sanne Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 I don't know, but I haven't found myself completely happy with my relationship for a long time. I mean there will be periods when things are great, but shortly after something always happens to throw it off. In a nutshell, I think my problem is that I don't feel my relationship is a true 2-way street, with both partners giving equally. When I first started dating my gf, we would hang out a lot at each other's places during the week with no problems. We never had to plan any of our visits, if one of us wanted to hang out we would just call each other and come right over. At the time we were both taking 4 classes and were juggling jobs as well. Fast forward about 5 months to now. Things are ok I guess, but I find myself always wanting more. We no longer hang out like we used to, in fact we usually just end up going out to dinner during the week, and then hanging out one night during the weekend together. In general I find that this relationship is becoming more and more restricted in terms of what we actually do together, and it seems like I have to do all the planning if we are to hang out at all which really bugs me. I feel like she is controlling the relationship and making exactly how she wants it to be. My gf says she's under lots of stress from school and says that she does want to get things back to how they used to be. I just don't know if I can wait for her any longer. The relationship is fine otherwise, I just wish we saw more of each other. I'm starting to question whether or not she can give me the kind of relationship I want or if she even desires it herself. Is it wrong of me to be wanting these things? I mean I don't mind spoiling my gf, as long as I know it's being returned fully.
ggallin13 Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 You probably don't want to hear this, but you should bail. Just because you get along with someone when you are together, it doesn't follow that your needs are being met--which it sounds to me like they aren't. If she was really into you she would make time to see you.
laRubiaBonita Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 is your car broke, so that YOU cannot go over to her place? like you were saying it should be a two-way street, but it sounds almost like a dead end right now! granted, you are both busy, but ONE of you has to lead in order to lead by example.
Author sanne Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 Your right, I'm going to bring up my complaints to her, and let her know what's troubling me and we'll see if we're on the same page. If not, she's getting dumped.
Author sanne Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 I do lead by example. I'm usually the one calling or making plans to hang out. I feel sometimes like if I don't initiate or do anything we won't hang out at all. In fact, I think I'm going to try that for the rest of this week, not initiate ANYTHING at all. I'll see if she does anything at all, if nothing then I'm dumping her for sure.
alphamale Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 the equity theory of relationships states that when one member of a couple feels that they are in a state of inequity and getting diminishing returns then the relationship will eventually peter out over time. if a woman wants to spend less and less time with you, no matter what her reasons, then that is not a good sign. don't listen to what she says, look at her actions.
Israfil Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale don't listen to what she says, look at her actions. Ne'er a truer word has been spoke. (or in this case written - ) ALPHA (haha - all caps ) - you are a genius.
laRubiaBonita Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 well it seems as if you could care less about loosing the Girl, since you are know NC-ing her for the week.... Hummm... i wonder if that will push her away? It would not make me a happy GF.
Author sanne Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 i think i might be overreacting a little bit. i dunno, today she calls me and asks if we can hang out.
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