Ex Has Reconnected... Via Facebook (This is a long one.)

[XFITGrl]

Background: I met my Ex on Match in January, we dated for 2 months, he broke things off because his feelings weren't developing as mine were. At the end of April he messaged me on Facebook and wanted a 2nd chance. We dated until mid-July when he broke things off after we had a conversation of kids and he said he wasn't sure if he wanted kids. He was so sure that he didn't kids that want to continue things if we would have that large of a difference of view. I was heartbroken but took it for what it was and was a re-building phase.

 

My ex is a cop and in a nearby town a cop was shot and killed during a routine stop. My heart stopped when I thought it could have been him. I sent him a message on Facebook saying "I heard what happened and I thought of you and am glad you are safe." He responded "Thank you I apprecaite that, it is scary to say the least." I did not respond.

 

In August after deciding to adopt a dog I was fostering he sent me a FB Message saying "Congratulations adopting, I remember when we were together you said it'd be hard for me to give him up. Hope nothing but the best for you." I responded saying "Thank you I am very happy about my decision he is great." I also added in essentially "I hoped nothing but the best for him, that I learned a lot from him and was thankful to have known him. Sure I would have wanted things to be different but I respect his decisions. And I would have rather have been hurt by him twice than never known him at all."

 

I thought that was it and he took my by surprise and responded a very long message. Here were his points:

- He was taken aback by my reponse because he had hurt me twice and I should hate him but it showed what a good person I was.

- He had fallen in love with my dog with the pictures I posted of him.

- He learned a lot from me, and he had a lot of things to work on, and should maybe seek out professional help.

- I treated him better than anyone else and he'd never forget that.

- He's enjoyed seeing how things have been going for me via. Facebook. I look really happy which is awesome.

- I should keep smiling because it is only a matter of time until a guy comes along and sweeps me off of my feet.

 

I responded to that saying "Thank you for your kind words. I think that's great you recognize things you would like to work on or things you feel you need to address. If things ever got tough and you need support you know how to get a hold of me."

 

AGAIN I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT!

 

Then Friday night, the night before I run my 1st half marathon I get another FB Message from him saying "Good luck on your run, I feel like you have one this weekend."

I waited to respond because should I?! Well I did, I said "Thank you that is very thoughtul and nice of you. I don't need to tell you this but I will but I'm sorry you won't be receiving those types of message from me. When things ended I needed to seperate myself so I hid your profile from FB and I don't and haven't looked at it. Hope you understand."

 

Now I am here again, dealing with my heart broken again. I still love him, I wish things were different, I wish he wanted kids, and I wish he was here for me. But I can't do this. I don't think he realizes that I am still sensitive and am hurting. If he wants me back, this is not helping. He needs to do more than just a FB message. I'm just stuck. Why is he doing this?

[ThorntonMelon]

Because he can and because you let him.

 

I assure you kids are not his issue. For some reason he's just not that into you. When he's lonely he reaches out. That nonsense about falling in love with your dog from pictures - he's playing you, nothing more. It happens, it's unfortunate, you have to put a stop to it. Block his ass completely, and he won't break your heart again.

[Simon Phoenix]

Thornton hit the nail on the head. He does this because you don't have the self-control or strength to not respond and not get sucked into it. You need to stop feeding it. Like Thornton said, block him and don't look back.