blue_jay_bird Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Okay, I feel like I'm struggling a bit. How do you get one of these types of men to open up. I'll be spending the night in bed with him. Bombarding him with questions about himself. And in the end I feel like a idiot. I get short responses. And what would bother me the most is a lack of back channelling. I get nothing of "So, what about you..?" I could be a piece of toast for all I know. I don't know what to do. How do I talk about how I feel? Cause I don't want to shut him down and make him feel bad? I really just want to say. Sometimes, I feel like your not interested or that you care about me because you don't keep the conversation going or really ask anything about me? I don't think I'm asking much. Do you think this is how I should go about at this issue? 1
Thruster Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Blue Jay: after a romp in bed Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh we don't want to talk we want to sleep so talk away It's just the facts now if you wake us up for round #2 yea we will talk -- not sure what we will remember but yea we will talk 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Oh my goodness!! YES, I've dated and bedded men exactly like this and YES it is not only exhausting but disheartening. I mean, am I REALLY that uninteresting that you don't have ONE question for me?!?! LOL! And it's not just a male epidemic either. It goes both ways. Since I'm all about being true to oneself and if something bothers you, you should address it head on so I think it's fine to confront him ONCE about it BUT you should prepare yourself for unfavorable repercussions. If he continues to be disinterested and you're continually bothered by it, you're going to have to either accept things as they are or move on. At the end of the day you will have to come to terms with the fact that this is who HE is and NOTHING you say or do will change that. Good luck.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 2, 2014 Author Posted September 2, 2014 I give the bed thing as an example, and I made sure wasn't after sex. It was just cuddling. but this is a dinner thing, a car thing, a outside thing. I try harder in the bed because its a private place. Which can hopefully lead to some meaningful conversation or in my case not. I would like to try to talk to him about it. So, I guess I will hurt his feels. Cause it's not something I think I can just deal with. Does this sound fine? Sometimes, I feel like your not interested or that you care about me because you don't keep the conversation going. I feel like I can't really learn anything about you or that you really care to know anything about me. It makes me feel really alone.
Shepp Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Blahhhh I dont wanna talk after sex! If you havent just said all there is to say with your body - your doing it wrong! Does he never have the conversations you want or is this a specifically pillow talk thing?
Shaun-Dro Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Okay, I feel like I'm struggling a bit. How do you get one of these types of men to open up. I'll be spending the night in bed with him. Bombarding him with questions about himself. And in the end I feel like a idiot. I get short responses. And what would bother me the most is a lack of back channelling. I get nothing of "So, what about you..?" I could be a piece of toast for all I know. I don't know what to do. How do I talk about how I feel? Cause I don't want to shut him down and make him feel bad? I really just want to say. Sometimes, I feel like your not interested or that you care about me because you don't keep the conversation going or really ask anything about me? I don't think I'm asking much. Do you think this is how I should go about at this issue? The real question is, what about him has attracted to you to him?
slizl Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 I am assuming that this guy is drop dead gorgeous or something? Maybe super rich? Why woudl anyone put up with a man who didn't show any interest in a woman? Meanwhile there are a ton of good guys on this forum alone who can't get a date...I don't think I will ever understand women.
Popsicle Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Strong and silent is my type. Although it's VERY frustrating, I prefer it by a long shot to men who talk a lot. My best friend on the other hand is the opposite, she prefers men who talk a lot. Her and I talk about this contrast in our taste all the time.
Popsicle Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Okay, I feel like I'm struggling a bit. How do you get one of these types of men to open up. I'll be spending the night in bed with him. Bombarding him with questions about himself. And in the end I feel like a idiot. I get short responses. And what would bother me the most is a lack of back channelling. I get nothing of "So, what about you..?" I could be a piece of toast for all I know. I don't know what to do. How do I talk about how I feel? Cause I don't want to shut him down and make him feel bad? I really just want to say. Sometimes, I feel like your not interested or that you care about me because you don't keep the conversation going or really ask anything about me? I don't think I'm asking much. Do you think this is how I should go about at this issue? Honestly, what matters more is, does he get up and get ghost after sex? That would really indicate that he doesn't want to be bothered with you. If he stays and hangs out with you listening to you ramble on and on after sex, even though he doesn't have much to say, then he likes you. Many men believe that it's best to just be a good listener to a woman.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 2, 2014 Author Posted September 2, 2014 I have a anxiety disorder, and have problems leaving the house let alone meeting people. Before this I wasn't doing anything but working and sitting home alone at night. He very popular taking me to cottages, lakes, atving. I mean the fact that he can introduce me to friends makes me jealous. If he would to say, can I meet your friends? Theirs not much I could say. Except, let me just have a small panic attack. I was thinking actions speak louder then words, and most or his actions reflect interest. He typically want to hang out with me every other day. Yes, he sticks arounds after sex, to hear me yap. I'v never had to be in a relationship, where someone puts up with my talking. I'm not a chatter bug. Should I say we have to talk?
OwMyEyeball Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Have you tried talking about yourself without being prompted? After he answers a personal question how about you then answer the same question as if it had been posed to you. Maybe he just enjoys your company and hearing you talk.
Gloria25 Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Ok, I guess I'm an 'odd-ball' chick here, but I don't expect men to talk to me like a woman would. Actually, I prefer him NOT to speak a lot because I am a stoic and quiet person too.... What do you want him to talk about? What are you trying to find out about him?
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