Zippy2000 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 (edited) Good day, Loveshackers. Im feeling a bit odd just now and need your help and advice. There`s a girl I liked and its been up to a year since I ve liked her. We dated briefly last July and we have been in constant contact since then. Texts every day and phone calls every week. Recently her texts have slowed and you can see a gap of 2-3 days now. The most was up to 5 days which isnt her at all. I had the feeling she met someone else. No idea how as she isnt on any dating sites so unless its someone she met at work. It was confirmed today when I hadnt heard from her. She sent me a message on messenger asking if I was out later this evening and I replied I would be. We hang about the same social circle so her friends are my friends. Shes been to my place for dinner, and I ve been to hers. The thing is she replied back "Im out too:D think meeting at 8 somewhere...bringing my +1 too hehe :D" Im asking if I should go. I feel I might lose face if I don`t as I was asked 3 weeks ago if I was going and I said "Yes". I ve liked this girl consistantly but Im not feeling it today if shes met someone. I dont really want to meet him though. SO shoulod I put on brave face and just go and not let anyone down or should I make a no show. Any advice? Edited August 30, 2014 by Zippy2000 Update
HeartDesires Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 I'd love to help if I knew what you were talking about
Author Zippy2000 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 I feel really down at the moment. I ve given feedback and tried to help people on here but no one helped me As above but what I was meaning one of my friends had a night out and ths girl I liked was going as well. She asked me is I was going and she told me she had a +1. Meaning she had met someone. I wasnt going to go but I put on a brave face and went along. I was askimg advice if I should go along or not. I didnt really want to met this new man of hers. Well tonight I did and I ve met him I have no idea what she sees in him! lol Not the best looking guy, and has hardly any conversation skills. I m done guys with dating. I m fed up of it all.
preraph Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I know what you're talking about. You've been hoping for a year it will turn into something besides friendship. You noticed she grew more distant and now you know it's because she has a boyfriend and is excited about it. She asked you out to where they're going, but why would you want to punish yourself that way? You're in the friendzone. You can at some point ask her if she wants to go out on a real date or not. Probably if it was going to happen, it would already have happened. But if you have not made your move, better let her know you like her more than just a friend and would be jealous if you had to see her with her new +1. Sorry it's not what anyone wants to hear. For what it's worth I did have one guy after me for about 3 years before I finally took him up on his offer. But it's not like he was around all the time, only peripherally at gigs and stuff, so the friendzone thing wasn't set in stone. If you cultivate a friend relationship as you have done, it's very hard for women to make the shift. Feels like you're f'ing your brother or something. 2
Gloria25 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Dude, sorry for what you're going through, but seems like you were in the friend zone in this year you've been interacting with this chick. I mean, have you two ever touched, kissed, gone on a intimate/romantic date? If the answer is "no", then how can you be surprised, hurt, or disappointed she is with someone romantically? 1
Assasda Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Its great that you went. The thing is, I dont know why youre keeping this girl as a friend if you like her so much. She seems way too safe to be around you. Hating on the dude doesnt score you any points btw. Sorry that I got to see your topic late, but you made the right decision by going
Author Zippy2000 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 Thank you guys for your reply. I went and it was tough but I was very disappointed and sad she told all my other friends she had met this guy and not me. She chose to tell me on the day. I couldnt back out on the day as I told a whole group of friends I was going and if I didnt go I would of let them down and no one would ask me to go again, and it would make me look bitter she had someone else.
Author Zippy2000 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 Sorry it's not what anyone wants to hear. For what it's worth I did have one guy after me for about 3 years before I finally took him up on his offer. But it's not like he was around all the time, only peripherally at gigs and stuff, so the friendzone thing wasn't set in stone. If you cultivate a friend relationship as you have done, it's very hard for women to make the shift. Feels like you're f'ing your brother or something. Thank you Preraph. You are so right with your answer. Its kind of like your situation. I ve liked this girl for a year and we contact each other everyday by text and Messenger. When I left that night I d usually text her to see if she got in ok or she message me. In fact I left it. She then contacts me with 3 messages and asked me how the night went. I mentioned nothing of her new man and siad it was a good night. Im not hoping for anything now as she has someone but Preraph. How long did it work out with your friend and what changed? Was it becuase he disappeared for a while?
Author Zippy2000 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 (edited) Dude, sorry for what you're going through, but seems like you were in the friend zone in this year you've been interacting with this chick. I mean, have you two ever touched, kissed, gone on a intimate/romantic date? If the answer is "no", then how can you be surprised, hurt, or disappointed she is with someone romantically? Yes, and know about moving beyond the friend stage. When I went on a date with her this same month last year she touched my arm. I touched her back. I ve kissed her every now and again. She wasnt a hugger until I initiated hugs with her and then she became receptive. I know Im in the friendszone now but Im just getting information and facts so I can learn from this. Thank you for your input. Edited September 3, 2014 by Zippy2000 Spelling
Author Zippy2000 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 I want to date her not be friends with her.
todreaminblue Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 I want to date her not be friends with her. then dont be friends with her zippy,you do have that right to choose that you do not wish to have a friendship with her....let her know that...dont put yourself through heartache.....deb 1
Supernatural Posted September 3, 2014 Posted September 3, 2014 She wasnt a hugger until I initiated hugs with her and then she became receptive. I know Im in the friendszone now but Im just getting information and facts so I can learn from this. Thank you for your input. If you like a girl.. Never hug her! It's like the mob boss giving you a kiss. The kiss of death. Instead... *in godfather voice* The hug of death. Seriously. If a girl goes to hug me, I'll just slap her hand, like a hi-5. And she'll be like "uh-oh-uhhh YA OKAY!" and it lightens the mood, and mind fvvcks her. No friendzone for me. I'd rather be punted out in to the garbage bin with a banana peel on my head than in the... FRIENDZONE... DUN DUN DUUUUN! ------------- How could you allow yourself to be in the friendzone for 1 year? text and phone everyday?!?! And allow this! You have serious work to do to get out of this one. Has she denied you before, romantically?
Assasda Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 Good day, Loveshackers. Im feeling a bit odd just now and need your help and advice. There`s a girl I liked and its been up to a year since I ve liked her. We dated briefly last July and we have been in constant contact since then. Texts every day and phone calls every week. Recently her texts have slowed and you can see a gap of 2-3 days now. The most was up to 5 days which isnt her at all. I had the feeling she met someone else. No idea how as she isnt on any dating sites so unless its someone she met at work. It was confirmed today when I hadnt heard from her. She sent me a message on messenger asking if I was out later this evening and I replied I would be. We hang about the same social circle so her friends are my friends. Shes been to my place for dinner, and I ve been to hers. The thing is she replied back "Im out too:D think meeting at 8 somewhere...bringing my +1 too hehe :D" Im asking if I should go. I feel I might lose face if I don`t as I was asked 3 weeks ago if I was going and I said "Yes". I ve liked this girl consistantly but Im not feeling it today if shes met someone. I dont really want to meet him though. SO shoulod I put on brave face and just go and not let anyone down or should I make a no show. Any advice? You should go. Show that youre confident and brave
Author Zippy2000 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Posted September 7, 2014 then dont be friends with her zippy,you do have that right to choose that you do not wish to have a friendship with her....let her know that...dont put yourself through heartache.....deb Thank you Deb for your advice. However it would be hard not to be friends with her. It was a year last month we dated and that's how I found it hard to go to this night out. To let everyone know. I went in the end and it was tough as someone took pictures and she is there with her new man. Its hard not to be friends with someone who's text you numerous times of the day and called once a week. Believe me I've tried to stop but she does message me but its only once a day and not through out the day. I also have friends in common with her and to not go out and avoid her would also affect my other friends. I wanted to date her but it didn't progress any further. She's now added him on Facebook. I've truly lost her. Sad times.
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