Zapbasket Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 A friend of mine, who in my opinion generally has a solid moral compass, recently admitted that during a time of frustration with her current partner, she took a peek online just to see who was on the dating sites. She didn't message anyone and doesn't even have an active profile; she just looked. Do you think online dating, with its ability to bring literally hundreds of available dating prospects into your living room virtually, creates a mindset even in otherwise "commitment-philic" types that there always could be someone better, and maybe encourages them to stray, in thought if not in action? Just curious what people's thoughts are on this. 1
Gloria25 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Not really.... I think people are becoming less commitment-minded because of the "me, me, me" attitude that has grown over the years. Even people who are married with kids now a days are quick to pawn off their kids to daycare or the schools and embark on what makes them "feel" good... What I think online dating produces is people who expect "perfection". By just flipping through profiles, it's not realistic to really get to know someone and people are quicker to dismiss someone if his/her profile isn't puuurfect. 1
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I understand what you are getting at and no, that isn't why she looked. If OLD didn't exist she would have hit the bar with a GF to see if men hit on her. She just wanted to confirm that she has options if things didn't work out with her BF. Obviously she was contemplating leaving him because she was unsatified with the relationship. 1
HappyLove Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 "Do you think online dating, with its ability to bring literally hundreds of available dating prospects into your living room virtually, creates a mindset even in otherwise "commitment-philic" types that there always could be someone better, and maybe encourages them to stray, in thought if not in action?" ABSOLUTELY! This is why I don't OLD anymore. I realized that even when things were going well in a relationship a guy would go poof because there is a constant grass is greener mentality. Many people in committed relationships find their partner still looking online after months of dating. Online dating is also very addictive...the constant swiping through profiles and seeing what's new. It's hard for people to give it up even though they are just spinning in circles chasing their own tails like a dog. I just pray God will send me the one IRL. 1
angel.eyes Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I think it does the opposite, quite frankly. I met my current LT boyfriend via OLD. I think it's the reason he moved at lightning speed to exclusivity, commitment, and a serious relationship so early on. Even without OLD, we both have lots of options, but for whatever reason, OLD reinforced that for him and so things progressed much more quickly.
Woggle Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 OLD is just the tool they use. Like I said before most people these days are incapable of sustaining anything past the initial chemical high. Add in a self centered me me me mentality and it is easy to see why relationships just don't seem to last anymore. 1
Popsicle Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Do you think online dating, with its ability to bring literally hundreds of available dating prospects into your living room virtually, creates a mindset even in otherwise "commitment-philic" types that there always could be someone better, and maybe encourages them to stray, in thought if not in action? Just curious what people's thoughts are on this. Yes, I do.
Allumere Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I absolutely think that is true for many. If after 3 to 6 months the person isn't perfect "I just bet I can find someone that is from the 1000s of picture and profiles online." And even when they have gone exclusive and hidden their profile if they have a paid subscription they are still getting matches/notfications from the OLD site...you really think they aren't looking. One not perfect evening, maybe the sparks didn't fly as usual and I guarantee that a majority are back online "let me just see whats out here" and poof they are gone."
Ruby Slippers Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I think the Internet is just a data tool that reveals what's already inside people. The Internet gives people the privilege of anonymity. So they feel less restricted, more free to be their true selves. I agree that more people than ever these days have a grass is greener mentality about many things. And it makes sense that people who like to consider many different candidates will be drawn to online dating, given the large menu of choices. Even though I'm a one-man girl through and through, when I did online dating briefly, I did enjoy that I could consider every type of guy from the entire spectrum, from outdoorsy carpenters to nerdy engineers to doctors running their own medical practices to hot jocks in finance But once I picked a guy, I removed my dating profile immediately and I was never tempted to revisit it. I'm just not like that, so no dating site will bring it out of me. If a dating site tempts a person to look around or sneak around, they would have found a way to do it without a computer, telephone, or even electricity. 1
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