a misunderstanding of the nice guy/jerk phenomenon. I don't know about this...
Supernatural Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 (edited) Ok, I need some advice here guys. I had a very interesting first date with a girl. Before I get into what happened, I'll start off by saying I've been talking to this girl for about 6 months now and, due to our schedules, we never never able to put a date together until recently (the date was HER suggestion). There is an obvious sexual attraction between us and I was told by numerous of her friends that she likes me. We've hung out many times casually with friends before, all of which went very well, but never a formal 1 on 1 date. Now to the date, we went out and by all accounts the date was going very well, lots of physical contact, dancing, laughing, etc.. that is until the last 45 minutes. Some heavy drinking got involved and she turned into a massive b***h. She started to ignore me, flirt with other guys, etc... Basically, the night ended with me telling her to f**k off and remove my number from her phone. I'm not worried about it because I talked to her friend the next day and apparently she LOVES this sort of thing. She likes a*****e guys and drama. According to her friend, her complaint was that I wasn't aggressive enough and she thought I wasn't interested. I'm your typical nice guy and after talking to some of my guy friends I know what I did wrong. I know what to do on the second date. So my question here is HOW should I go about getting another shot? I have a lot of time invested with this girl and I feel like I should give it another shot before writing her off totally. I'm going to be out of the area for four weeks so I figured I wouldn't talk or text her for that four weeks and if she happens to text me, I'm just going to ignore it. When I get back I figure I would text her with something like "I'm passing through the area, I'm going to give you a chance to make up for being such a b***h to me last time" I need to know what the "a*****e" guy says to her in this situation. Like I said, there is obvious attraction here, I can close on this if I get another shot now that I know what she is looking for. It's funny everyone made this girl the bad one, and didn't diagnose OP's actions. I don't think women just flip a switch and turn into b*tches. There has to be a reason... But...You're right. You are a typical nice guy. You know 'nice guys' are usually assh*les right? I mean, you invest months in this, and you expect something in return for your hard work, right? It sounds like you just want to shag her, and then ditch her for being rude to you, or whatever. A great guy would never have said 'fvvk off' or ever say "I'm passing through the area, I'm going to give you a chance to make up for being such a b***h to me last time" -- That's just so lame. Maybe you two are made for each other? Because it seems you like it as much as she does... Both children. Edited September 4, 2014 by Supernatural 3
mightycpa Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 You know what happened? You totally missed the **** ME signal. It happened, and you dropped the ball, so being the drama queen she is, sucked down some liquid courage and showed you what you were missing. The good news? Now you know her a little better. What you do next pretty much depends on what kind of guy you are, and what kind of girls you like.
Author InchoatePoet Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 It sounds like you just want to shag her, and then ditch her for being rude to you That is exactly the case now. When I say I didn't do anything wrong, I really didn't. She got drunk quickly and started being mean to me, not sure what you are looking for here, I wish I could understand what happened. Her actions frustrated me so much I did tell her to f**k off...that is something I have never said to a woman before...ever.
90s kid Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Ok, I need some advice here guys. I had a very interesting first date with a girl. Before I get into what happened, I'll start off by saying I've been talking to this girl for about 6 months now and, due to our schedules, we never never able to put a date together until recently (the date was HER suggestion). There is an obvious sexual attraction between us and I was told by numerous of her friends that she likes me. We've hung out many times casually with friends before, all of which went very well, but never a formal 1 on 1 date. Now to the date, we went out and by all accounts the date was going very well, lots of physical contact, dancing, laughing, etc.. that is until the last 45 minutes. Some heavy drinking got involved and she turned into a massive b***h. She started to ignore me, flirt with other guys, etc... Basically, the night ended with me telling her to f**k off and remove my number from her phone. I'm not worried about it because I talked to her friend the next day and apparently she LOVES this sort of thing. She likes a*****e guys and drama. According to her friend, her complaint was that I wasn't aggressive enough and she thought I wasn't interested. I'm your typical nice guy and after talking to some of my guy friends I know what I did wrong. I know what to do on the second date. So my question here is HOW should I go about getting another shot? I have a lot of time invested with this girl and I feel like I should give it another shot before writing her off totally. I'm going to be out of the area for four weeks so I figured I wouldn't talk or text her for that four weeks and if she happens to text me, I'm just going to ignore it. When I get back I figure I would text her with something like "I'm passing through the area, I'm going to give you a chance to make up for being such a b***h to me last time" I need to know what the "a*****e" guy says to her in this situation. Like I said, there is obvious attraction here, I can close on this if I get another shot now that I know what she is looking for. Let me get this straight. You're a self-proclaimed nice guy. Yet, you're calling this woman a "b*tch" and a "c*nt" because she rejected you. Now, you want to figure out a way to pull her, even though you know she's a terrible person, because you can't stand the fact that she dissed you and you need an ego boost. You really think you're a nice guy?? You sound even worse than her. A word of advice: When women say that they want a man that it more aggressive, what we really mean is that we want a man that is MASCULINE, i.e. confident, strong, decisive, self-assured, etc.... This does not mean that we want a jerk! I repeat, this does not mean that we want a jerk! If you want to attract quality women, work on exhibiting the masculine qualities that woman desire while still maintaining integrity, respect and good heartedness. That's what makes a truly good man. 2
guest569 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Been an ahole, is not cool and not something that will boost your self confidence, if you really are a nice guy like you say. It sounds like your confidence is taking a hit from the way she treated you, understandably! And you are feeling rejected and want to avoid feeling like that by going out with her again, or getting "revenge" by sleeping with her and dumping her. Which i doubt is going to happen judging from the first date. Just forget about her and never contact her again. I think your self confidence will thank you in the long run.
Author InchoatePoet Posted September 4, 2014 Author Posted September 4, 2014 Let me get this straight. You're a self-proclaimed nice guy. Yet, you're calling this woman a "b*tch" and a "c*nt" because she rejected you. Now, you want to figure out a way to pull her, even though you know she's a terrible person, because you can't stand the fact that she dissed you and you need an ego boost. You really think you're a nice guy?? You sound even worse than her. I am a nice guy. And, yes, she is a terrible person. If she didn't like me, there are other (BETTER) ways to handle the situation rather than ignoring me and clinging on to the first guy she sees. I didn't call her a c**t or a b***h. That was an example text to her. I've been the nice guy long enough, I constantly get rolled on by women and I'm tired of it. I am a very good-looking man, I get my balls busted on a near daily basis by my friends, they say I should be able to get any girl I want etc... I'm going to try something different and see what happens, I have nothing to lose at this point. Yes, I do need an ego boost, so pass judgement as you wish. A word of advice: When women say that they want a man that it more aggressive, what we really mean is that we want a man that is MASCULINE, i.e. confident, strong, decisive, self-assured, etc.... This does not mean that we want a jerk! I repeat, this does not mean that we want a jerk! If you want to attract quality women, work on exhibiting the masculine qualities that woman desire while still maintaining integrity, respect and good heartedness. That's what makes a truly good man. Thanks for the advice. It was a tricky situation. We were at a club, dancing and having a good time. She was all over me, I was all over her...I should have just gone in and kissed her. Honestly though, making out in a club seems so....college... I don't really like to do that anymore. I figured the fact that we were excessively grabbing/touching each other was more than enough, I would kiss her back at my place or her place. I would imagine most women wouldn't ditch a date because you didn't kiss them immediately....I think it makes the kiss BETTER if you hold off for a bit. Builds the intensity...
Gaeta Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I met this man once, it was love at first sight! He was so handsome, masculine, strong, a bit reserved, to me he was the definition itself of a 'real male'. He was confident in bed and to this day he is my best lover. I asked him out of curiosity why it didn't work with the last woman he met. He replied she told him after a couple of dates he was not aggressive enough. I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. He was plenty aggressive. He was just a nice guy and she was into jerks. Let that girl go, she's a waste of your time.
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