Superman2024 Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 OK, this is rather unusual so bear with me as I explain. So yesterday I was browsing on Christian Mingle and found someone interesting. I wanted to see if I could find her on Facebook to help verify if the profile was genuine. I found her and when I was looking through some of her pictures, to my surprise I recognized a girl I had seen on Match a few months ago. She happens to be the older sister of the girl from Christian Mingle. I was always interested in the girl from Match but at the time I didn't have a paid account, so I couldn't contact her. By the time I had a paid account her profile was gone and I never got to contact her. It seems contacting someone through FB is not usually very effective but that may be the only option at this point. If I do send the girl from Match a message what would I say? I figure I've got nothing to lose but I want to do it right.
Maleficent Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 OK, this is rather unusual so bear with me as I explain. So yesterday I was browsing on Christian Mingle and found someone interesting. I wanted to see if I could find her on Facebook to help verify if the profile was genuine. I found her and when I was looking through some of her pictures, to my surprise I recognized a girl I had seen on Match a few months ago. She happens to be the older sister of the girl from Christian Mingle. I was always interested in the girl from Match but at the time I didn't have a paid account, so I couldn't contact her. By the time I had a paid account her profile was gone and I never got to contact her. It seems contacting someone through FB is not usually very effective but that may be the only option at this point. If I do send the girl from Match a message what would I say? I figure I've got nothing to lose but I want to do it right. Do you have friends in common? Whatever you do, DONT tell her that story... 1
Author Superman2024 Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 I don't have any connections with her at all. I just remember how much I liked her profile and it seemed she was looking for someone like me. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be telling her all this!
Maleficent Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 I don't have any connections with her at all. I just remember how much I liked her profile and it seemed she was looking for someone like me. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be telling her all this! Yeah...sucks but I wouldn't contact her through Facebook unless you find a good reason to give her on how you found her profile (on FB).
JM89 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Just send her a friend request. I've gotten frustrated with OLD in the past and pulled my profile...if someone that I remembered from there friended me on Facebook and I had been at all interested, I would accept. Trying to explain it in a message probably wouldn't come off well, so I'd just send the request and put the ball in her court to accept and then go from there.
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Uhhhhmmmmm have you ever thought that she took her profile down because she is now seeing someone??
Author Superman2024 Posted August 29, 2014 Author Posted August 29, 2014 (edited) Thanks, I might end up sending the friend request. FB has gotten annoying by charging $1 to send a message to someone you're not friends with. I do this when I need but I haven't thought of something effective to say to her in a message yet. smackie9, that's certainly possible but I didn't see a relationship status and there are zero pictures of guys on her page. If I don't make some sort of contact I'll never know. Edited August 29, 2014 by bluestealth
Author Superman2024 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 I did end up sending her a message on FB. She read it but no reply I'm not surprised though. There's another girl on Christian Mingle who's located really close to me, which is rare. She hasn't logged in for a couple weeks so my message was never seen and she never saw my profile. It seems most on this site aren't subscribers so most messages go unread, which is frustrating. She used her name as her username, so I easily found her on FB. I wonder if girls do this on purpose so they will be contacted in other ways without having to subscribe. We actually have a mutual friend (one of my cousins). I asked about her but my cousin doesn't know her very well. Question: Is it better for me to send this girl a message directly on FB or ask my cousin to send a message for me?
nerdlingZA Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I did end up sending her a message on FB. She read it but no reply I'm not surprised though. Question: Is it better for me to send this girl a message directly on FB or ask my cousin to send a message for me? You are one of the groupies who are loaded on her FB inbox now. Let it go, Stop inboxing women on facebook. 2
Author Superman2024 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 I'm talking about a different girl that I haven't messaged on FB yet. I'm just curious if it's more effective for me to send a message directly or have my cousin send it since they are already friends on FB. My preference isn't to pursue girls on FB, but to be honest it seems just as good as the lousy dating sites. At least on FB you know the person is actually real.
CarrieT Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Creepy and stalker-ish. I would not only NOT respond to being approached that way, I would block you... 1
Author Superman2024 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 I've never been blocked by anyone, so I evidently never come across that way. Don't you think if someone uses their full name on a dating site they want to be found? Like I mentioned earlier, I wonder if people do this so they don't have to subscribe.
CarrieT Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Like I mentioned earlier, I wonder if people do this so they don't have to subscribe. I think you are totally projecting what you are hoping for... Don't you think if someone uses their full name on a dating site they want to be found? Not in the least. I use the same name on every site I am on just to keep from having to remember too many log-ins. And here is why I think you are totally off-base... Facebook is for those people with whom I am friends or have mutual friends. I am on several dozen different sites for different reasons. But I don't necessarily want those different sites - and persona and friends - to bleed onto other sites. I wouldn't necessarily want people I know from my Submarine chat site approaching me on the Soap-making site for any reason. I am on the Submarine site for a specific reason just like I was on a Dating site for a specific reason. But do what you think will work and prove us wrong. 1
jm2013 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 That would be kind of creepy. If you want to be even creepier you should check her linkedin or Facebook and see if you can find her employment. If it is a public place like a restaurant bar etc you could drop in and tun it into a "coincidence" and be like - "You look incredibly familiar. I know this is going to sound weird but, were you ever on match?". Would probably spark some light convo.
Author Superman2024 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 I think it's different when someone uses their real name on a dating site. The idea that people do this on purpose wasn't my own; I believe I read something about it on this forum somewhere. I get what you're saying about being on different sites for specific reasons, but others may feel different and not care. Remember that FB has a specific place for relationship status and can share a lot of the same qualities as a dating profile, so it's not unreasonable for people to connect on there, especially if someone is projecting they are single. Also, I never send a friend request first because that's an invitation for me to see a more private side of their page. I just send a private message and we're both just seeing what is being shared with the public. Seriously, this creepy stalker talk gets way overused. Anyway, what do I have to lose by just sending her a message? I have zero chance if I do nothing. I'm still wondering if it's better to utilize the connection I have between her and my cousin and let my cousin send a message on my behalf. I suspect the chances of a reply would be greater.
smackie9 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I have guys message me on FB over the years. I never respond to them if I don't know them. I had a bad experience where someone on my friends FB made a friends request so I added them...then he later proceeded to hit on me. Not cool!
TheNextLawyer Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 One or two hot girls have added me on Facebook *first* perhaps just for an ego boost and to stand out over other girls they mingle with.
Author Superman2024 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 I have guys message me on FB over the years. I never respond to them if I don't know them. I had a bad experience where someone on my friends FB made a friends request so I added them...then he later proceeded to hit on me. Not cool! What are these guys saying in their messages? If a guy messaged you and you liked their picture and what they said would that make any difference?
smackie9 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Example: Hi I think I remember you from school, you are cute (even tho my status is "In a relationship) I like your pic, don't I know you? If I don't know you but you are on my friend's list I ask my friend what the deal is and why they want to add me or why would they message me...then I let my friend handle it if it is not appropriate. Like I said if I don't know you I don't respond or add you period, and it doesn't matter how good looking or whatever. IMO you have no business contacting me if you don't even know me. And I'm sure there are others who feel the same way. You have to protect yourself from things like catfishing, and friend requests that have links to viruses. It's no different that some random guy hitting on my at the grocery store or at the gas pump. Don't know you, stay away from me.
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