TylerC Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 I agree with that statement when it comes to doing stuff in relationships (handjobs, oral, fingering, etc), however, I do feel intimacy is important, no matter what age. I made that clear to her a few weeks ago. For the record, we are both 16, sophomores in high school. She was used in her last relationship and pressured into giving the guy head. Do I need to do stuff every time we are together? No, but Lauren confuses me. When she is horny, she really wants me and we end up doing something. But, if she's not, then she gets mad if I talk about doing something because she says "it's not all about that." Then she also says she doesn't need me to finger her to make her happy, yet after I finger her and she orgasms I say "did that make you happy?" and she says yes it does. Today on the phone I said I hoped her period would be over this weekend and she said "Why? We won't be able to do anything (anything meaning intimacy) this weekend." I said "what about Sunday?" and she said she is hanging out with one of her friends. This weekend will have been 2 or 3 weeks, I forget, since we have done anything. Next weekend she has a show choir competition Saturday and is babysitting on Friday night. I commented this and she said "Tyler we don't have to be together every day of the weekend and we don't have to do stuff all the time." I realize we don't, that's why this Sunday we aren't doing anything because she is going to be with a friend. Next Sunday I would assume that we are going to hang out, and hopefully do something, because it will have been a long time since we have done anything and I do feel it is important and I feel closer to her after we do stuff like that. Will I break up with her if we don't? No, but I will make it clear that we need to do something soon. I'm afraid to initiate because I don't want to piss her off, but I suppose the worst she could do is push my hand away. Any advice on this?
EC Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 I think what she means is that yeah shes busy sunday and all those days so when she does spend time with you after being apart she wants to spend "quality" time not just start giving you head. She feels that is all you are after and she wont give if she feels pressured. If you really like her then wait until she wants to do stuff, and if you dont want to wait move on.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Tyler, You're 16 of course you're horny! That's natural! I'm assuming from your post you guys haven't had actual intercourse? How does she please you? Oral, etc? Of course she enjoys the orgasm. Maybe she has conflicting feelings but probably she isn't in touch with her sexual side at this age. I was in my 30's before I got in touch with what pleased me etc. Sex is not as big a priority for her as it is for you. Guys feel intimacy and love from sex- women feel it from different ways. I'd explain to her it's important to you to be close to her in that way, and while it's not always all about that- it's been awhile and you would like to fool around or however you say it.
Author TylerC Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 The fact that she wants to spend quality time with me is fine, Friday night she has a choir performance and Saturday we are going out to the mall and to the arcade since we both like to play DDR. I have been waiting, and before the last time we did stuff I waited another 3 weeks. I'm not exactly the most patient person to begin with, and while I try to control my libido as much as possible, there are some times when I want her to do the job. I've thought about proposing a once every other week idea, but, she doesn't like being pressured, so I don't know how that would go over.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 People in a relationship have to agree on what is suitable for them as far as frequency. That's part of the communication. Tyler, I think you're a good guy- and most guys at age 16 have no clue how to give a girl a orgasm so HURRAH! for you! You guys need to talk about it- explain what your needs are and that you care for her and don't mind being patient but would like to talk about what is enough sexual gratification in your relationship.
Author TylerC Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 Alright, I will call her later. Know how to give her an orgasm? HAHA, I got her off 3 times in about 15 minutes...is that unusual? Anyway, she has been giving me oral lately, and you were correct in assuming we actually haven't had sex.
Author TylerC Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 Ok, the conversation went pretty well. I told her I wanted her to know that I love her very much and care about her greatly and that it's not all I'm after and I all I care about. She acknowledged that, and I told her that just because we are 16 doesn't mean it just has to be "physical stuff" and when we do stuff I feel closer to her. I also asked if she thought marital sex was just sex, and she said no. I then told her that what we do can be like that, it can mean more than just "doing it." She said she feels closer to me and I told her yes it does feel good but I love the feeling of feeling intimately close to her. I told her I hoped I didn't make her mad because I was basically saying I wanted to do stuff more often, but she wasn't mad and she agreed with the feeling of closeness. I noted we don't have to do stuff every time we are alone because there is more to a relationship than that, so I don't know what will happen next, I guess we'll see.
Hund1976 Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 If you really like her then wait until she wants to do stuff I think its kind of funny it doesn't matter what the guy wants, he has to wait until the girl wants some hanky-panky. What if he's not in the mood when she wants some? (I'm sure that's not a problem because most 16 year old guys are in the mood 23:58 hours of the day) I think stuff needs to be a compromise, the guy gets less loving then he wants and the girl gives it up more then she wants. If one person has to compromise everything he'll get resentful over time.
Author TylerC Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 Yeah, pretty much the only time I don't want some is right after an orgasm, then I'm good for a few hours.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Tyler- are you sure she's not faking the o's?? I hope not and I would hate to deflate your ego but most of the time guys are clueless about whether or not a woman is faking- especially at 16. Not saying this applies to you but just a thought. I think it's wonderful that you're interested in the intimacy of the relationship. I was married to a man for over ten years who couldn't have cared less about that. Trust me, down the line- that will get you laid plenty of times!
Author TylerC Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 I know she isn't faking, I asked her and she swore on her life she doesn't fake with me. She said with her ex she did about half of the time, but even when he got her off, it wasn't nearly as good as when I do it. I definitely care about the intimacy too =D
iceisles Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by TylerC I know she isn't faking, I asked her and she swore on her life she doesn't fake with me. She said with her ex she did about half of the time, but even when he got her off, it wasn't nearly as good as when I do it. I definitely care about the intimacy too =D Sometimes I have to fake an 'O'. It's kind of odd when a guy has to do it, but hey, I gotta be places!
Mz. Pixie Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 I- It could possibly be because you masturbate so much? Tyler- I was meaning the telltale signs of orgasms- involuntary contractions of the vagina??
alphamale Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by TylerC For the record, we are both 16, sophomores in high school. I stopped reading your post when I got to the above sentence...
Author TylerC Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 Thank you alphamale for a completely worthless post.... Anyway, Mz. Pixie, I don't really know, I don't pay that close attention, all I know is she gets really wet and she really likes it =D
Hund1976 Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Some girls can orgasm really easy, this one girl I knew in college said she would almost cum just from the guy sticking it in. And I wasn't banging her so she wasn't saying that to me to make me feel good. She said she could easily have half a dozen orgasms during a good romp. I guess some girls are just lucky.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 4, 2005 Posted March 4, 2005 Yeah, they would be extremely lucky because what I've read indicates that only 30 percent of women achieve orgasm from intercourse alone. Tyler, as long as she likes it- it's all good!
Author TylerC Posted March 4, 2005 Author Posted March 4, 2005 =D Yep! Any little tips or tricks to make it extra good for her?
Hund1976 Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 Talk to her about what makes her feel good. Every girl is different. There isn't one trick that will work with all of them. Since she's really young though she might be kind of shy so don't push it. The one thing I've noticed as girls get older they become a lot more proactive in making sure they get off too. Which I'm personally all for, I for one could go without the guesswork.
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