Reason behind this type of attraction?

[Th4tDude]

Hey everybody,

 

Lately I realized that when it comes to those I'm attracted to, they seem to be split into different categories. Now I don't mean to do this consciously, rather it just happens in my mind.

 

I tend to be sexually attracted to darker women (Latinas(mestizo kind), African Americans, South East Asians,etc). These women get me excited and I would love to take them to bed right in that moment. For some odd reason, them being a future SO doesn't come to mind as often.

 

However with lighter women(whites & east asians) I view as more cute and end up infatuated, picturing them as a future partner. Thing is, I don't really think too much about sex with them, rather like looking at their cute face and getting the urge to cuddle them or light kissing. Now once I do get to know them in a relationship, then I develop a stronger sexual attraction.

 

This of course doesn't apply to everyone in those groups, I could think dark girls are cute and light ones as sexy but for the most part it's what I described above. Another thing is that I'm dark myself(Latino), so one would think that I'd be sexually attracted more to lighter women and emotionally attracted to ones who more resemble me, not the other way around.

 

Do you think there's a reason for this attraction pattern of mine?

 

I'm grateful for all your contributions

[preraph]

It may be some variance on the madonna/whore syndrome where you don't want to marry the ones who you view as liking sex and being sexy. If so, work on that. Now, of course taste can change, but meanwhile, you need to really examine why you're rejecting these darker women as serious mates. Set out your standards on paper for the attributes (nonphysical) of a woman you'd consider marrying and start having a good look at these women you're rejecting and see if there is a real reason for it (not being responsible, not having money) or if you have some residual stereotypes affixed to them. I'm not ragging on you. I give you credit for at least being open minded when it comes to the attraction because most people have some limitations on that. Just be sure you're not making any assumptions about them (or the light-skinned ones for that matter) that aren't true upon further examination. True, there can be cultural obstacles, whether it's religion or relatives, but there's exceptions to everything.

[Th4tDude]

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I apologize that this is going to be a long reply

 

I'll give some info on my interaction with each kind of woman

 

Latina - Pretty much all my life I've been thought of as very "americanized" and that I didn't "look or act latino" enough(I look native american). Many of the hispanic women I'm attracted to are children of immigrants, so they still have close connection to their roots and they tend to be the type that you see hanging out at the mall alot haha(you could say they're "chicano" girls). I wasn't really raised in a "mexican" environment except when I visit my maternal grandparents. Whenever I've tried to date mex-american girls, they would always give me flack for not being as in touch with the culture and not knowing spanish. Also, the girls I find attractive usually have completely different interests than I do(what they call white people stuff ). As a result of this difference in mentality, I never really had any hispanic friends while growing up, so being around them feels weird since I feel like I need to live up to "hispanic expectations". Plus I get self conscious thinking how if I were to do something long term with them, their family would shame me for not keeping close ties to the culture, let alone not being able to communicate .

 

Black - This one is a mixed bag, while I do find their dark skin very alluring, I've had some bad experiences with many black women in my life. Throughout most of my school years, they were the ones who would be upfront about wanting to have sex with me even before getting to know me lol . However, I have dated a black girl, though to be honest she was a child of South African immigrants and didn't have much in common with african american culture yet she was "whitewashed". She was beautiful, smart and very classy, we only drifted apart due to distance from going to college. Point being, I'm okay with dating black women, though they need to be more "whitewashed" as one would say.

 

Asian - Now I haven't dated any asian women yet, though majority of my friends throughout school years have been east asian, so I feel more comfortable around them. Unlike black & latinas, I could easily talk with many of the asian girls I'm around since we seem to have similar temperaments and interests. That said, I would prefer if her family is americanized, the only thing I would be nervous about is if her family is still strongly associated with their culture and we end up being extremely different.

 

White - This is the funniest one, since I'm not around many white females, yet for some reason when we do meet, we tend to click. I'm not talking about your stereotypical party blonde, rather either geeky or religious girls(sometimes both). My past relationships with white women have been good for the most part because we could hold never ending conversations, be close emotionally, I never had to worry about "acting my culture". What I've noticed as well is that white and asian women are the ones who seem to be most attracted to me, if a latina or black woman does show interest(which is rare) it's usually that they're americanized/whitewashed themselves.

 

What's kind of odd is that the only latinas who really show romantic interest in me and not just wanting quick sex are the lighter featured ones(who look more european), where the girls I'm more sexually attracted to are the ones who look mixed between native and european.

Edited August 28, 2014 by Th4tDude