Tommyboyp Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Hi I have been in a relationship with my girl for 9 months and 3 weeks ago we had a big talk and she said she needs space from us while she concentrates on getting herself right. She failed an exam at uni and cannot graduate until she passes the resit, I know it has been bothering her for a while. She wrote me a big letter stating she knows I'm a great guy handsome hardworking etc and that she cares for me and doesn't want to give up on us etc just to give her some time to focus on her. It came as a shock but I knew things were not right, we have always seen each other maybe 2/3 times a week but that had changed recently, she wasn't acting off though, our last few nights out before thebreak were fun, great sex lots of kissing, even the night we broke up we kissed and spent the night together. Anyway I haven't contacted her in nearly 3 weeks, texted her yesterday to say hi hope you are good, we need to have a talk be nice to see you. She did respond 12 hrs later with- Hi glad you've texted me. I've wanted to contact you but...complicated. You're right we need to talk, missed you. When are you free? Friday? When I first received the text I was feeling good but now thinking about it and reading it too much I feel anxious and I'm feeling all this asking for space may be a story to let me down gentle or hope I end it when this gets too much. I'm wondering why not just end it with me if you don't want me? I'm nice and easy to talk to, I think I made it easy for her to just end things when we chatted. I have been thinking too much about this but I care about her and really want to make us work if she feels the same. I'm confused I've respected her wishes and given her some time alone no chasing or desperation, it's been 3 weeks and our fb relationship status still says we're together too, not trying to read into that much but she surely can't be chasing other guys? Any advice or help would be appreciated I'm in limbo and really need to start feeling better about this.
Lani Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Are you free Friday? If so, meet up with her and talk this through. Openly and honestly, like adults. She's the only one who knows the answers. And if she wants to leave, let her. She'll come back if it's right, otherwise she was never really yours to begin with.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I think in her mind, the relationship is over. Three weeks with zero contact isn't taking space, in my experience. That's a break-up. I think if she truly wanted to give it a chance, she wouldn't have let three weeks go by with radio silence. I'm a bit confused by your post though: you say you knew things weren't right, but that she wasn't acting off. So, what was your indication that something wasn't alright? I could be totally mistaken. You'll have to update us after you talk to her.
Author Tommyboyp Posted September 1, 2014 Author Posted September 1, 2014 We have spoken although it took all week to get hold of her. I was totally expecting the finished talk but she seems to say she never wanted or thought we were over?! We have agreed to talk things though about what in the relationship didn't work and how we can change that if we are to stay together. If I'm totally honest I feel there's more to it, it still feels like she doesn't really know what she wants but I've given her lots of chances to be over; we both did agree it would be a lot easier than this if things were just over than this so I know she does want to try. My thoughts are really about can this work between us? Do relationships work after this sort of thing? I'm calm and not feeling needy but like I said to her it will only work if we both want each other otherwise there's no point
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