LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 LS, I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced the situation I am encountering a lot lately, each time I meet a guy for a first meet, everything goes really well but they go poof/cold afterwards. I'm really starting to think that they are expecting sex and when it doesn't happen, they next you. Am I missing something here?
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Happens to me all the time. So many times that I don't even get mad anymore, I just go 'meh' and move on. 2
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 Gaeta, Have you made any changes on how you communicate with them before the actual meet?
Gaeta Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 No, I don't think what happen before a meeting is that important. I don't spend a lot of time chatting, I don't like that. I meet them within 4-5 days. They usually fade away after 2-3 dates or 2-3 weeks. Most these men aren't ready to settle. They think they are but they're lying to themselves. I got 2 that faded away on me after 3 weeks lately. They kept saying how beautiful and unique I was, they called each day, we got date 1-2-3 out of the way then POOF...gone.
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 Gaeta, I don't think I am going to let them monopolize my time before any more meets, I've tried the texting and chatting thing beforehand and before you know it, they are texting all the time. I'm glad to hear I was on target with this is just how it is with OLD.
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Example: I met this one guy last weekend. He was thrilled of our meeting. He called each day of the week and spoke about doing something over this coming weekend. Then Thursday his communication slowed down and we're Sunday and I have not heard from him. All talk, no action. This guy will not get another chance. It's important to not waste our time with them. 1
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 Gaeta, Just curious, how do you handle it when they finally do make contact? Mine almost always do at some point or another.
Gaeta Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Gaeta, Just curious, how do you handle it when they finally do make contact? Mine almost always do at some point or another. Depends, if you have 1 meet and they take a few days to contact you it's not a fade away, it's just their style. But a guy that talks about making plans and never gets to it and goes from calling each day to suddenly not calling, that's a fade away. I usually will say: Sorry you're not the type of man I am looking for. Or I'll get a little cocky and say Sorry, I am looking for a man with a little more character and integrity. Once I told a man: Sorry you were not around so now I am dating someone else. What ever goes through your mind, you won't see them again anyway. 1
newmoon Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 happens all the time, and sometimes the dates went really well. who knows. i think with OLD people have so many options/dates they can afford to be picky, or feel they can be anyhow. they might not get a better date but there are profiles that suggest they could, so they continue looking. i sometimes hear from them a few weeks later but just ignore them at that point. 1
Author LuvsTrucks2 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 newmoon, I can relate. Guy I met Friday night just texted me and wanted to know what I was doing, I didn't respond. We had made tentative plans for today and when I contacted him earlier, he said he had a headache, really? That's the oldest line in the book. 1
sid3 Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 newmoon, I can relate. Guy I met Friday night just texted me and wanted to know what I was doing, I didn't respond. We had made tentative plans for today and when I contacted him earlier, he said he had a headache, really? That's the oldest line in the book. That is the oldest line in the book, never heard of a guy using it though. He should have played his cards right and responded with "I've been thinking of you all day" when you contacted him....
BluEyeL Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 It used to happen to me a lot, but it never happened in the past 15 months. I never had a fade in 15 months and I never got a no call back after the first date in 15 months. Before that, oh yes! What happened is that: 1. I got VERY confident. I'm very very veeeery confident now. LOL I think I'm hot sh*t. In a friendly way, I smile etc. Before, not so much confidence. 2. I let them talk more than me, I ask them questions while looking them in the eye. 3. When they ask me questions, I answer with as few words as possible, I don't launch into stories. I watch their eyes and body language, if their eyes seem like they lost focus, it means I'm taking too long with what I'm saying and I stop it immediately and let them talk. 3. I mirror their body language. If they lean back, I lean back. If the lean forward I lean forward etc. 4. I NEVER say anything negative on the first date. All the men I dated were good people. I never had bad experiences. Everything is great. No drama/sob stories/therapy sessions on dates. Well...that's pretty much what comes to mind. Works for me. 1
Zippy2000 Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 LS, I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced the situation I am encountering a lot lately, each time I meet a guy for a first meet, everything goes really well but they go poof/cold afterwards. I'm really starting to think that they are expecting sex and when it doesn't happen, they next you. Am I missing something here? I have but it depends on how much you "chase" the other person. Sometimes I notice if Im too fast to ask for another date or I push things a little or flirt too soon the fade happens because I push then the pull away. I ve done it too where I ve had girls come on to me too strong and it turned me off and I faded. I dont do this now as I ve learned to say no because if you dont. They always come looking for you again months after!!
Recommended Posts