adrian77 Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 (edited) My husband isn't into me at all. I've tried everything. Talking to him, suggesting counciling, spicing things up, and he hasn't initiated sex in 5 of the 6 years we've been together. I pretty much have to beg and play with it for a long time just for him to give in at the most once a week but usually once a month. A lot of time he goes soft in the middle of it. He also has no interest in getting me off. He hasn't ever gone down on me and refuses to talk about it. He doesn't want oral on him or massages or anything. He is always home so I don't think he is cheating. Just says he doesn't have a sex drive. I made the mistake out if boredom of taking to a younger guy I used to know who started texting me. He is married but must be bored also and used my vulnerability to lure me in. He came over one day and we made out. Pure virginal, although he tried more and I stopped it. I still can't get it out of my head. We continued to talk but it got less and less and now he lost interest also. What is wrong with me? My husband has no interest and after making out with the other guy he loses interest. I struggle with 30 extra lbs but I have friends who aren't attractive in the face with bad teeth and struggle with more weight yet they juggle men all the time. Always wanting more from them. I feel like a total ugly, loser, total piece of crap. Edited September 2, 2014 by adrian77
DontStop Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 (edited) Stop beating yourself up. Your husband is the one with the issue. So is the twerp that lead you on and then bailed. He should know how sensitive woman are and let you down nicely if he wanted to end things. They are both selfish jerks. An extra 30 pounds isn't a big deal, a lot of men prefer that. Stop looking at Cosmo and Vogue and love yourself for who you are. These men don't deserve you and are fools for not getting to know you the way you want them too. Tell your husband to get with the program or you might have to do something drastic. If he doesn't come around and realize what an amazing, sexual woman you are, then maybe you do need to do something drastic. You should be loved, adored and your body worshiped like when he first met you. DS Edited September 2, 2014 by DontStop
jackslife Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 The issue is with your husband and not you. Its rare for men to have no interest in sex or desire. IMHO there are two likely reasons, neither of them good... 1. He could be gay. Even in these enlightened times a lot of men marry either as a cover, or in the hope that they may be 'cured'. 2. Most likely but still unpalatable, he doesn't love you or he "does love you but he is not in love with you". There are some interesting articles on line if you google it. Sexless marriage rears it's head almost every day on Loveshack. Sex is the physical incarnation to your love for each other. As well as being bloody great. A lot of marriages survive without it, but only with a great deal of misery for one of the spouses. I don't know your whole story but I think this should be a deal breaker for you. This is not going to get better, it will not change. Unless you decided for a string of emotional and/or physical affairs, you are never, ever going to get the sex and love you want from this marriage. My 2 cents - start planning for divorce. Sorry to be so bleak, but it is what it is...
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