CarrieT Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Please answer the question: How old are you guys? I'm guessing late teens/early 20s?
Zoe Lilith Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 (edited) Maybe you are right... Maybe i deserve something better. But still i need for one last try before the closure. If you are right about it all does her "end" means end or it is just some kind of trick before we get together again? You don't need closure..there is no closure! I've learned it the hard way. Let her go..there are plenty of nice girls out there, who won't take advantage of you. "Closure" is just something we (dumpees) believe we need, that one last conversation, the last look in the eyes, or an legitimate answer to question "why?"..believe me, nothing will justify it, nothing will make it ok the way they've treated us. I know you feel abused, ripped off of your time, it's ok..embrace it, learn from the mistake and move on. Edited August 31, 2014 by Zoe Lilith Typo mistake 2
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I am 24 she is 23. Here is an article I want you to read. In short, it explains that the frontal cortex of the brain -- that which enables intelligent decision-making -- is not fully attached until your 27th year (give or take). It is why many of us oldies heartily recommend that NO ONE even consider marriage until their 30th year or so. You guys have a lot of growing to do and I firmly believe that in the next five or six years, you will realize what a mistake this relationship was.
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 Anyways is it good to apologize? I feel like i need to do it. And in fact we have to meet one more time for sure to give her a present from my mother... I want to be on the strong side somehow...
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 (edited) Anyways is it good to apologize? I feel like i need to do it. And in fact we have to meet one more time for sure to give her a present from my mother... I want to be on the strong side somehow... Nope its not good to apologize. It solves NOTHING and, in fact, makes you look bad. Giving her the present is going to be a trainwreck I assure you. Just mail it to her or give to a friend. It will be AWFUL You want to be on the strong side? DONT TALK TO HER! Do that, and you'll be fine. Your problem right now is all these solutions are ALL based on her.....bad idea and destined to backfire. Quit that....its for you and you alone. Edited September 1, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Anyways is it good to apologize? I feel like i need to do it. And in fact we have to meet one more time for sure to give her a present from my mother... I want to be on the strong side somehow... No, you don't need to apologize. You won't get anywhere by doing so. And have a friend or someone else deliver the gift. Giving it to her yourself is bad news. It is not necessary and will likely only hurt you more. Stop taking part in your own pain, OP. Enough.
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 I need a recovery. That's for sure. I need to recover myself not only from this long and exhausting relationship, but to find the man i really am. Beucase i feel somehow i'm not 100% the man i need to be for myself. I find it extremely helpful to read the book "No more mr. Nice Guy" and that "red pill" section on reddit. In fact, **** me, i am responsible for all my problems no only in my life but in my ex relationship. I must take care of myself and resolve my problems to have a better future. Anyways, this thing is toast (my relationship). I have no thoughts of trying to get it back somehow. Can you recommend me more books like the one i'm reading now for self improvement etc. ?
Zoe Lilith Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Anyways is it good to apologize? I feel like i need to do it. And in fact we have to meet one more time for sure to give her a present from my mother... I want to be on the strong side somehow... Deep down you know you that you're just looking for a reason to contact her...There is no reason to contact her, yet alone to apologise to her! If she contacts you - ignore her! If you have the urge to contact her - post here, go out, try to be preoccupied with more important things in life, thing that will make you a better and happier person! She made you feel miserable and that's what's missing in you're life, you're finally free- enjoy it!
Zoe Lilith Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 I need a recovery. That's for sure. I need to recover myself not only from this long and exhausting relationship, but to find the man i really am. Beucase i feel somehow i'm not 100% the man i need to be for myself. I find it extremely helpful to read the book "No more mr. Nice Guy" and that "red pill" section on reddit. In fact, **** me, i am responsible for all my problems no only in my life but in my ex relationship. I must take care of myself and resolve my problems to have a better future. Anyways, this thing is toast (my relationship). I have no thoughts of trying to get it back somehow. Can you recommend me more books like the one i'm reading now for self improvement etc. ? Try meditation, breathing techniques, relaxing music, sports... You'll be fine before you know it. Mean wile, be greateful that you didn't waste any more of your valuable time with her and enjoy your life.
veggirl Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 Anyways is it good to apologize? I feel like i need to do it. And in fact we have to meet one more time for sure to give her a present from my mother... I want to be on the strong side somehow... What the f*ck throw the gift out!
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 LOL i can't. The fact that my relationship is over doesn't mean that the connection between her and my mother is over. I was even with my mother when she bought the gift and asked me to give it to my ex. This is a thing to do for my mother, not for my ex.
Zoe Lilith Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 LOL i can't. The fact that my relationship is over doesn't mean that the connection between her and my mother is over. I was even with my mother when she bought the gift and asked me to give it to my ex. This is a thing to do for my mother, not for my ex. Stop making excuses! She doesn't deserve that gift and if she has any decency and morals left in her, she wouldn't accept it..it wouldn't be fair to your mother! No gift, keep it as a reminder that not everyone is what they appear to be!
2sunny Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 The relationship has been over for a long time! You just keep trying to ressurect it when it should be left to die. Stop spending time and wasted energy on it(her). She's a blatant cheater - why would you even think that's a good choice? Get professional help! Your choices are harming you and your future. And stop drinking. It's a depressant.
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 I'm obsessed with martial arts officially... Is it wrong? I find it very disturbing because my whole life i had fear to step up and confront somebody for anything. I've avoided fights and never fought anybody in my life. Right now i don't fear it at all and as soon as i can i'll start to train some martial art. Yeah, i had thought i'll never lose my "soulmate" but i lost it, so something is goddamn wrong with all my life. Maybe i must let go and stop fearing of the outcome all the time. This girl got me to my knees, i never ever felt so depressed in my life after she left me. I can barely eat and i wake up at 5 A.M. with no reason and couldn't sleep more so yeah, probably i hit the lowest emotional point ever. I left my gym for her. I left my car for her. And now she left me. So **** this bull****. I'll start to train in the gym again and i'll start to train some martial art. In fact i am so goddamn angry that i'll dedicate my life to train and spend time with my car and my buddies because they never let me down and in fact i only find peace when training and taking care of my car. Red Pill from now on. I'll still respect and love women, but i'll never ever let them walk over my head again. Even the perfect one that i'll marry. I am ****ing man so this bull**** is going to stop. My advice for all the guys whining around here - stop it! I know it hurts, i know it's awful, yeah i know all that. This must be some kind of true - if you lost someone, then they are not your soulmate. If they were, they'll never leave i suppose. We can't do without women, but surely need us 100 times more. Even the sperm they use to have kids without a man comes from us. So man up! The stronger and manlier you are - the more women will come after you. This world is so ****ing wrong nowadays but the human nature and in fact the mammal nature is still the same, even if we don't **** in a tent or on the bare ground...
Always Pondering Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 We can't do without women, but surely need us 100 times more. Even the sperm they use to have kids without a man comes from us. I wouldn't necessarily say women "need" to be with men 100 times more than the other way around aside from reproduction. As for your situation, hopefully you're starting to see the things with more clarity. I was in a situation very close to yours: unstable, young, lived together, university, exes involved, getting back together several times, sleeping with each other, dependency, etc. I can almost 100% guarantee that later down the road, you'll be thinking on this with an entirely different perspective. If you want to take martial arts, go ahead, now is a better time than never to start indulging in a new hobby. If it improves your confidence then that works out as well!
Jord11 Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 I lost my soulmate too man well I thought she was at the time, I was deeply in love with her and cared for her, she broke up with me a week after my bday, she face timed me on her iPad that I bought her for christmas saying she didn't want to be with me anymore, you know how much that hurt hell of a lot, it's time to let her go as what I did, I'm in over a year no contact not one word!!! And you man need to do the same, she has a new bf now and you know what it doesn't hurt as I thought it would, let her go and disappear from her it's the best you can do, I've learnt so much from the relationship, take a step back you'll notice it too, I miss her still but mostly the faded memories, it's tough no contact isn't easy but you have to
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 2, 2014 Author Posted September 2, 2014 Guys. I just realized that one of the times when we were separated we ****ed each other a lot. I mean i had no feelings, just needed the sex. She was saying the same. We were sort of FWB. Recently she admitted to me she always had feelings for me and came to have sex with me just to see me. She never came just for the sex. The last time i saw her before a week i asked her if she wanted to have sex. She said no because she will only do it if she had feelings for me, which she said she hadn't. Later asked one more time - again no. Actually we ended up having sex 4 times and she was super, super wet. As i say that i wonder why she said to me she do not want sex because she had no feelings left and then we did it 4 times? The fist time i took the step and she barely resisted. The next 3 times i was likely raped by her. What the ****? Don't get me wrong, i do not try to make reasons to be with her again. It is unbelievable but i hardly miss her now. Maybe because we broke up so many times that somehow i'm used to it. Anyways... would it be wrong if try to make her my FWB for real? No feelings involved and i'm pretty sure i know how to make her want me even if there are "no feelings left".
lonewalker Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Guys. I just realized that one of the times when we were separated we ****ed each other a lot. I mean i had no feelings, just needed the sex. She was saying the same. We were sort of FWB. Recently she admitted to me she always had feelings for me and came to have sex with me just to see me. She never came just for the sex. The last time i saw her before a week i asked her if she wanted to have sex. She said no because she will only do it if she had feelings for me, which she said she hadn't. Later asked one more time - again no. Actually we ended up having sex 4 times and she was super, super wet. As i say that i wonder why she said to me she do not want sex because she had no feelings left and then we did it 4 times? The fist time i took the step and she barely resisted. The next 3 times i was likely raped by her. What the ****? Don't get me wrong, i do not try to make reasons to be with her again. It is unbelievable but i hardly miss her now. Maybe because we broke up so many times that somehow i'm used to it. Anyways... would it be wrong if try to make her my FWB for real? No feelings involved and i'm pretty sure i know how to make her want me even if there are "no feelings left". I have to be brutally honest with u. U still love her. Dont kid urself. The Fwb will not work becoz it will only makes you love her longer and unable to break off the emotions.
Always Pondering Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Anyways... would it be wrong if try to make her my FWB for real? No feelings involved and i'm pretty sure i know how to make her want me even if there are "no feelings left". It would be wrong, yes. FWBs do not work out if either / or both people involved have feelings. Sure, the sex will satisfy your physical desires but in the end, you'll only delay healing and hurt yourself by doing this. You obviously have feelings still so FWB is not a healthy option. Also, you can't manipulate people's feelings like that, it just doesn't work.
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 Hi guys&girls. My ex gf broke up with me 3 weeks ago. She unfriended me from facebook right away. So since i'm not in her friends list i cannot see what she post. I cannot hide that i checked her profile every now and then just to see if she still have facebook because she told me that she will deactivate it soon. Today i saw that she have blocked me on facebook. So i want to ask why the heck would she block me since i do not write her, do not see her wall and don't even know what she's up to in the past 3 weeks. I let that go. She said back then that she have moved on before she broke up with me so i guess she doesn't care. But now with this block out of the blue i don't know what to think. What is your opinion? Just to be clear - i'm not in depression mode, i'm living my life just fine so far. I'm no longer bothered that she is not around anymore. But somehow i have the feeling that she is playing some kind of game that includes me in the future and i'm not sure that i want to be in that game.
mightycpa Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 But somehow i have the feeling that she is playing some kind of game that includes me in the future and i'm not sure that i want to be in that game. Well, it is a very good thing that you've moved on, because what this behavior means is that she's completely done with you, and she doesn't want to hear from you anymore. Also, she's not really happy with you checking her stuff. I'd bet it feels like you're stalking her, so her reaction is to just cut you off at the pass, in the hope that if you have no access to FB, phone, text, instagram, snapchat twitter and whatever else in the world you use, you'll stop looking into what she's up to. "The game", as you put it, actually includes you not being there in the future. You don't have to worry about it now.
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 I don't know how she could feel like being stalked because i doubt that she even knows that i check her fb every now and then. I did it 3 times so far - 1 for a week. And she have no clue that i was doing it. We've been totally NC for those 3 weeks as i don't know where she is, what she is doing and she don't know anything for me either. No phone, no instagram, no twitter, no facebook. I strongly doubt that you can see if someone is visiting your facebook because if that was possible i should've know it by now. So there is no way that she blocked me because i was checking her fb because she can't know that. I never tried to message or call here during those 3 weeks. Basically this is "out of the blue" as it can be. That is why i'm asking. If i did something that caused her to block me i wouldn't ever bother to post a topic.
BC1980 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Well, the most obvious answer is usually the correct one, so I would say that she wants nothing more to do with you if she is blocking you from FB. It might seem out of the blue for you, but it may have been something she considered for a few weeks. I doubt she is trying to play a game that includes you.
Author ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 I'm totally fine with what she's up to because i've accepted and know for sure that for me this is the end. Just don't know why would anybody bother to do that she did because there is simply no point from my point of view. If she cannot see what's going on in my facebook i don't see why should i block her because she already can't see anything. The same goes for me because i can't see anything and see no point for that block. It's not like i spammed her messages with excuses and begging her to give me one more chance to block me.
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