Black Cement Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Today they wanted to talk to me, said that they've been going out behind my back, they really like each other & are going to start a relationship. Said they don't want anything bad to happen and asked me how do I feel. I said "you do what you want." That's all I said and walked away. Its not surprising to me, because ppl warned me about her, thats shes unloyal and is desperate. I don't know how to feel about this, I know i'm suppose to be hurt but I've been through so many bad relationships in over the years I feel jaded & numb. Now I'm feeling that I can't find a trustworthy, good woman.
mightycpa Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Yeah, that's pretty low. How long do you have to live there? Next time you see them, maybe you could tell them that you've been thinking about it, and tell them you think it would be a good idea if you guys split her. You get M,W,F and your roommate gets the other days, and she can rest on Sunday. 1
y993 Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 That is a terrible situation. The only consolation that you have here is that the truth has been laid out for you. There actions will never be justified and the reason ''We really like each other'' is just never good enough. They will always have to live with the fact that their relationship started with them breaking your heart and what sort of foundations are those for a relationship. They have just found the ''honeymoon'' period. That never lasts forever. After having a girlfriend who technically left me for someone else I also know the feeling of losing all trust. I even lost all trust in everyone I know and began thinking that strangers would be more truthful! The one regret I have, is how I acted after she broke up. She wanted to remain friends and I begged and pleaded for to reconsider. Looking back I should have just cut all ties instantly. Either she wanted to be with me in a relationship or she didn't, I am not going to be her friend while she dates the guy she left me for. She wanted a breakup and that is damn well what she should have got. I felt like such a doormat after I came to the point of realisation. All you can do now is acknowledge how you really feel (even if it is negative thoughts), just let it come and you will realise that these ruminations just come and go. Anger however is another story and honestly in my opinion that never really leaves, at least that is the case with me. 2
SoThatHappened Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Yeah, that's pretty low. How long do you have to live there? Next time you see them, maybe you could tell them that you've been thinking about it, and tell them you think it would be a good idea if you guys split her. You get M,W,F and your roommate gets the other days, and she can rest on Sunday. Sounds like they may have already been doing that, unbeknownst to Black Cement. Sorry... that wasn't very tasteful, but hopefully it will make you see that what she did is pretty disgusting. Do whatever you can to get out of that situation as fast and as professionally as you possibly can. That's a really sucky situation. Sorry man.
mightycpa Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Sounds like they may have already been doing that, unbeknownst to Black Cement. Ah, you picked up on that. Good eye. I guess you've been to this rodeo before... But I was hoping BC would discover the hidden gold nugget of truth in my suggestion. 1
Author Black Cement Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 That is a terrible situation. The only consolation that you have here is that the truth has been laid out for you. There actions will never be justified and the reason ''We really like each other'' is just never good enough. They will always have to live with the fact that their relationship started with them breaking your heart and what sort of foundations are those for a relationship. They have just found the ''honeymoon'' period. That never lasts forever. After having a girlfriend who technically left me for someone else I also know the feeling of losing all trust. I even lost all trust in everyone I know and began thinking that strangers would be more truthful! The one regret I have, is how I acted after she broke up. She wanted to remain friends and I begged and pleaded for to reconsider. Looking back I should have just cut all ties instantly. Either she wanted to be with me in a relationship or she didn't, I am not going to be her friend while she dates the guy she left me for. She wanted a breakup and that is damn well what she should have got. I felt like such a doormat after I came to the point of realisation. All you can do now is acknowledge how you really feel (even if it is negative thoughts), just let it come and you will realise that these ruminations just come and go. Anger however is another story and honestly in my opinion that never really leaves, at least that is the case with me. I'm going to text her how I really feel then. I'll just cut all ties and when I see them, I'll just keep to myself. You should have seen the looks on their faces, so guilty. I acted indifferent. I'm more angry at myself, seems like I'm not a good BF if this happened to me twice in a year.
Author Black Cement Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 Yeah, that's pretty low. How long do you have to live there? Next time you see them, maybe you could tell them that you've been thinking about it, and tell them you think it would be a good idea if you guys split her. You get M,W,F and your roommate gets the other days, and she can rest on Sunday. Nah, I'm done with her. I don't want to be with a fickle, loose girl like her anyways. I want that one perfect girl. Someone I hella deserve. 2
mightycpa Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 I'm going to text her how I really feel then. I'll just cut all ties and when I see them, I'll just keep to myself. You should have seen the looks on their faces, so guilty. I acted indifferent. I'm more angry at myself, seems like I'm not a good BF if this happened to me twice in a year. Well, you can't really help who you like romantically. But there is a guy code, and the proper way to do it is for the girl to drop you in a way that makes you glad you're rid of her, then you don't mind if the roommate swoops in. That said, it may be true that you're not a good boyfriend. We don't know. If you're young, no doubt you make mistakes. Just learn from them, but don't assume that it is all you. If this is happening to you repeatedly, then maybe you're hanging out with the wrong kind of crowd. Just food for thought.
Author Black Cement Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 Well, you can't really help who you like romantically. But there is a guy code, and the proper way to do it is for the girl to drop you in a way that makes you glad you're rid of her, then you don't mind if the roommate swoops in. That said, it may be true that you're not a good boyfriend. We don't know. If you're young, no doubt you make mistakes. Just learn from them, but don't assume that it is all you. If this is happening to you repeatedly, then maybe you're hanging out with the wrong kind of crowd. Just food for thought. What's the guy code goal? Win her back? I am young, I'm still learning. I'm sort of the chill guy, the girls I'm with are the popular girls, who party & club every weekend. I need to find a girl who is more compatible.
mightycpa Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 What's the guy code goal? To not **** each other over like he did you. That's the code. 2
SoThatHappened Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Kick the **** out of him. That will accomplish 2 things: 1. He has it coming (I'm with mightycpa on the code) 2. It will show her she left the real man Then find a girl you're more compatible with. If you can pull off the popular girls, that probably means you're attractive. You won't have trouble picking the right one as you date whoever you want. I'm sort of kidding about kicking his a$$... I don't want to get banned from here!
Author Black Cement Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 Kick the **** out of him. That will accomplish 2 things: 1. He has it coming (I'm with mightycpa on the code) 2. It will show her she left the real man Then find a girl you're more compatible with. If you can pull off the popular girls, that probably means you're attractive. You won't have trouble picking the right one as you date whoever you want. I'm sort of kidding about kicking his a$$... I don't want to get banned from here! It's not worth it, to fight. I'd do that for my other ex, because she was the one who got away, & I hate the guy she left me for. lol. I guess I'm attractive, Girls tell me that all the time. It's just I need to find the right one. I've dated 4 girls in the past year, and they are all unloyal sl*ts 1
Chi townD Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 I guess I'm attractive, Girls tell me that all the time. It's just I need to find the right one. I've dated 4 girls in the past year, and they are all unloyal sl*ts Yep! That should tell ya something. Time to stop chasing after the popular party girls. Not working out for you. 1
No Limit Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 You definitely need to change your attraction pattern when all you got so far were cheating girls with smaller self-confidence than a worm. Sure, they're the easiest to get into bed with, but you shouldn't emotionally invest in them. And your ex and that guy, screw them. Just ignore them and yeah, cut all ties. Can you move out of your room by the way?
Author Black Cement Posted August 29, 2014 Author Posted August 29, 2014 So she's over right now, & I'm getting high in my room. She knocks on my door and asks to talk. We talked about how I think its all messed up. She said she doesn't want to come between us, so she won't go with it. She said that she was with me first, but I lost interest in her over time. I told her do what you want, and she got mad then hit me. She also said "I know you we're hurt in your last relationship, so I'm going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt anybody. Goodnight, see you in the morning." WTF? I'm confused. I just had to get high before I talked to her.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 So she's over right now, & I'm getting high in my room. She knocks on my door and asks to talk. We talked about how I think its all messed up. She said she doesn't want to come between us, so she won't go with it. She said that she was with me first, but I lost interest in her over time. I told her do what you want, and she got mad then hit me. She also said "I know you we're hurt in your last relationship, so I'm going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt anybody. Goodnight, see you in the morning." WTF? I'm confused. I just had to get high before I talked to her. She wanted a reaction from you. She wanted you to be all upset, cry after her, yada yada, She didnt, so now she feels hurt. She will probably start trying to rub s*** in your face. You are doing EXACTLY what you need to be doing...but ignore her. No reason to talk to her. She wants drama....dont give it to her. Be mature and grown up. Dont sink to her immature level. 1
Author Black Cement Posted August 29, 2014 Author Posted August 29, 2014 She wanted a reaction from you. She wanted you to be all upset, cry after her, yada yada, She didnt, so now she feels hurt. She will probably start trying to rub s*** in your face. You are doing EXACTLY what you need to be doing...but ignore her. No reason to talk to her. She wants drama....dont give it to her. Be mature and grown up. Dont sink to her immature level. LOL, she was getting mad because I wasn't expressing my feelings. She said "Arn't you pissed? Hurt?" Then kept hitting me when I said "A little hurt. Its whatever, I'll be happy for you. I'm not going to force you to come back, do what you want." So I let her go, then she wants me back? I've been feeling like a free agent all day, excited for all the new girls I could have, then she lays this down. Yet I kinda want her back now.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 (edited) LOL, she was getting mad because I wasn't expressing my feelings. She said "Arn't you pissed? Hurt?" Then kept hitting me when I said "A little hurt. Its whatever, I'll be happy for you. I'm not going to force you to come back, do what you want." So I let her go, then she wants me back? I've been feeling like a free agent all day, excited for all the new girls I could have, then she lays this down. Yet I kinda want her back now. Why? She proved she isn't trustworthy and doesn't really give a damn about your feelings (she went for your friend - really?!)She doesn't want you back because she's in love - she wants you back because it hurt her precious little ego that you let her walk. She will do it again. Not to mention, she's clearly quite immature. Mature, reasonable adults do go around hitting other people when they are upset. She sounds about 16. Ugh. You are above this chick. She isn't a quality girl. Edited August 29, 2014 by ExpatInItaly
Requiem4Dreams Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 she was getting mad because I wasn't expressing my feelings. She said "Arn't you pissed? Hurt?" Then kept hitting me when I said "A little hurt. Its whatever, I'll be happy for you. I'm not going to force you to come back, do what you want." So I let her go, then she wants me back? I've been feeling like a free agent all day, excited for all the new girls I could have, then she lays this down. Yet I kinda want her back now. I've noticed a trend, that people want what they can't have. You made it clear to her that you couldn't give a damn what she does, and in response she tries to patch things up with you. Why do you care whether she wants you back now? She went behind your back to be with your roommate. Any woman that could be that easily swayed to break the trust you have in her isn't worth a damned thing. Cut the cord, and tell her to pound sand. You deserve a better partner that you actually can trust. If you take her back you'll always be questioning when she does it again, because trust me on this. She WILL do it again. Just introduce someone new and shiny and watch her go.
Chi townD Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 So she's over right now, & I'm getting high in my room. She knocks on my door and asks to talk. We talked about how I think its all messed up. She said she doesn't want to come between us, so she won't go with it. She said that she was with me first, but I lost interest in her over time. I told her do what you want, and she got mad then hit me. She also said "I know you we're hurt in your last relationship, so I'm going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt anybody. Goodnight, see you in the morning." WTF? I'm confused. I just had to get high before I talked to her. Were you high when you wrote the bold? Because, that doesn't make any sense. Do you want to clarify that?
No Limit Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Don't take her back. Girls like that are like nervous barking chihuahuas running from one floor to the other for attention.
Author Black Cement Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 Were you high when you wrote the bold? Because, that doesn't make any sense. Do you want to clarify that? I would clarify that, but thats what exactly she said. I came here for answers.
Author Black Cement Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 I love bad b*tches, that's my f*ckin' problem. 1
Chi townD Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 So, she knows that you were hurt in your last relationship. So, now she's going to hurt you. But, she's not going to hurt anyone? That's an oxymoron in itself. Unless she told you that she was going to hurt you by going to your friend and roomates bed that night instead of yours and she'll see you in the morning after she had her fun. Did she also suggest you get earplugs just incase that you may hear something that maybe you shouldn't? I'm starting to think that we're chasing bunnies here. I have a hard time believing someone can be so nonchalant about knowing the girl you loved and cared about is f*cking your friend under the same roof and on the other side of your wall. 1
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