ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 Yes, everyone has their own way. Mostly based on what they really want. Sounds like he wants her back? Hope that is not why he is going NC... I tried the nice approach with this person, offered my friendship back...and was treated with disrespect and cruelty. I have self respect, and if someone treats me like that, I'm not a doormat. Not any more any way...so spoke up. For ME, for my closure. As I said, I did it to ensure he would not contact me again. Most people reach out/breadcrumbs, or NC, as advised, but honestly do so with hope for reconciliation. For me, I needed to have a say, to this narcissistic, manip e person, to get thru to him that NO friendship, no contact ever again. Job done and I'm proud that I spoke up to someone who thought he had me wrapped around his finger. Everyone's situation different, everyone handles things differently, and we all can share our experiences, to give OPs a full spectrum of all different ways to handle. There's no "right or wrong". OR you could have just, you know, stopped talking to him, kept the respect, and done nothing. Sending a hatefilled "DONT TALK TO ME ANYMORE" seems incredibly childish and "na na na boo boo" esque. Closure comes from within...not some hate filled e-mail. Love and hate are inseparable. You sent that all based on emotion. Still, I read your post on here and everything is filled with emotion. Your BU is still pretty fresh. Why not actually show him you moved on by ACTUALLY moving on. He doesnt need some letter to know you dont want anything to do with him. Again, I feel the OP has all he needs. He has gotten a lot of good advice. 1
Author CalvinM Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 Agreed. I love her completely and in doing so, I want her to be happy, even if that means never seeing her again. I'm not a selfish person and I know hating her is pointless. I gave it my best shot and it wasn't enough. I'm man enough to except that and to move on without grudges. I'd say there's less than a 20% chance she'll reach out and a 5% chance if she does that it will lead to reconciliation. I'm not interested in being friends, so I'd rather devote my time and effort to someone with whom I'll have a realistic chance of lifelong happiness.
mightycpa Posted September 9, 2014 Posted September 9, 2014 That's quite the trip you made from start to finish.
Author CalvinM Posted September 9, 2014 Author Posted September 9, 2014 *accept That's quite the trip you made from start to finish. I'm not sure if that was a compliment or an insult, but ive had time to reflect and if someone doesn't feel that way about me, I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince them. She sent me a list of things she was looking for, I thought I fit that list, she obviously didn't. That's pretty black and white to me.
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