isisisweeping Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Again... she said that she had never orgasmed during sex BEFORE we were intimate, as if she were unable to do so. Which indicates that she was not faking it in the video. The only possible other is if you are extremely small and she was saying it pre-emptively after seeing that worried that she wouldn't and it would hurt your feelings... But that's a lot of assuming to get to a conclusion that's not really based on solid evidence. 1
Author c-o-n-confused Posted August 30, 2014 Author Posted August 30, 2014 Hm? You said: Okay, so AFTER you were intimate, she still never had an orgasm? No, she hasn't. She claims to have never had an orgasm through sex in her life. Which is why it is odd that she would say so, when the evidence suggests otherwise.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 Ever think that maybe she was putting on a show specifically because she was having it recorded? Exactly. You still haven't explained why you were snooping into her private files.
Million.to.1 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 I think that she just can't orgasm from straight sex. If she can acheive through mastabation, then she would know how to fake it and maybe used to fake it with other partners. (and for home movies) ...And maybe doing that just led to problems/mistrust in her relationships and she doesn't want to do that anymore....and doesn't want some guy to make it his personal mission to be the ONE guy that does as that tends to be thing in itself. It sucks to get into a pattern of faking. I really want to know how you came to find these videos though...
Mopparon Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 No, she hasn't. She claims to have never had an orgasm through sex in her life. Which is why it is odd that she would say so, when the evidence suggests otherwise. Not that odd really. If she really did have an orgasm previously and she was having one in those videos (a pretty big if I think)... then I would say she almost certainly told a white lie, and said that she has never been able to have an orgasm, in order to make you feel better. If (as you said) she's never been able to reach orgasm when being intimate with you, she probably thinks that makes you feel bad, and that maybe you wouldn't feel quite as bad if she told a white lie and said she never had been able to reach orgasm (hence it wasn't just being intimate with you that didn't rock her world, because her world has never been rocked and was likely unrockable)
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 My 33-year-old girlfriend of several months told me before we became intimate that she had never had an orgasm through sexual stimulation, and was only able to climax via masturbation. We have sex daily, and she has not climaxed once. I recently accessed some videos on her computer from several years ago of her being intimate with an ex-lover, and in all four instances, she clearly had an orgasm each time. (I am aware of "faking it," but in this case, the signs are unmistakable.) I am confused as to why a woman would falsely say that she had never had an orgasm before! Why the ^&%$ are you watching videos of her having sex with an old lover? 1
Poppygoodwill Posted August 30, 2014 Posted August 30, 2014 You're bad for snooping and watching those tapes and - surprise!! - you got just what you deserved: seeing something you can't now unsee and it's eating away at you. I don't know whether she's lying to you, or she lied to the other guy, Mr. Movie Man. But who cares? What you should focus on here is that the woman you are in a relationship with is having sex with you daily AND NOT GETTING ANY SATISFACTION!! if she gets off by masturbating, then invite that into what you do. Encourage her to touch herself as you make love. Check your ego at the door and don't make it about you being capable or not, or skillful enough to make her happy. Just let her do what works for her. Otherwise you might find another guy down the road watching tapes of you, the latest ex-bf.
Author c-o-n-confused Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 I confronted her about the videos, and of course the response was "I was faking it". 1
mightycpa Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 I confronted her about the videos, and of course the response was "I was faking it". Time to ask her my question: Why haven't you faked it for me?
Ruby Slippers Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 Time to ask her my question: Why haven't you faked it for me? Maybe because she cares about him and wants to be honest and real with him? Hopefully by now you've learned it's not good to snoop into your partner's private files. Now you can get past that and get to the important part: how can you make her come like a runaway train? Have you asked her what would give her more pleasure and make her come, what she would like you to do to drive her wild in bed?
FitChick Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 OP should try to give his girlfriend an orgasm without intercourse. Start by giving a good erotic massage. Go online as I'm sure there are loads of videos you can learn from, especially ones made by and for lesbians and not for male titillation.
Author c-o-n-confused Posted October 16, 2014 Author Posted October 16, 2014 OP here. I was off about the sequence of events. After our first weekend of sex, I asked if she "came" when we were intimate, and she said, "No, but to be fair, no guy has ever given me an orgasm. My gyno knows this and says it's no big deal since I can do it myself." Again, in the four videos, she seems to have an orgasm each time. Contractions, shortness of breath, gasping, grabbing on to something, slight twitching, pushing him away because of the sensitivity. And in one video, she says, "I'm gonna cum"... then appears to.
Emilia Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Again, in the four videos, she seems to have an orgasm each time. Contractions, shortness of breath, gasping, grabbing on to something, slight twitching, pushing him away because of the sensitivity. And in one video, she says, "I'm gonna cum"... then appears to. Bwahahahaha test case of faking it. You have trust issues OP, nothing to do with your girlfriend. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I am going to let you into a secret... Women like their other halves to feel good about themselves. Sometimes we fake our orgasms because we are not going to get there and we want our lover to know we have enjoyed ourselves... I can even do the walls contracting thing... thats just having good PC muscles... Sometimes when we really like someone and we want them to know how special they are to us we tell them that they are the best lover ever and we will tell them little white lies about how no one has ever ever made us feel that way before because we want them to feel special and we want them to know how much we value them... Now thanking God that the tape was broken and all others deleted... I think I would physically vomit if a new partner saw some of the things I got up to with my exes... Stuff like that tends to be for very personal use. I.E. participant viewing only. How on earth did you see it??? FWIW - I have faked regularly with new partners, they have been on the right track and I want to encourage more of the same because its fantastic but it takes a while for my brain to engage with someone new as well as my body and the big O is not going to happen with out the brains involvement... For me its not going to happen for some time anyway so I don't want the poor bloke to think he is doing something wrong... I have also faked because I know my brain is not engaged I know they are hanging in there for me but I know that no matter what they do its not going to happen today... Why should I ruin their enjoyment because I am too tense to relax at that moment???
Brooke02 Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 i am going to let you into a secret... Women like their other halves to feel good about themselves. Sometimes we fake our orgasms because we are not going to get there and we want our lover to know we have enjoyed ourselves... I can even do the walls contracting thing... Thats just having good pc muscles... Sometimes when we really like someone and we want them to know how special they are to us we tell them that they are the best lover ever and we will tell them little white lies about how no one has ever ever made us feel that way before because we want them to feel special and we want them to know how much we value them... Now thanking god that the tape was broken and all others deleted... I think i would physically vomit if a new partner saw some of the things i got up to with my exes... Stuff like that tends to be for very personal use. I.e. Participant viewing only. How on earth did you see it??? Fwiw - i have faked regularly with new partners, they have been on the right track and i want to encourage more of the same because its fantastic but it takes a while for my brain to engage with someone new as well as my body and the big o is not going to happen with out the brains involvement... For me its not going to happen for some time anyway so i don't want the poor bloke to think he is doing something wrong... I have also faked because i know my brain is not engaged i know they are hanging in there for me but i know that no matter what they do its not going to happen today... Why should i ruin their enjoyment because i am too tense to relax at that moment??? exactly!!!...
singsparkles Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 My 33-year-old girlfriend of several months told me before we became intimate that she had never had an orgasm through sexual stimulation, and was only able to climax via masturbation. We have sex daily, and she has not climaxed once. I recently accessed some videos on her computer from several years ago of her being intimate with an ex-lover, and in all four instances, she clearly had an orgasm each time. (I am aware of "faking it," but in this case, the signs are unmistakable.) I am confused as to why a woman would falsely say that she had never had an orgasm before! Ehhh. weird (about finding those videos) ....well the one thing I can say is you guys haven't been together for that long... and as a woman, I know woman need to be relaxed to have an orgasm. and for some women, it takes months of knowing a man to be able to orgasm with him... atleast for me, and I know a lot of my girlfriends have the same problem. Maybe she was with this other dude for a lot longer and at a comfort level... I say don't take it to heart and give it time... she may not feel exactly at ease with you yet. Eventually she will become her true self in the bedroom as time goes by and be able to relax and be herself and have an orgasm. Just from my point of view... I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all.
singsparkles Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I confronted her about the videos, and of course the response was "I was faking it". Truly... she really could have been faking it in the video, too. One of my friends cannot orgasm with a guy and can only orgasm when she's alone by herself, and she's become a pro orgasm faker... Women are very, very intricate to say the least. We're like a rubik's cube and hard to figure out.
ComingInHot Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 Why the ^&%$ are you watching videos of her having sex with an old lover? 4 videos to be exact. ...and yep. I was wondering the same thing. I just can't seem to get past that part. OP have you ASKED her why she has 4 (count them...) porn vids of her and an exLover? Might explain some things at least*
MalachiX Posted October 16, 2014 Posted October 16, 2014 I also can't quite get passed the whole thing about you going through her computer and watching old videos of her having sex. Did she given them to you as some kind of excitement thing or did you do this without her knowing? Also, like others, I'm a bit curious why she still has those vids. These seem to be two issues you're desperate not to answer in your subsequent posts but they both may be indicative of a much bigger issue than faking (or not faking) an orgasm. As for orgasms themselves, I just kinda assume that partners lie to each other so their signifigant other feels better about him/herself. I've had more than one girl tell me she had never had an orgasm through sex before she met me, or had never had one from oral before she met me, or had never been with someone as "big" as me. Maybe it's true and maybe they're just trying to make me feel good. I don't spend a lot of time obsessing over it because it doesn't really matter. If we're having trouble in our sex life, I'd much rather spend energy trying to fix that trouble then worrying about how I stacked up to previous lovers. Everyone tells white lies. It's a part of relationships. Women do it and men do it to. Havn't you ever been asked, "Does this make me look fat?" I assume, if so, you didn't answer, "yeah, that makes your ass look gigantic!" Sometimes we tell each other white lies in service of a greater truth which is that we love one another and want the other person to feel secure. OR...she could have been faking it. I've never been so smug as to claim, "I can tell" when I'm having sex with someone so I sure as hell wouldn't be able to tell from a home-video. Go watch the scene from When Harry Met Sally and feel better about yourself
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