dipa0076 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Hi.. My BF broke up with me and choose another girl after our 8 year of long distance relationship. This is the most shocking thing happened to me in my life. I can't see any good thing. he is saying he want to be my friend for whole life. But how can i see him with another girl and be his freind after this ? I want to come out of him.. totally want to erase him from my life. He left me but still i can't come out of him. May be his love was not true thats why he jus left me bt i can't come out of him. i js feel sad thinking he is not with another gal. and i am alone and suffering from this sad feeling. We work togather online so we need each other for help. i feel for sometime i should leave this work :/ what should i do to come out of him. i am not able to hate him though he spoile my life. because my love was not fake but i want to hate him or anyhow want to come out of him. i dont want any sympathy .. i want ot be strong girl.
Strength in Healing Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 All you CAN do are two things: 1). Realize it isn't your loss. If he were worth your pain, he wouldn't have done this to you in the first place. He isn't as good as you thought (or made him out to be in your own head, as we all tend to do). 2). Go 100% no contact. ZERO CONTACT. Do NOT speak to him. Don't reply to him. Period. End of story. 2
Author dipa0076 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 How? Everything is reminding me of him I am nt able to see love movies or love shows becoz it hurts me I dont knw when this pain will go from my heart I cant see any happiness in my life Thisbis so sad How 1 person can changes your life this way.. Put u in this situation and enjoy with another girl
central Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 You will get over this eventually. Long distance seldom works unless you can work out a way to be together within a year (two at most). Otherwise, the desire for a real relationship and human contact NOW will eventually become too hard to resist for something that is always just a possible future.
zen2475 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 It takes time to get over a break up and a betrayal such as yours. I agree NC is the way to go, and the best thing you can do for yourself now is allow yourself to process ALL of your feelings. Yes, being in pain sucks, but the best way to recover and get over him is allow yourself to feel sad, angry, confused and whatever emotion you may be feeling. In that, you begin to see just how not good this person and the relationship was for you, you get stronger, and you eventually heal. Trust me, you will come out of this stronger and even happier, but it is a process and you need to allow yourself the time to go through it. Don't talk to him unless you absolutely HAVE to at work. Cut out anything that reminds you of him; phone numbers, email addys, social media contacts, etc. Meanwhile, be very, very, very good to yourself. Surround yourself with family and friends, and do things you enjoy and that soothe and relax you. Or, try something new you have always wanted to do, like a new physical activity or hobby. Many of us have been there, myself included. I was dumped hard a year ago, and now I've come through it and I can genuinely say I'm happy. It will happen for you too. 1
Author dipa0076 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 Thank you so much Your words are very motivating.. Its great when someone understands your feelings and as you said u have faced the same so you know very well how i am feeling right now. I have big fear in my life that is being alone My life's biggest fear is this only being alone and i can't handle myself. though my friends family are there.. but noone can replace that special person's place in your life. and this breaks me so much. i feel that whole life i have to spend alone.... i have lost my 8 years to that person and he left me alone so i dont know wheather i wil find a right person or i have to be alone whole life.. this feeling of loneliness scars me i am not that bad, even i am better than him... still my inner confidence is gone and this loneliness covering me i motivate myself saying someone will come in your life who deserves you but again i think what if nobody will come. All the nagative thoughts are coming and makes me sad. i know one day i will come out of him but what will i get in the end ? he will get married to that gal .. and i ? i will be alone forver ? I know there are many people who are alone and still happy. but i am not able to be happy this way It takes time to get over a break up and a betrayal such as yours. I agree NC is the way to go, and the best thing you can do for yourself now is allow yourself to process ALL of your feelings. Yes, being in pain sucks, but the best way to recover and get over him is allow yourself to feel sad, angry, confused and whatever emotion you may be feeling. In that, you begin to see just how not good this person and the relationship was for you, you get stronger, and you eventually heal. Trust me, you will come out of this stronger and even happier, but it is a process and you need to allow yourself the time to go through it. Don't talk to him unless you absolutely HAVE to at work. Cut out anything that reminds you of him; phone numbers, email addys, social media contacts, etc. Meanwhile, be very, very, very good to yourself. Surround yourself with family and friends, and do things you enjoy and that soothe and relax you. Or, try something new you have always wanted to do, like a new physical activity or hobby. Many of us have been there, myself included. I was dumped hard a year ago, and now I've come through it and I can genuinely say I'm happy. It will happen for you too.
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