Brink007 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I dated a girl for 3 months and things went very very well but we didn't rush into anything. She told me in the beginning she has trouble getting attached to guys but I could tell she really enjoyed being with me, yet I didn't push it. 3 months in I could tell I wanted it more than her. I wanted things to become serious and, although she said she liked me more than any guy she's ever been with, she couldn't pull the trigger. She said "something in her mind is missing that enables her to feel." Her mom jokes that she needs counseling since our 3 months was the longest relationship she's ever been in and she's 24. I told her we should just take a week off and that I would call her to see what we both learned about what we want. I decided just to not call her and let it be. I figured making her think I completely moved on and have her wonder why I didn't call might be the only way to get her back. Fast forward a month with no contact. I decided to go out with some good friends to a bar we always seem to end up at. I've literally never seen this girl there and she knows I always go there. As soon as I walked in I saw her sitting down with a couple girl friends. I decided it would be weird not to say something so we started talking and I pretended like I was 100% over her. She kinda brought up how we definitely had "something" and that she was waiting around for me to call her that day when I didn't. I proceeded to just treat her like an old friend and then invited her and her friend back to my place with my friend for an "after party." (I was a little drunk) It was as if we never stopped talking for a month. We picked it right back up from where we left off and had a blast together. We are literally the same person. We even messed around in bed after I assured her it wasn't going to mean anything. The problem is it did mean something to me. And I think it meant something to her too... She hinted towards hanging out again sometime but as long as it is casual. There are a few things throwing me through a loop. She KNOWS I go to that bar every weekend. Why would she go there 3 weeks after not hearing from me if she didn't want to see me? She also "accidentally" pocket dialed me a week after we started the break which is hard to do unless it's the last person you've talked to... I'm thinking me breaking contact entirely is having an effect on her. She's probably not used to it at all. I'm still pretty crazy about her since we have everything in common and she's really hot but I'm not sure what to do. It's been 4 days since I saw her last and I haven't texted her. Should I give it a week and text her to hang out? Have any of you been in this situation/ seen it happen to friends? Is a girl like this worth still trying for? My gut instinct is telling me there's still definitely a chance but I don't want to get my hopes up. She's perfect for me. Thanks so much for any advice!
ThorntonMelon Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't tell you she didn't. Not really sure there's anything you can do to get her back. But stop reading into things that mean nothing, it will make you crazy.
Author Brink007 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't tell you she didn't. Not really sure there's anything you can do to get her back. But stop reading into things that mean nothing, it will make you crazy. I realize this but the little games she's playing kind of say otherwise. Why call me then claim it was a pocket dial? Why show up to a place knowing I'll be there? Why not completely avoid me at all costs?
Assasda Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Since you are "literally the same person." why would you have any problem dating yourself. The girl sounds like a smart girl
Author Brink007 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Since you are "literally the same person." why would you have any problem dating yourself. The girl sounds like a smart girl I know she sounds dumb but she's just very naive when it comes to relationships. Edited September 3, 2014 by Brink007
mightycpa Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Hmmm... so you have this girl who basically doesn't get attached, at least not yet. She warns you about this up front. Her mother confirms the claim. Her longest relationship is 3 months, which means she's banged a lot of guys, but she hasn't met that one that swept her off her feet. And you think you're THE ONE. Maybe you are, maybe you're not. I dated a girl like that. I started as #3 in a rotation of 3, and it took me 6 months to become first banana. During that entire time, I saw other girls, and let her know it. As time went on, the other guys mostly faded, and the other girls I saw faded too. We ended up going out for 3 years, and by the end of that time, she was totally in love with me. And you know what? She was one of the most loving people I ever met, once I got past the gate. I would counsel two things: Patience, and don't put all your eggs in one basket. It worked for me. Then again, I liked her ok at the beginning, I didn't have an immediate emotional need like you describe. She attracted my attention because she f*cked like a porn star, not because I thought she was special in any other way. I think maybe my lack of neediness helped the cause. Anyway, patience and other girls. It can't hurt!
jay1983 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 No, don't make her want you when she doesn't. If by a long shot you put enough effort and pulled it off, the novelty will wear off and you'll be right back where you are now.
morbot_k Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Move on, it didn't work for a reason. If something is there she will come to realize it over time and you moving on. But you broke up for a reason. Probably a good one.
Author Brink007 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Thanks for the responses. I really appreciate them. I realize I sound way immature as well trying to deal with a girl like this. I can't explain it but they say when you find the one you just "know." As crazy as she's been, that "just know" feeling is so overpowering it consumes me.. I've dated plenty of girls and it's black and white compared to all of them. As far as she's concerned now though, I've completely moved past her. Edited September 3, 2014 by Brink007
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