ladyunicorn11 Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Hi everyone, I posted the long story of my recent breakup here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/490995-will-he-ever-ready I don't want to repeat myself. I've been haunted by these questions: was I just his rebound? Did he know all along it would never work with us? Is he just stringing me along or is he genuinely confused? I can't accept that maybe that's all I was to him. After a few weeks NC, we saw each other at an event I had organized last week. He sent me flowers that day and I was really touched. We spent most of the evening talking, it was truly wonderful, I had missed him so much. At the end of the night, I was beginning to feel frustrated again, he was sending me mixed signals. Saying he missed me but still wasn't ready for a relationship with me. So I told him to leave. He did, and then I ended up leaving him three pathetic voice mails telling him I missed him. The next morning, he called me at 8:30 am. Said he was upset I had told him to leave because he was hoping we could spend the night together. I told him I didn't want us to sleep together under these circumstances, only if we could be together for real. He told me he was going to start therapy, which I was very happy to hear him say, and that he had so many things to sort out before being able to think of a new relationship. We ended the conversation with him saying I love you. I didn't reply, just said goodbye. Fast-forward to yesterday, I had to contact him for a legal thing (we had worked on a project together). We texted back and forth. He asked me to work on another project with him. I really wanted to say yes! But I knew I couldn't put myself in that position of staying in this perpetual grey zone with him. So I declined. He then said he had wanted to ask me to work on an even longer term project, but figured it was too soon. I told him it was strange he was trying to find all of these excuses for us to see each other and yet he was the one who ended it. Told him I missed him very much. He said he missed me too. I said I wished things could be different between us. Last night I slept horribly. I kept thinking of all the mixed signals he'd been sending. So I texted him asking him if it was just a question of bad timing between us, or if he had serious doubts about us - me - regardless... told him I was feeling very confused by his mixed messages. He said he would write to me tonight to explain. I am scared of what he'll say. At the same time, I can't bear this state of hoping, and not knowing if I should move on or if I should wait. Please help. Any advice would be appreciated. Has anyone ever been the rebound? Does it ever work out? Can it?
Lingo1 Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Hi everyone, I posted the long story of my recent breakup here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/490995-will-he-ever-ready I don't want to repeat myself. I've been haunted by these questions: was I just his rebound? Did he know all along it would never work with us? Is he just stringing me along or is he genuinely confused? I can't accept that maybe that's all I was to him. After a few weeks NC, we saw each other at an event I had organized last week. He sent me flowers that day and I was really touched. We spent most of the evening talking, it was truly wonderful, I had missed him so much. At the end of the night, I was beginning to feel frustrated again, he was sending me mixed signals. Saying he missed me but still wasn't ready for a relationship with me. So I told him to leave. He did, and then I ended up leaving him three pathetic voice mails telling him I missed him. The next morning, he called me at 8:30 am. Said he was upset I had told him to leave because he was hoping we could spend the night together. I told him I didn't want us to sleep together under these circumstances, only if we could be together for real. He told me he was going to start therapy, which I was very happy to hear him say, and that he had so many things to sort out before being able to think of a new relationship. We ended the conversation with him saying I love you. I didn't reply, just said goodbye. Fast-forward to yesterday, I had to contact him for a legal thing (we had worked on a project together). We texted back and forth. He asked me to work on another project with him. I really wanted to say yes! But I knew I couldn't put myself in that position of staying in this perpetual grey zone with him. So I declined. He then said he had wanted to ask me to work on an even longer term project, but figured it was too soon. I told him it was strange he was trying to find all of these excuses for us to see each other and yet he was the one who ended it. Told him I missed him very much. He said he missed me too. I said I wished things could be different between us. Last night I slept horribly. I kept thinking of all the mixed signals he'd been sending. So I texted him asking him if it was just a question of bad timing between us, or if he had serious doubts about us - me - regardless... told him I was feeling very confused by his mixed messages. He said he would write to me tonight to explain. I am scared of what he'll say. At the same time, I can't bear this state of hoping, and not knowing if I should move on or if I should wait. Please help. Any advice would be appreciated. Has anyone ever been the rebound? Does it ever work out? Can it? Honestly truthful rebounds in my opinion doesn't work out its like their only dating to heal faster or just because they want to move on faster . The person is just honestly trying to fill a hole that the last person left
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