bones1 Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Well, I feel absolutely miserable. Cant eat, cant sleep, cant function. I have been dating a girl for 7 months, some great times, some arguing times. We have been arguing more so the last month, just about everything. We traveled together, were going to live together, many times she was asking about marriage. The last month of our relationship has been rough, but 2 weeks ago after making love, she asked me to move into her house, and i thought we were on the right track. We still talked just about everyday, and hung out whenever possible. We never lived together, but she said she wanted me to move in , and I figured we would be headed that way. Then we were in an arguement one week ago, we saw each other again, and i thought all was fine. But before we had sex she was jokingly saying how she is going to date other people in the future. That was last thursday. So I gave her some space, we talked on Friday,everything seemed cool. The way she said it, she sounded like she was kidding, as we usually do. Then she didnt call me for 3 days, so i called her last night , and she told me she has been seeing someone, supposedly saw him friday and saturday,( one day after we had sex) but never before that. She met him on the internet. Her kids already met his kids, etc etc. So it seems to me they have been seeing each other long before that, maybe for about a month, atleast a couple dates, but she denies this. Anyways, I loved her so much, but at the same time, I feel hurt, betrayed, angry, sad etc . What do you people think? Was it a crappy move on her part to be looking around for others without telling me? Or is everything fair game when dating? Another thing is that we almost broke up before, mutually, about 1 month ago. But she kept calling, begging, wanting to see me. So I got sucked back in. Now that I had renewed faith in her, she drops this bomb on me. She also claims that "we have been broken up for 2 months" so what she did was fine. This is news to me, as she was asking me to move in less than 2 weeks ago, and we never even discussed seriously breaking up. She said she was "kidding" when she asked me to move in, although she said it when we were in bed together, and seriously talking about the future. So it turns out she is serious when she sounds joking, and joking when she is talking seriously. So please,someone help.... Is this behavior crappy on her part? Is it normal to just overlap relationships to avoid gettting hurt? Do you think this woman ever loved me? And how should I treat this woman in the future and now? Tell her I loved her? (which I have been doing) Or basically never talk to her again for what she did?
mysticalstar Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Hi there. I hope I can help you out. Well first of all Yes that kind of behavior was extremely crappy. No one deserves to be treated that way. You said you have been dating for 7 months and that is way too long of a time to be still playing the dating game. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 6 and a half right months right now and if he ever pulled that kind of crap with me I would boot his ass out the door. Sometimes when people hit the 6 or 7th month mark in their relationship they start to have problems. I think this happens a lot because its the same old routine day after day. Relationships are a lot of work and the longer you are with a person the more intense they get. Now you say you have told her numerous times that you love her. Does or did she ever say it back? The one thing that put up a red flag was she did not call you for 3 days and then when YOU called her she said she was dating someone else. The least she could have done is broken it off with you first before she started something else. Now if I were you I would probably give her space for a few days or weeks. The thing with girls...(well for a lot of us) is we like our space and we like a good challenge. This girl seems like she is playing games with you and you don't deserve that. it seems like you have been nothing but good to her and it is her loss in the end. There are plenty of women out there who will treat you with respect and love you right back. I know its hard to get over someone and it does take time. But try to enjoy yourself. To me this lady seems like she just does not know what she wants right now. So give her some space and maybe in the end she will come back. And hey by that time...you might have already moved on! Hope this helps and remember...you did nothing wrong. She is the one who played you and went sneaking around behind your back. NOT YOU!!!!
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