missinglink Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I have been with my girlfriend for 3.5 years. We have been through a lot together. No issues with us though. The only one is with me. Ever since the start I have been expecting my love for her to grow since the start, but here I am 3.5 years later with no change. Don't get me wrong, I love her. The person she is. I just don't feel in love with her. I have been waiting for the butterflies or just the feelings that I can't help. I have small phases that come and go in which I am pretty darn into her, but never anything completely solid. I have moments where I want to hold her and squeeze her and tell her I love her, but those moments are fleeting and not particularly frequent. I have though a lot about this and came to 4 possible reasons that I think it could be. 1. I didn't really have to try to win her and I still don't feel like I have to try to keep her happy. She is really into me (which makes me feel bad that I'm here with these feelings). 2. I'm just not ready to be in love (although with my ex that cheated on me and treated me horribly, I was crazy about her. I'm not anymore, but I was really into her despite everything she did to me). 3. We just don't share the same interests. Almost all the things that I feel I live for and truly bring me deep happiness, she isn't interested in and we can't share the experiences. One thing that makes me happy leaves her bored or unhappy and vise versa. 4. I am a young guy that is curious about what else is out there (though I'm a one girl kind of guy and am pretty happy with my exposure to what else is out there). Now if I described everything about her, most would find nothing wrong and say that I should stick with her and be happy that I found a one in a million girl, so I'll spare the description. But it is true, all logic says stay with the girl, but something in my heart is preventing me from being confident that I am in love and destined to be with her.
bluesgirl Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I think only you and your heart knows how to handle the situation. Someone could be so perfect and be the most amazing person, but that doesn't mean they are right for YOU! I have dated a few guys that were very good guys, didn't cheat, had jobs, but I just didn't feel that spark and deep connection. If I were you I would get out now because you've been with her long enough to know whether you love her or not. You're not only hurting yourself but her as well. She deserves someone that is crazy about her as well! I know it's easier said than done, but I think it would be your best bet to break it off with her and see what happens.
acapelo_dp Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I kind of went through a similar situation. I dated my high school sweetheart on and off for 5 years. I broke it off once as a "break" the first time because I was feeling the way you did. I felt like we were best friends and I cared deeply about him, but was not in love anymore. The second time we broke up was for good. We are still on talking terms, no hard feelings, and we are both in happy and healthy relationships right now. Sometimes relationships just fade out and there's nothing wrong with that, especially when you are young. I would suggest you go your separate ways and just enjoy being single for awhile until you figure things out.
irresolute Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Problem here is she's just too easy for you. You need excitement. You need mysterious. You need to chase. That's your nature. She is just...into you. Plain and simple. Tell her to read this book: why men loves bitches. She might change and you might lose that urge to be with someone else or to question whether you love her or not.
TigerLilly78 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Well imo she should be trying to share your interests to some degree especially if they are that important to you that will be one of the reasons your feeling this way ive always tried "and believe me its some times a stretch lol" to be interested and active in at least one thing my partner likes really its not that hard to find SOME middle ground..
SummerDreams Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 The problem we people have is that we rarely appreciate someone or something until we lose them or it. You really have 2 options, depending on your age and your will to make a change or not: you either break up with this good girl, then try to date some bitches who will make you miserable until you decide what you really want is a good girl, or you compromise with this good girl and you live a calm but not exciting life.
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