hotchocolate111 Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 No one answered my last extremely long post so I'll make this one as short as I can (if you need more info just ask) My ex bf broke up with me 4 1/2 months Relationship = roller coaster but very serious & loved each other very much and I know he still cares Nasty break up = him sending mixed signals, me crying & begging, him being quite rude = month after breakup Last time we saw each other told me he did not want to be friends because it hurt him too much to see me and not be more than friends, but he also said that we could possibly get back together in the future if he can handle a gf & we are both mature We go to the same university. Went home for summer. NO CONTACT whatsoever for 3 1/2 months. I was hurting but okay over summer. Came back to school a week ago, haven't seen him (have not crossed paths), and he has not tried to contact me. Problem = experiencing severe anxiety about bumping into him which is manifesting itself into social awkwardness and an overall poor quality of functioning. Severe depression- stay in my room all day, cry. Tried to stay positive but its really getting to me. This is not the heartache I felt when we first broke up, but rather I feel I've changed in the worst way possible and I'm really scared I'm going to be screwed up forever. Should I contact him with a text? Comment on how I haven't seen him on campus (insert joke) and if he responds positively then ask if things are cool between us. He was my best friend and I miss his company very much and I feel I think right now we're pretty much avoiding each other and its just making me feel awful & i can't focus on anything else. I've definitely made a lot of efforts to move on but this is weighing on me so is it the right thing to do to contact him or does he have to be the one to contact me since he broke up with me & everything that went down afterward?
Zahara Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Do not contact him. It's a break-up. Treat it as such. He cannot comfort you when he is your pain. It is in fact a good thing that you are not bumping into each other, even it it means avoiding each other. You're trying to find excuses to relieve your discomfort. Unfortunately, after a break-up, it's only natural that you feel this way but it is by no means justification to reach out to the one that hurts you. And he isn't your best friend. He is an ex that causes you pain.
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