hanksandbubbles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 hey everyone! well..FINALLY i'm in a new relationship after my on/off physical ex-boyfriend. This guy is hands down, 100% better ^_^. Just wondering, what should i expect within the first month of dating? it's been almost a week (haha, nothing i know ) but still..he's someone that i would love to stick around for awhile . He's just been out of a serious 15 month relationship and I am his first girlfriend since they broke up. We've spent the last week getting to know each other, which is great (plus he paid for everything which is AWESOME..not used to that lol). Anyways...he does send some mixed signals sometimes. I feel like I initiate stuff most of the time. I had a talk with him yesturday about this, and just told him that I didn't want this relationship to be solely physical. I also told him I need stability. We are taking this day by day. He seemed surprised about this whole initiating first thing, but the good news is, is that when i DO initiate stuff first, he reciprocates the feelings+ acts back on his own..so maybe it's just trust/ nervousness? So again, my question is..what should i expect the first month of a relationship? He knows that we are going to be holding off the sex for awhile, and he is patient (thank GOD). We don't see each other everyday, or call each other every second..but that's fine with me..i need alittle space. Hopefully this thread makes sense...just looking for an overall expectation thing..thanks!
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by hanksandbubbles Just wondering, what should i expect within the first month of dating? The first month is always the "feeling out" stage. You get to know each other, establish some routines as far when and how often you talk, and just take things slow. It's good you are holding off on sex - I strongly advise against intimate contact in the first month, unless it's someone you've known for a long time prior to dating. Being just out of a serious relationship (like me, pretty much), I will tell you that he may have some apprehension - not about you, but with testing the dating waters again. Sometimes after a breakup, people can become a little gun-shy. Just give him time and space to adjust to you, much like you are doing with him.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 I always expect the guy to pay on the first date or two. It shows that they have "old fashioned" values or values period. But after a week, now maybe it's your turn to treat him? This will show him that you are interested in seeing him rather than just taking what you can get out of the relationship. It doesn't have to be a planned date, just offer to pay next time you do something together and the bill comes around, or a movie or something.
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by mom-wife-cheater I always expect the guy to pay on the first date or two. It shows that they have "old fashioned" values or values period. But after a week, now maybe it's your turn to treat him? This will show him that you are interested in seeing him rather than just taking what you can get out of the relationship. It doesn't have to be a planned date, just offer to pay next time you do something together and the bill comes around, or a movie or something. I usually always pay for everything most of the time. Should I actually let the girl pay now and then? I always feel bad when someone else wants to pay.
Author hanksandbubbles Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 first off, thanks iceisles for your advice... to the issue of paying, he was really adamant on paying for dinner etc. i offered to pay for my own, but he resisted (thank god old fashioned guys still exist ). mom-wife-cheater, you are right. I think that i should do something nice/romantic for him. I mean, afterall, it's not that fair that the guy has to do everything for the girl...then the relationship wouldn't be equal, and I would come across as a person who's just there for the free food I'll see what happens!
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