achingheart7 Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 So I have a very unique story. I'm a young guy from India who came to the US for his bachelors degree. As soon as I came here, I fell in love with another international student, from China. She soon became my best friend, and over the years, my girlfriend. The odds were always against us since she is a avid christian and we were culturally different, but we really did very well together. Found so much in common and never grew tired of each other's company. Had live in relationship for 4 years, held high posts in leadership positions and graduated at the top of our class. Every time she would go back, she would get brainwashed about christianity and give me crap once she was back, but I loved her anyway, cause I understood this was hard for her. So the time we spent together was mutual and intimate - like finding family members half way across the world. We started our work on a tech startup last year and are business partners too, thus sharing our dreams too. We graduated this May but both are continuing our masters degree in the same school. She met my parents in May, they really had a good time, and just like always she went back home this summer, while I stayed back. Suddenly she sent me a message about her mother asking about me, whether I'd "made any moves" on her, and she had to lie to her. She texted me saying she can't do it anymore and that what she's doing is not her. I was having a pretty tough summer anyway but this just broke me in two. Instead of helping me get through things, she abandoned me. I thought it was like the other summers so I told her we'll talk once you're back to the US. When she came back, she didn't talk to me for three days - not even a text. If the summer was a 100 days, this felt like 300. When we did finally meet - she told me that she had dumped me already - in the summer - over text - after 4 years. But I couldn't maintain NC. It seemed so unreal - so we continued meeting, lunch and walks in Central park - icecream, all of the things we always did. Little did I know she just saw me as a friend and told me there was no way we would get back together because she didn't "miss" me in the summer, like she should have missed her boyfriend. Ok, I was always the guy who waited for her - like family - and you don't miss family because they're always there - but she didn't see it that way. I don't know if it's her, or her religion - or her mom talking. It's all so confusing. So the last week we've kept NC. But we do need to communicate for the startup (we have 2 other co founders). She's been posting pictures I took of her and finding weird ways to communicate. She still wants me in her life - but as a friend only. That's obviously unacceptable, I don't see her as my "friend". I see the value in her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. We've gotten so far but the road ahead is so tough. If she's scared, she could tell me, but instead all I get is "I never loved you", "I don't need you". What should I do? I'm so confused. We have the same friends, same hobbies, live less than a mile from each other, did everything together - but everything's changed so drastically.
mightycpa Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Get some new friends, enjoy your hobbies alone, avoid seeing her and do nothing together. This is the cure you seek. It won't feel like a cure, but neither does what you're doing.
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