Girlfriend's past ex/fling keeps trying to contact her. How to proceed, if at all?

[sigurpol]

Long story short. I've been exclusive with someone for about two months now. Everything is fine, we get along, understand one another, etc. Very easy going relationship.

 

However, last month, she explained to me there was a guy she met earlier in the year who she got along with, had a fling but he wouldn't commit and he moved, leaving her behind. Apparently he has regretted his choice and is trying to contact her but she is avoiding him. She's shown me texts that he sends her and after some of his own detective work, found out her and I are together. She tells me these things and I laugh, as I do not take it as a threat nor am I insecure about any of it. We make jokes about it to lighten the mood because it does upset her to some degree.

 

While on the phone today, I was telling her about my first day with a new job I started when she said, "Oh god" on the other end. I asked what was going on.

 

"He's at my house. His car is parked outside. He's standing there... I'll call you back" and hung up.

 

Part of me was worried since I don't know much about this guy, other than he's dramatic. But showing up like that seemed odd to me. Especially since he lives hours away.

 

She called me back, clearly in a bad mood and was going off about how she was having a great day and this ruined everything. I asked her what he wanted and he stopped by to give her gifts. Tickets to shows, other presents, and things from "their past"-- she asked me what to do with them and I said whatever she wanted to do with them was fine. I suggested to either keep them or trash them since trying to give anything back would mean having to contact him again. He was basically there to try to salvage anything. She told him she wants nothing to do with him.

 

Then she told me he asked about me, if I "treated her well"-- she said that I treat her very well and she's happy. He added that "well if he ever doesn't, you tell me and I'll beat his ass"

 

Okay, so now I'm irritated. I don't care about guys trying to move in or talk to a girl I'm seeing and I'm pretty apathetic overall, but I don't like threats. Especially from people who I do not know.

 

I laughed on the other line and didn't feed into it, just asked if she was okay or if she needed anything.

 

I told myself that I refuse to get in the way of this buffoon, but this kinda ticked me off. How would you react? Stay quiet?

[Maleficent]

Well, it looks like your girlfriend is annoyed by that guy so you can go ahead and stop worrying about that part of the equation.

 

However, if he randomly shows up uninvited and unwelcome, this can be worrysome. This looks borderline stalkerish to me...

[Smarty Pants]

Yep, keep playing it cool. You have nothing to be worried about.

[TayTay415]

Oh, c'mon. "If he doesn't treat you well, I'll beat his ass," spoken to her, outside of your presence, isn't a threat. It was another attempt to win her back, to show his manliness, his desire to treat her well himself.

 

As for what to do? Nothing. She's handling it well, as far as I can tell.

[sigurpol]

Yep, keep playing it cool. You have nothing to be worried about.

 

You're right, I'm already calmer about it. Just the initial "threat" caught me off guard and bothered me.

[Smarty Pants]

All good brother. Fight or flight instinct. Keeping doing what you are doing and you'll be fine.

[Assasda]

You've been handling it well so far.

Very well.

Your girl sees that youre secure, and youre not bother by the insignificant hot-head.

 

but there is another thing in play now, if your girlfriend doesnt feel safe, tell her to let you know

He's ruining her mood, and now PHYSICALLY upsetting her. So you may need to let this guy know that she doesnt want him around.

 

- You dont have to let your GF know either