josation218 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 (edited) I've been dating my current girlfriend for 4 months already. Everything has been going well. Like every relationship we have had our ups and down but we always manage to work it out. This Weekend I was planning to take her on a road tripbut I can’t because she already has her weekend book. She just started workingas a sale rep for a water company and she has the option to make her own schedule. for some reason she decided to book a client Saturday morning since he couldn’t meet up with her during the week. Keep in mind that she has already met her quota for the month. She didn't have to work this weekend. I was fine with it but a couple hours later she tells me that Saturday night we are hanging out with her best friend and her husband and two other married couples. I’ve never met her best friend before so I feel alittle uncomfortable meeting her that way. I was ok. Last week, it was one of my friend birthday party, so he decided to through a BBK at his house. I told my girlfriend to come and to bring two of her friends that I've already met before. She said ok. At the BBK we all having a good time and one of her friend was late. She walks in and didn't evensay hi, even though she saw me. I let that slide. A couple of minutes later she was by herself and I was by the BBK getting some food. She looked at me Walked over and was like ohh hey. I was like hi, you are looking tall today. Know that she's like 6 feet tall but that day she was looking taller. For some reason she got mad at that comment and told my girlfriend that i was being disrespectful. My girlfriend confronted me and I told her all I said was that she was looking taller and that I didn’t meant any disrespect. We went back and forth and at some point she said something that got me upset. I walked away and a couple of minutes later I told her listen I'm leaving are you staying here with her or you coming with me. Her friend got upset and call me an ass**. I told her to don't intervene that she's a bad influence for my girlfriend at that moment she got really upset and left. Know that in the past that friend of her has done her dirty. Furthermore, my girlfriend didn't like that I spoke to her that way and I admit to her that I was wrong. I should it had spoken to her that way. I even apologized to her friend for the way I acted. Yesterday my girlfriend sent me a text message saying that her friend has invited her and her family to a BBK. She goes on by saying that on Sunday she is going to spend most of her day with her. Know this, she didn’t even asked me if I wanted to go. I’m guessing her friend told her not to bring me. Should I be mad about that or should I just let it go? This week she didn’t even bother to ask me what would I like to do? She just decided to make her own schedule without even acknowledging thefact that I might off have something plan already Edited August 29, 2014 by josation218
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I worked with a girl that was over 6' and she mentioned how she hated it when people would make comments like " You don't need to wear those..." (high heel shoes). I agree you were rude to her friend. You were not quick to apologize so your GF figured you did it just to shut her up. You insulted her friend by calling her a bad influence. You put your GF in a compromising situation by making her choose between you or her friend. jerk jerk...jerkity jerk. And now you blame her friend for not being invited. I bet money on it your GF made that call not to invite you to avoid anymore embarrassment....you should be humble because she hasn't dumped your a ss yet.
mightycpa Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 You should let Sunday go. Buy a nice bottle of wine for her to take along, tell her it is a peace offering for her friend, and unreservedly wish her a good time. Wait for GF to contact you after. Don't text, call or visit first. And don't ask about it when you do talk to her. The power of least interest is in play. Your next move will depend on what your GF says. Whatever it is, you're going to have to deal with this directly. Your GF is going to have to be the peace broker, because you can't be with your GF and not have a cordial relationship with her BFF, especially if they do things together. Somehow, some way, you are going to have to be able to be in the same room together and interact sincerely with each other. So you will need to ask your GF to do this, and if she can't/won't make it happen, or the well is too poisoned, then I'd start looking around for a replacement, because it is probably just a matter of time before one of you gets bounced (meaning you).
deathandtaxes Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Friends of girlfriends...ugh. This stuff can get complicated really quickly. And first impressions are extremely hard to break. Now your gf's friend thinks you're an ass. First off, she's probably already jealous of you. The new bf that spends time with her friend and takes her away from her. Second, the situation at the bbq you frakked it pretty good. You had a perfect opportunity to apologize to the friend for any perceived disrespect, but you end up getting into some kind of tiff and issuing an ultimatum to your gf to stay or go. And guess who looks like an even bigger a-hole in the friend's eyes? You have to salvage this bigtime or your relationship with your gf will never work. She will always listen to her friend.
todreaminblue Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 would you apologize to the friend of your gf, if your gf hadnt got so upset..... i think its really petty all the way around......gf, her friend and you ....little tantrum chuckers...... so anyway, its probably best that you try and make it up to her friend by a small card or thoughtful gift.......and apologise to your gf when you see her again......thsi situation could have been dealt with maturely but it wasn't so decide on how you want rectify it and it will be you who has too.......i suggest next time talking in private when you and your gf are alone, if you are going to argue or discuss and disagree ..... and not at someone elses place never in public or in front of others.......it is quite rude and confronting for all.....definitely uncomfortable..............deb 1
Assasda Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Naa you should be stark raving mad. You already proved that you cant keep your emotions in check, so why not. You also sound pretty controlling. So mad would go along with your persona 1
Poppygoodwill Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 I think what you're trying to say, OP, is that you don't feel that your GF is as invested in your relationship as you are. YOu feel she makes other people a priority over you - her client, her friend, her sister, etc. If that's the case, I sympathize. that can be a scary feeling - to be committed to someone and feel they are not as committed to you. It's like vertigo; at any point you feel you could tip over the edge. How best to go about fixing it though? I think it's clear that current strategies are not working, and in fact, driving her farther away. So I think you've got to try something new. It begins with knowing for yourself just what is it you're actually upset about, and what makes you feel that way. And then sitting your GF down and in a quiet way, telling her how you feel. And what you'd like to see her do differently so that you don't keep feeling the same way. If you can explain clearly what you feel, and help her understand what you need her to do differently, and then she still continues on in the same way - you know that she really doesn't care that much. But mainly when people like one another, if they understand the problem, they will do what they can to fix it. Give her a chance to do that. But first: know thyself.
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