freebird31 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Met this guy online. We eventually exchanged numbers and have been talking everyday for two weeks now. Although I have not met him yet, i find myself so attracted to him. And he is very intelligent and mature which makes him so much more of a catch.And we have been getting along so well so far. He is 25 and i am 22. So i did my homework and i found his facebook, and saw that he has a 5 year old kid. I was very bummed initially when I saw this, being that that is a massive responsibilty. It just seems out of the picture to date someone with a kid, only because I am so young. idk. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this?
Andy_K Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I've got a kid. Several girls I've dated have been either apprehensive about it, or had something on their dating profile indicating it was a deal breaker. Yet they dated me anyway, and it's never made a difference. Depending on his custody arrangements, the fear of dating someone with a kid is far more of an obstacle to a successful relationship than the responsibility itself actually is.
Lani Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 It's a personal thing really.. If you really like this guy and think you can handle dating him with a child, then go for it. If you really feel it's something you don't want to be involved in, and are willing to let it get in the way of what you and this guy could have, then save yourselves both the heartache and walk away now. Only you can know what you want
Gaeta Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 What exactly scares you? The responsibility is his, not yours. A lot of water will go under the bridge before you get to meet that child. If you have any little cousins, or nieces and nephews you'd know children are simple, they want love. Maybe are you an only child? and are unfamiliar with children?
Lani Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 What exactly scares you? The responsibility is his, not yours. A lot of water will go under the bridge before you get to meet that child. If you have any little cousins, or nieces and nephews you'd know children are simple, they want love. Maybe are you an only child? and are unfamiliar with children? That's a bit naive isn't it? If they are together then it's a partnership, his responsibilities would become hers in time, no? Children want love, yes, but they also require much, much more in order to live.
bastus Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 well at least you should try to meet his kid later , i would assume most of 5 yo kid are cute and adorable , i believe it would be fun.. just my opinion..
Mirages Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 There are good kids, and total nuisance hyperactive kids. A kid who constantly shows off, cries aggressively to manage attention, does not ask questions or care about others, and has a frequent injury pattern is something to avoid. The other type of kid is a pleasure to deal with. 5yr old is a lot better than 15year old. I favor a partner with a kid(s) over one that wants kids from me soon (I am 30's male). Also the kid is a window into his world of responsibility. You can tell a lot by how his kid acts and interacts with him. If you ever seek kids (to make) it is best to see a glimpse into the parenting skills beforehand, this includes proper cooking and cleaning. There is a fork in the road, where you don't meet the kid for a while, then when you do, the kid may develop some attachment, and you'd feel bad calling it off, nothing is perfect.
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