CrystalCastles Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Hey all, So my boyfriend's birthday is coming up in a month and mine in two weeks. I asked him to not get me anything (I really don't need anything). He also asked me not to get anything for him either. But I want to. He will be in Brazil when his birthday comes around, and I was thinking of getting him some tea and his favourite chocolate, and I want to draw him a picture because he thinks I'm a good artist and he really likes my art. And send it all in a package. But I'll be doing something he asked me not to do. I know most people would just be happy but I'm worried that he will feel like he didn't spend money on me and I spent money on him and I'm not sure if that will upset him. He's a bit weird about money sometimes. I'm probably just being silly but thought I should check.
Supernatural Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 If my girlfriend got pissed that I drew her a picture, got her some chocolate and tea on her birthday, even though she didn't want gifts... I would know RIGHT THEN.. We were a successful first world couple. . . . . . . . . . . . If i had a girlfriend.....
Lani Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Why don't you wait and see if he gets you anything first? If he breaks the rules then you should too. But if you want to break them anyway then go for it. He'll feel bad that he didn't get you anything, but just reassure him you didn't expect him to. It's not a major gift you're planning so I doubt it'll cause issues.
Els Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 But I'll be doing something he asked me not to do. I know most people would just be happy but I'm worried that he will feel like he didn't spend money on me and I spent money on him and I'm not sure if that will upset him. He's a bit weird about money sometimes. If he's THAT weird about money then you could just send him the picture, as it's all effort and thought, no money. But honestly, unless you're getting boutique chocolate and Harney & Sons tea... the gift is likely to add up to $10? I know you're both students, but most reasonable people wouldn't throw a fuss about $10. You can also assure him that you really don't need anything in return (but make sure you mean it).
d0nnivain Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 I hate it when people say don't get me anything. It's fun to shower people you love with gifts even if they don't need anything. I think your idea is OK unless your BF honors your wish & gets you nothing. Then by violating his wish after he honored yours, you will make him feel like a cheap SOB. Why would you want to undermine him like that? Instead, perhaps calculate the costs of what you want to spend & suggest that as a cap. Confess that you have been thinking & you want to get him something even though you really don't care if he gets you anything. 1
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 29, 2014 Author Posted August 29, 2014 @lani and donnivain- that's what I was unsure about. That I'm breaking the rules and he will feel bad that he didn't get me anything because I asked and I went ahead and did my own thing anyways for his birthday... @els- the gift is probably going to be 20$. And I don't care if it is, 20$ is nothing. And yes I mean it completely when I say I don't want anything. I know the response, I don't want anything, is annoying to some people, but I have everything, I am a very low maintenance person and my patience quota for celebrations is already exhausted by my parents who don't take no for an answer and bother me until I tell them something that isn't a no. So I don't want to deal with that from my bf too. I was hoping to make this a surprise. Which is why I haven't told him anything. But if he's going to be upset about it then I should probably tell him.
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