split Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. I'm 30, she's 24. We were together 2.5 years and lived together. I treated her well and loved her deeply, despite the fact that our relationship went through very rough patches due to her bouts of severe depression. The breakup was initially bittersweet, but ended on a sour note when we erupted into an argument about our relationship while I was moving out. Emotions were raw and I don't think either one of us meant to get so angry. Since then, we've had to communicate a few times to arrange exchanging each other's stuff which had been forgotten about. During this time her emails have waffled between emotionally neutral to downright spiteful. Example: She she texted me last week saying she'll let me know when I can come over next to drop her things off outside her door. This was the first time she had texted me in a month, so I was kind of surprised. She was adamant that she wanted all of her things back and that she'd look for the rest of mine in the meantime. However, the next day she somehow found out (I guess through a mutual friend) that I got a promotion at work, and sent me a hateful email saying to stay away from her apartment, to stay away from her, and that I mean nothing anymore. I have no idea why she found it necessary to send such an email when she could've just said nothing at all. Since then, she has fallen off the radar. I have emailed her once asking her to let me know when she wants me to mail her things over, since I assume I can't drop them off anymore (the things are breakable and heavy so I'd rather not have to mail them, but I'm trying to respect whatever the hell is going on). She hasn't replied. I don't feel right throwing this stuff away, so I'm going to give her a few weeks to calm down and reply. I guess my only question is: wtf? I'm trying to move on, but her sporadic spitefulness towards me is so hurtful and only leaves me with questions.
Itspointless Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) Anger gives power where otherwise no control can be found. I advice you to not take it personal. Perhaps you can arrange that a mutual friend of yours contacts her to make the exchange. Be prepared though that memory is highly subjective, this means that in the future - if you meet her - her story about everything can be quit different than yours. Almost all healthy people have the tendency to tell themselves the story that suits themselves best. This can also result in her forgetting many things you did for her and vice-versa. Your promotion could have given her anger because she got the feeling that you were doing well while she isn't. Good luck. Edited August 31, 2014 by Itspointless
ThorntonMelon Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 She sounds disordered, actually. Not planning on making a diagnosis over the computer, but that kind of hot/cold behavior certainly isn't normal or particularly healthy. I'd leave the stuff at her door one day in your lunch hour and then expect angry texts afterwards, which you should ignore.
Author split Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 I've considered leaving the stuff outside her door, but I don't want to give her any more reason to think I'm this disgusting/horrible person. I haven't even done anything since I last saw her except give her space and apologize for our last argument.
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