alexwood Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 a timeline of my relationship with my ex 1)told me that she had slept with 8 guys(she was 19), i was a virgin(24) 2)started dating and had sex within a week 3)went to a concert 3 days later and she kissed me 4)few weeks later i saw a text where an old fuc# buddy of hers texted her wanting sex and she told him to come to town but he said he couldnt. i found out and got mad but took her back and for some reaosn apologized for looking through her phone, while she never apologized 5)few weeks later she sent him nudes. i got mad and angry but again took her back 6)she started hanging out with this girl and would always ditch me for her. she liked the girl and would do pills with her 7)ditched me one night to go hang out with a guy, i found out and told her to get her ass back in town..when she did(i was driving to where they were,she asked if i would have dumped her if she did anything with him) the next week he wanted to play video game sonline and she texted him saying "im not home sexy ) 8)she was talking dirty to a guy though text...i got mad and left her but came back.....got into another fight and called her nothing but a pill snorter...she dumped me 9)3 days later we met up and had sex and she said she loved me 10)she would act like we were in a relationship but when i pushed for it she said no....would always put me in a competition with her friend(the girl) 11)guy was messaging he ron facebook wanting to cuddle...i got mad and said next time i see him ill have a nice message for him..she told me i better not say anything to him 12)for christmas she wrote me a letter saying how much she appreciates me and cant wait to see what the future hold for us 13)in januray told me i might have to get tested for stds....she said she hadnt slept with anyone and it might have been from when she had one when she was younger 14)she started talking abotu moving out of state with me the netx year to start our life together 15) i took her out for her birthday and made her a cake 16) she spent over 100 dollars on me for my birthday 17) saw hr with a guy one night..looked through her phone and saw she ***ed him..i called her a pos and a whor*...she said she thought i was sleeping around and i said no....found out she also had sex with another guy 18)apologized and begged for her...she hooked upw ith a guy 17 yera solder than her she works with and started seeing him.. 19) she kept me around on teh side saying she missed me and didnt appreciate me like she should have, but then would sleep with him 20) i would send her nasty texts calling her names becuase i was hurt 21)we didnt talk to each other for about three weeks 22)the guy she was seeing got a boyfriend so she started to come back to me..we started to hang out and get along...i wa sstill a bit hurt though and didnt fully trust her 23) i slept with a co worker and she found out and hit me and said things about me personally that hurt..i called her names and we both said awful things to each other..i called her a whor#, bitc#, i just dint care 24)didnt talk for three weeks and i went and apoligzed and said no hard feelings and she said she had a new boyfriend and me and her would never get back together...never!!! 25) i said ok and we didnt talk for a week except a tetx she sent me which i didnt reply to..then her friend told me about how much crap she would talk about me and how she said she was using me cuz i bought her stuff 26) i confronted her and called her trash and fake she said she was totally done with me and that she used me and is glad she did and to not contact her again so heres my questions 1)why did i put up with her stuff? 2)did she really use me or is she just syaing that? 3) did she ever truly love me? why talk abotu moving? 4)is it wrong i feel bad for saying mean things to her? 5)is it wrong thta i wish i could be her friend? 6)why did we both say hurtful things? cuz we were both hurt?
No Limit Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 You were naive enough to believe her after receiving countless of red flags. You were blindisded by your feelings, you didn't want to see the truth. In the end those issues drove you to cheating yourself. You just have to be more critical about how you look at a person. And the insults? Well, wen one gets angry enough to throw them, the other one will return the favor of course.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 1)why did i put up with her stuff? Because you need to raise your standards, and you also got co-dependent. Probably also low self esteem. 2)did she really use me or is she just syaing that? I think she was using you to an extent, but said so primarily to hurt you. 3) did she ever truly love me? why talk abotu moving? No,I don't believe she did really love you. She talked about moving because she's impulsive and it felt exciting to say it in that moment. She also got co-dependent, and liked the idea of you being her Plan B. 4)is it wrong i feel bad for saying mean things to her? No. You are human and have a conscience. Of course it didn't feel good to say mean things to her. 5)is it wrong thta i wish i could be her friend? Wrong? No. Concerning? Yes. I don't believe you two could ever just be friends. There are too many feelings involved and too much bad, bad history. Friends don't treat each other with such disrespect. Don't be friends with her. 6)why did we both say hurtful things? cuz we were both hurt? Well, yes. That's usually why people say hurtful things. Sometimes they mean the things they say too, though. Some people do it to make themselves feel powerful. The bottom line is that you need to forget about her, and focus on healing yourself. She was a terrible "girlfriend" (I would seriously not even consider her a real girlfriend at all) and clearly not that into you. She would never have gone around sleeping with other guys and carrying on with shady behaviour if she had been serious about keeping you. She just wasn't the one for you. Get yourself some help in figuring out why you allowed yourself to be dragged into her immature drama. Find out why you participated in your own pain. That way, you will hopefully never repeat this experience with another girl.
bubbaganoosh Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 What it comes down to is your a glutton for punishment and you don't know when to stop. We can offer advice to you until the cows come home but until you learn how to respect yourself your in for more. They had a name for your condition. Pussy whipped. Now I'm going to let you in on a little secret. She's not the only woman with one of "those" between her legs. There are other women out there who have them too but they also have something that she doesn't have. Morals, values, self respect, manners, and no possible STD's just to name a few and if you would stop turning over rocks to find women like her, you could find a good decent girl who you could be proud of. But then it's up to you. You just have to want to meet a girl and notice her from the neck up also because with this one, your eyes were on other things so now it's up to you. Learn your lesson and don't make the same mistake twice because things could get worse like knocking her up and being saddled with her for many moons.
Zahara Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 1)why did i put up with her stuff? Low self-esteem. Lack of boundaries. Desperate need to feel accepted. Fear of being alone, starting over. The emotional attachment you developed for her. It doesn't matter why at this point you put up with it, but what you should be doing to help prevent yourself from self-damage again. 2)did she really use me or is she just syaing that? Yes, she used you to fulfill her needs. 3) did she ever truly love me? why talk abotu moving? I don't believe she truly loved you. People can say all kinds of things to get you where they need you to be. Actions -- she cheated on you. That does not signify love. Words -- didn't match her actions, therefore love likely never existed. Example: my ex declared he wanted to grow old with me but he was cheating with several women. Words mean nothing. Focus on actions. 4)is it wrong i feel bad for saying mean things to her? No, as mentioned in your past thread -- you reacted from anger. It's normal that you feel bad but you need to let that go. 5)is it wrong thta i wish i could be her friend? It isn't wrong. It's natural because you're still emotional and looking for some sort of way to keep that connection with her. Realistically, she is not a friend. If she couldn't treat you with respect and dignity when you were her boyfriend, she has nothing to give you as a friend. 6)why did we both say hurtful things? cuz we were both hurt? Yes, you from hurt. This woman, probably from loss of control over you and needing to hurt you for it. 1
Zahara Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 And no amount of replies will help put this behind you. It's done. It's over. You made bad decisions and it's time to learn from it. Accept it. The only way to get to the other side is to go through the pain and heal. 1
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