rhonin3 Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 apologies if this is long but here goes... before a i being a little background on my ex and her family... her, her mum and her brother all suffer from bipolar disorder, my ex was sexually abused by her father at a young age as well, she is now 20 and im 24 my ex girlfriend and i were in a LTR of 3.5 years, 2 of those years we lived together with her mum because it was convenient ... apart from a few little tiffs we never had fights or anything ... we were very happy together .... because of her background and her age she didnt really understand boundaries with appropriate conversation with other men etc ... i would voice that this made me uncomfortable on a number of occasions and she would continue to break my trust about it ... because of this i began to become a little controlling over her in terms of not trusting her etc fast forward to end of last year ... the mother never really made an effort to talk to me and she hands me a piece of paper that says due to reasons i cant disclose you have to find another place to live .... was a shock ... my ex and i went LDR for 2 months while i got a new place ... everything seemed fine except that we were no longer living together. at the start of june my ex got sick and the home life crumbled due to her mum having a breakdown ... we didnt see each other at all for a month ... she also stopped making love to me entirely ... we talked normally via email and tried to make time to see each other but then the mum said i dont want you two together anymore because of the way i treated her ... i was shocked i had only ever done my best to be supportive of my ex and everything she needed because of her mental disability .... needless to say this begun to cause friction between us. we talked about my ex moving in with me to my new place but she then said how she felt torn between me and my mum about moving out ... we hadnt made love at all since june by this stage and every time we had a chance there was an excuse on her end .... at the start of august i discovered nude photos of her posted online with her name as well, i confronted her about it and she lied and said it wasnt her and didnt say anything else about it .... then about a week after that i drove to her house, the mum answered the door and said hello, goodbye and shut the door in my face, i texted her and she just said i want to be alone for now im not talking to anyone .... i said ok fine. fast forward 2 weeks and still heard nothing from her ... didnt try and contact her expect once to ask if she was ok, no response .... i was driving to the doctors for a blood test and i happend to see her walking with her best friend on the street ... i stopped and said you really need to sit down with me and tell me whats happening. we sat down and all she said was it was an abusive relationship ie controlling but she said i know you never meant it to hurt me, she said there cant be an us anymore in between crying so so hard .... all i said was i want you to work on yourself, i didnt mention the nude photos or said anything about how she kept breaking my trust, i walked away and havent sent a single thing to her since ie strict NC and i plan to keep it up ....... in so torn inside that she didnt mention anything about the support i gave her or how loving and caring our relationship was ... what do you guys think? should i just keep up NC ?
mightycpa Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 I think, and this is very selfish of me, I admit it, but I think that unless you also suffer from bipolar disorder, or your family had sexual child abuse, that you count your lucky stars and get the hell out of there. Your children, should you ever have any with this woman, could certainly be hit by this affliction. And at 24, a lifetime of dealing with this unnecessary drama may seem manageable, but it will get old very quickly, and you will certainly live to regret such a choice. You're just getting a small taste of it right now, and as you can tell, it doesn't go down well at all. Bottom line, I'm sure you don't need this **** in your life. They've given you a perfect excuse to bail. Take it.
Author rhonin3 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 it ****ing sucks mightycpa ... she knows the support and love and care i gave her meant everything to her .... the breakup itself didnt really seem genuine from her side as only a week prior to it happening we spent the day together and it was amazing, she held me kissed me told me how she cant live without me and that she needs me to help her ... then i get blindsided by this ... the mother is 45 single with no friends and expects my ex to do everything with her ... i just cant believe that after this long she didnt mention any of the great things just that it was abusive and controlling ....
mightycpa Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 just a preview of things to come. Bail is my advice. I will speak of this no more. Good luck.
Author rhonin3 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 haha ok well thanks for your advice ... as they say like mother like daughter .... take care of yourself
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