iamgaius Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Is there a best (ideal) time to ask someone out? Assuming you have her number and are friendly with her. I usually insert it around the back end of a particular conversation. But with this particular girl I feel like I am the one initiating/driving the conversations. how do you gauge a girl's willingness to go out, to say yes? Basically how would you estimate probabilities of no/yes? Thoughts?
Potz4prez Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Ask her out as soon as possible... like the first time you meet her and get her number. It's a lot easier to read a girl in person than over text. 2
R3d Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Ask her out as soon as possible... like the first time you meet her and get her number. It's a lot easier to read a girl in person than over text. What if it's a girl that shares a class or two with you, so you're seeing her regularly? In that case, is it a better idea to wait, flirt, and let the attraction build a bit before asking her out?
sid3 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 4:27. Or maybe 5:52. Adjust accordingly for daylight savings. 1
OwMyEyeball Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 What if it's a girl that shares a class or two with you, so you're seeing her regularly? In that case, is it a better idea to wait, flirt, and let the attraction build a bit before asking her out? There's no right answer to this question. Someone who's developed a lot of confidence in this area of life may offer some pointers, but their most attractive trait - the confidence itself - is what wins the day. My advice: Forget about her. Push her out of your mind. Focus on your life goals. The next time you do see her ask her out within a few seconds. Make it clear and direct - i.e. for a coffee (whenever you're available and believe she will be) The best thing you can do for yourself is to get out of your own head on these matters. Dating and attraction are not intellect-friendly. It kills spontaneity and invites doubt. For the intellectually geared mind, the remedy to doubt can, unfortunately, be even more thought. More analysis. More theorizing. More risk assessment and mitigation. Just stop thinking about her and the "what ifs". Use that brainpower for more fruitful ambitions in areas where it belongs. 1
Gloria25 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 When she's ovulating? Lol Yes, make sure you don't mess with her if she's PMSing...
Gloria25 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 There's no right answer to this question. Someone who's developed a lot of confidence in this area of life may offer some pointers, but their most attractive trait - the confidence itself - is what wins the day. My advice: Forget about her. Push her out of your mind. Focus on your life goals. The next time you do see her ask her out within a few seconds. Make it clear and direct - i.e. for a coffee (whenever you're available and believe she will be) The best thing you can do for yourself is to get out of your own head on these matters. Dating and attraction are not intellect-friendly. It kills spontaneity and invites doubt. For the intellectually geared mind, the remedy to doubt can, unfortunately, be even more thought. More analysis. More theorizing. More risk assessment and mitigation. Just stop thinking about her and the "what ifs". Use that brainpower for more fruitful ambitions in areas where it belongs. Well, IMO, there's nothing wrong with dating while pursuing education, career, etc. Just don't have high expectations - because you two are still growing, maturing, and may take different paths in life.
Author iamgaius Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 Ok way to veer off topic people! Lol In my particular case, the girl and I just graduated college. Now it is the same dead end job...that is how we met. She has no idea what she's doing with her life...i guess i am little better in that. I asked for her number. She gave it to me...although it took me like a month to ask her. It was more painless than I thought. Maybe I overthought it? But then I pretended to lose the number (play hard to get or something lol...i cant think straight around the girl). The 2nd time that I told her I lost it and re-asked, she said, "oh my god". The 3rd time she said, "this is the 3rd time I've giving you my number." Do I ask her out over the phone...put the freaking number to good use lol. Or in person? Or text...come of a bit more indifferent. You can edit a text better than spoken words, in theory at least.
somedude81 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Once you get her number, you should ask her out on a date within a couple of days. You should call her using the number she gave you, but using text may be acceptable now.
Gloria25 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Ok way to veer off topic people! Lol In my particular case, the girl and I just graduated college. Now it is the same dead end job...that is how we met. She has no idea what she's doing with her life...i guess i am little better in that. I asked for her number. She gave it to me...although it took me like a month to ask her. It was more painless than I thought. Maybe I overthought it? But then I pretended to lose the number (play hard to get or something lol...i cant think straight around the girl). The 2nd time that I told her I lost it and re-asked, she said, "oh my god". The 3rd time she said, "this is the 3rd time I've giving you my number." Do I ask her out over the phone...put the freaking number to good use lol. Or in person? Or text...come of a bit more indifferent. You can edit a text better than spoken words, in theory at least. OH, NO.... You tried to play "hard to get" by claiming you lost her telephone number? Dude, you really, really need to ask her out over the phone. I'm surprised she is still talking to you. Last time a guy and I exchanged numbers and he "forgot" my number, didn't matter how many times he apologized, no matter how much I tried to maintain interest in him, it went no where cuz I still had it in the back in my mind that he lost my number. 1
preraph Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Ok way to veer off topic people! Lol In my particular case, the girl and I just graduated college. Now it is the same dead end job...that is how we met. She has no idea what she's doing with her life...i guess i am little better in that. I asked for her number. She gave it to me...although it took me like a month to ask her. It was more painless than I thought. Maybe I overthought it? But then I pretended to lose the number (play hard to get or something lol...i cant think straight around the girl). The 2nd time that I told her I lost it and re-asked, she said, "oh my god". The 3rd time she said, "this is the 3rd time I've giving you my number." Do I ask her out over the phone...put the freaking number to good use lol. Or in person? Or text...come of a bit more indifferent. You can edit a text better than spoken words, in theory at least. You are your own worst enemy. Are you kidding me? WHY would you insult her not once but twice after she gave you her number? Get your s**t together or stop trying to date. If you have no more cajones than that, you have no business dating until you work on yourself. 1
OwMyEyeball Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Well, IMO, there's nothing wrong with dating while pursuing education, career, etc. Just don't have high expectations - because you two are still growing, maturing, and may take different paths in life. I could have been clearer when I concluded on my point. I wasn't discouraging dating. I wad discouraging analysis and overthinking. Right now the OP is guilty of both and torpedoing his chances with this one woman, ignoring other opportunities, creating needless stress for himself and diverting attention from far more rewarding activities. No prospective woman is worth that. Even if she seemed to be, it's that type of behaviour that creates the Chinese finger-trap of attraction - the harder you try, the more stuck you get. 1
Author iamgaius Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) OH, NO.... You tried to play "hard to get" by claiming you lost her telephone number? I wasn't expencting her to give it to me that easily lol. I told her that I "lost " her number so she'd regive it to me and then she couldn't possibly think i am head over heals for this girl lol. But I never actually lost her number. It was in my phone first thing haha. Bad logic I guess. But I felt I needed to counteract the fact that I try to interact with her every chance I get. So it is possible she knows I like her. Girls tend pick up on these "auras" . Dude, you really, really need to ask her out over the phone. I'm surprised she is still talking to you. Last time a guy and I exchanged numbers and he "forgot" my number, didn't matter how many times he apologized, no matter how much I tried to maintain interest in him, it went no where cuz I still had it in the back in my mind that he lost my number. I thought her knowing I like being around her would put me at a disadvantage. Maybe overthinking. But what do I do now? Aka do I take the plunge? How so? Lol Edited August 31, 2014 by iamgaius
OwMyEyeball Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 But what do I do now? Aka do I take the plunge? How so? Lol There's no manual on "taking the plunge". The entire concept of "taking the plunge" centers around spontaneity. Acting without thinking. You don't sit at the edge of the dock, pondering all of the possibilities before you dive in. What's the water temperature? Depth? Is there any seaweed down there? Should I be concerned about any aquatic creatures? How will this impact the environment? Where's my towel? Should I dive or cannon ball? Is this best to do on an empty stomach? Will I get a rash? Should I take a shower after? Just freaking as her out and stop torturing yourself with the "what ifs". You'll never find a resolution. Ever. And by the time you think you've found the "answer' some new piece of information, some unexpected life event, will throw your conclusion into doubt and you'll just end up in the same painful cycle. So yes, take the plunge. And stop asking how. 1
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