frankvega Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Ok met a new girl 1 month ago thru mutual friends, I am 30 she is 22 we hit it off instantly. We had sex on the 7th date after we met. Sex with her was incredible and extremely passionate. She would always text and call me every morning like 4-5 times a day. She would also always ask to see me first(she has no car and she recently migrated from Cuba) We were going extremely fast. Beyond reasonable, But it was always her who would say it first not me. She would say that we were going to spend the rest of our life together, that she was going to be the next mother of my kids(she has no kids), Just crazy stuff. And also she was extremely jealous of everyone, even her own shadow. I was flattered and played along. Last week she suddenly goes from Red hot to ice cold, from one day to the other. She started calling off dates and started to flake. This kind of left me stunned because she would never do that. She stared to pull away and I started to chase her because i couldn't understand the sudden change of behavior. I got tired of chasing her so i went NC for 2 days. She started calling me like crazy blowing up and texting my phone until I answered. When we spoke she was actually stuttering from how nervous she was from talking to me. I keep it short and said i need to go bc i was busy. Later i texted if she wanted me to pass by so that we can go out Friday night and she goes cold again giving me curve balls and excuses that she is tired and stuff(she doesn't work because she has no work permit). I didn't even answer back. Should i give her an ultimatum saying that when ever she is ready to date again like before to call me with a time and place if not not to bother me. or should i just play along her push and pull game. Any advice from experts on these little push and pull games would be greatly appreciated.
CC12 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 To be completely honest, she sounds kind of nuts, with all the talk about having your babies and stuff after only knowing you for a month. And you barely know her. So I'm not sure why you're surprised that this unstable quasi-stranger is behaving oddly. My real advice is to run away, quickly. But I know you're not looking for that kind of advice, so all I can say is to go along with the crazy and not try to analyze it too much. Hopefully you get tired of it before things get too deep. 2
Assasda Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 I think you should just back off without any ultimatums. See other people. If she wants to come around she will
veggirl Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Why even bother with this drama? She's acting like a child because mentally she still is one. There is no way, no way whatsoever, this relationship will end up being happily forever after. I would just break up and start dating more mature women. I mean "next mother of your children" and s.hit after a few weeks of dating? That is not normal and should have been a red flag, seriously. She has issues and lets be real...she does this w/ every guy she dates and I'm sure you realize that right? 2
Author frankvega Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 Hi you are absolutely right. My logic says run away. I already have 2 kids and 2 ex wifes already. What baffles me is how someone that is so insanely interested in someone, one day all off a sudden just loose interest the next. Also all we did when we saw each other was build tension with one another that would lead to sex. That is way it shocks me that she lost interest with me so rapidly from one day to another.
Author frankvega Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 Hi you are absolutely right. My logic says run away. I already have 2 kids and 2 ex wifes already. What baffles me is how someone that is so insanely interested in someone, one day all off a sudden just loose interest the next. Also all we did when we saw each other was build tension with one another that would lead to sex. That is way it shocks me that she lost interest with me so rapidly from one day to another.
Author frankvega Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 Update: today I received a missed call from her, I called back like 3 hours later and asked her if she would like to go out tonite. She gives me a lame excuse that she has nothing to wear and asked we can leave it for another day. I thinks this is totally ridiculous what she is doing. I don't even know why I am wasting energy and time thinking about this s.hit
smackie9 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Hah she wants you come crawling on your knees, beg to be with her and put a ring on her finger....RUN FOREST RUN!
Author frankvega Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 I am also cuban, so she knows better than that. She knows that wont work on me.
Author frankvega Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 Update: That's it i am done with this crazy chick. I called her late night again and i didn't even ask her. I just said that i will be at her house in 30 min and she all of a sudden got real apprehensive and said she was on her period and that she was going to sleep. I call BS and that. Who goes to sleep at 10pm in a Saturday night in Miami when you are 22 and single??? She was extremely rude and apprehensive considering two weeks ago we were up and down all day and having sex literally everyday. A woman's input on this would be much appreciated. I know this was heading nowhere and was beyond toxic but i kind of enjoyed all the attention she was giving me. I mean she would say crazy s.hit that i never in my entire life of dating and marriage heard of, That is why i am stunned at her change of behavior.
johnson_j Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 So did you go? That's pretty funny stuff and way to put her on her toes man. You know how those Latinas are - most of them crazy. Just use her for sex and stop caring for her, that's the only way you'll win
mightycpa Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Sex with a 22 year old Cuban chick, incredible and passionate? Who'd have thunkit?
Author frankvega Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 So did you go? That's pretty funny stuff and way to put her on her toes man. You know how those Latinas are - most of them crazy. Just use her for sex and stop caring for her, that's the only way you'll win No i didn't go. There is no reason to go since it is probably all BS and she is not even there. In spanish we would refer what she did as "Es todo un cuento" To be honest sex is great with her but she takes it way out of proportion. Its like she thinks sex is the only quality she has. She probally thought by having sex with her i was going to be hooked. Truth is i had way better sex with quieter normal average looking women than her.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I am also cuban, so she knows better than that. She knows that wont work on me. But that's not exactly true. You continue to call her and try to see her. So, in fact, it is working. I am a woman, so this is my take: She is mentally unstable. She's also screwing around with other guys and not all that interested in you. You are not the only man in her her life. And you need to run.
freebird31 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 She's immature. Not ready for a real relationship. Probably has other underlying issues. She will play this game with you for as long as you let enable her to. Immediate red flags mean RUN. Don't take it further save yourself the heartache!
HappyLove Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Everyone is calling this chick crazy but it seems like you're the one who can't take the hint that she's no longer interested. 3
Author frankvega Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 Everyone is calling this chick crazy but it seems like you're the one who can't take the hint that she's no longer interested. I know she is crazy and i truly never intended to take this further than casual sex. But she became extremely clingy and wanted to have sex every time we saw each other. Than she would start with the crazy talk which I would totally ignore because logically it is unreasonable to even respond to someone who says to you that they are going to spend the rest of our life's together after only 2 weeks of meeting them. I just played along with her crazy talk because I liked the sex and because she is a very physically attractive woman. Also like I mentioned earlier she has no work permit and just migrated from cuba. She has absolutely no clue or idea of how hard it is to live on your own and be successful in this country. So it really annoyed me having to spend money every time we went to eat out on restaurants which was like everyday. It just pisses me off that she is drifting after me not doing anything to cause her change of behavior.
smackie9 Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Well there you go....she goes where the biggest wallet is.....she found herself another to pay her way in exchange for sex. Make total sense now.....
Justletgo Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Mixed signals = trying to turn you down easily. Furthermore considering what you said about her being hot at first and now cold. Means she is most likely interested in someone else now. I know it's really hard to let go of someone you are into. But unfortunately you are going to have to man up and move on with this one. Also be wary of young twenty-somethings. Most of them enjoy the attention they are getting in their prime years.
salparadise Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 The best advice you were given was to just let her go and find someone more mature and stable if you want to be in a relationship. This one will probably not ever have a lasting, drama-free relationship. But... If you're going to keep on engaging in these antics you've got to get the upper hand. Understand, it's not about you and it never will be. All that matters is how she is feeling at the moment. She thrives on validation. If she's getting plenty of high quality validation (supply) elsewhere then she'll be gone. If she's not getting it elsewhere and doing the push-pull to manipulate, the solution is to be better at her game than she is. You have to use the pull away to keep her chasing the validation. As soon as she starts thinking that you're crazy for her she will lose interest and find someone more challenging and start the cycle all over again. 1
truth_seeker Posted September 1, 2014 Posted September 1, 2014 This chick is crazy now and as she ages she will only get worse. You got the sex, so consider it a win on your end. Now get rid of her before she plays you even more - more to the point she will get violent with you.
Author frankvega Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 Hi everyone. Thanks for the responses. I actually feel relieved of not having to spend any more money on restuarants and drinks and gas. Every time we went out which was like everyday since we met was easily $100-150 between gas, food, parking, hotels, ect... Anyways last time we spoke she was very rude and apprehensive and I really think I deserve better. So I texted her a really humiliating text saying that when ever she want to have sex just let me know and i have not texeted her since. I could care less if she comes back or not. she has too many issues for me to deal with.
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