Stargirl66 Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 My boyfriend ended our relationship after 2 and a half years, we have known each other for 6 years and had some on and off thing going on at the start but after a few months of no contact he tracked me down and begged me to give us a chance properly which I did despite the fact I wasn't 100% sure I could trust him but I gave him a chance because there was always something about him that made me believe i was meant to be with him and we were together for 2 and half years and the trust came back and he done his upmost to prove me at the start he was the real deal and before i knew it We were madly in love. we are both in our 20s. We planned a future and spoke about marriage and children all the time and he even asked me if I would consider moving abroad to live with him. We had our ups and downs like everyone but overall we had a great relationship and a connection so strong I cannot explain. We both got on great with each others friends and families and I believed we were happy but the last few months of our relationship was tough, I believe he started to suffer from depression due to work problems and it became almost impossible to be with him because he would shut me out and wouldn't let me support and be there for him, he always says he feels like he needs to deal with these things on his own but he became so unpredicable, so hopeless and we would constantly argue becuase he was so negative about life and everytime i tried to be positive he would not listen but i was more willing to stick by him cos thats what love is about right? so a few weeks ago we had plans and he let me down and like any normal girl I was annoyed and when I told him he erupted and ended things saying he did not want a relationship, Not normal reaction in my opinion.. So after he calmed down he change his tune but I was soo hurt I felt I had no choice but to make sure things stayed ended.. I don't think u can treat people that way and just end it whenever u feel like.. Eventually we done the exchanging of belongings but he is still adamant that he loves me and wants to be with me but he feels like it won't work cause there's too much damage done and he says he doesn't want to take all his moods on me and drag me down. I am completely heartbroken and I miss him terribly. I feel worse because he says he still loves me but I feel like he gave up on us without a fight. And on the other hand i think to myself if he loved me why would he do this? But im confused also cos if he does have a bit of depression then he isnt gonna be thinking rationally. We are not in contact and its awful but I know it's the best thing having no contact to get over heartache. Anyone any advice please? Sorry for the novel but it feels great to get it all out. Thanks guys:)
y993 Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 My boyfriend ended our relationship after 2 and a half years, we have known each other for 6 years and had some on and off thing going on at the start but after a few months of no contact he tracked me down and begged me to give us a chance properly which I did despite the fact I wasn't 100% sure I could trust him but I gave him a chance because there was always something about him that made me believe i was meant to be with him and we were together for 2 and half years and the trust came back and he done his upmost to prove me at the start he was the real deal and before i knew it We were madly in love. we are both in our 20s. We planned a future and spoke about marriage and children all the time and he even asked me if I would consider moving abroad to live with him. We had our ups and downs like everyone but overall we had a great relationship and a connection so strong I cannot explain. We both got on great with each others friends and families and I believed we were happy but the last few months of our relationship was tough, I believe he started to suffer from depression due to work problems and it became almost impossible to be with him because he would shut me out and wouldn't let me support and be there for him, he always says he feels like he needs to deal with these things on his own but he became so unpredicable, so hopeless and we would constantly argue becuase he was so negative about life and everytime i tried to be positive he would not listen but i was more willing to stick by him cos thats what love is about right? so a few weeks ago we had plans and he let me down and like any normal girl I was annoyed and when I told him he erupted and ended things saying he did not want a relationship, Not normal reaction in my opinion.. So after he calmed down he change his tune but I was soo hurt I felt I had no choice but to make sure things stayed ended.. I don't think u can treat people that way and just end it whenever u feel like.. Eventually we done the exchanging of belongings but he is still adamant that he loves me and wants to be with me but he feels like it won't work cause there's too much damage done and he says he doesn't want to take all his moods on me and drag me down. I am completely heartbroken and I miss him terribly. I feel worse because he says he still loves me but I feel like he gave up on us without a fight. And on the other hand i think to myself if he loved me why would he do this? But im confused also cos if he does have a bit of depression then he isnt gonna be thinking rationally. We are not in contact and its awful but I know it's the best thing having no contact to get over heartache. Anyone any advice please? Sorry for the novel but it feels great to get it all out. Thanks guys:) Well that is quite a situation, I was with my girlfriend for two and a half years until she broke up with me back in December. We were talking about the future and everything and then bang on an impulse she ends it! I carried on speaking to her for a while (She wanted to remain friends), but in April it was too much for me to handle and I blocked all contact. There is only so far I will go, but when she constantly acts like nothing happens and expects me to do the same that is where I draw the line. I knew her 8yrs and we were together for 2yrs and a half in a full on relationship. For her to just end it like that was the most heart wrenching thing that I ever experienced! The fact of the matter is that it is your decision whether you go back to him or not, as you are the one that made sure ''things stayed ended''. If you want to reverse that then you can. The good thing is that you acknowledge that you had your ups and downs, so you can look at things from a realistic point of view, which is something that my ex girlfriend would never do. Once something bad would happen she would lose sight of everything that is/was good. I think the issue here is the depression. Everyone will go through it at some point, but it is a minefield for those that are trying to support you. The key word is trying, that is when things begin to get heated. The thing that you should do is let them know you are there for them, however never force someone to open up or talk about it. If someone would even ask me about a situation they knew was hard for me, that is it, the fact they pushed me or asked me about it was the deciding factor for not telling them and the ironic thing is I wouldn't even mind telling them. If he wanted to talk about it he would, even if he kept it to himself, he would eventually open up to you bit by bit. Guys also sometimes have to much pride to go down that road though, but that is a whole other issue. Also the issue about ''being positive''. Was this doing as you both always did look in to the future or was it being positive to try and lift his mood, because if it is the latter then he could obviously tell what you were doing and that is what led to the heated exchanges which can then lead to completely unrelated topics. I daily think if my ex called me to ask to get back together with what would I say. The main thought that is there though is, given all the crap that she said when she ended it and afterwards and the way she acted, I have absolutely zero trust in her. So what is a relationship without trust? It is not something that I imagine to be fun. If you are considering getting back with him you have got to think what are your feelings to the whole situation. Because for the relationship to work you have got to get past them or find a way to live them happily. My main issue is I can never let go of anger and then this can sometimes prevent you from moving forward. Also does your ex understand why you ended it and more importantly why you fell like you do in this moment in time. If you genuinely think that you can be with him through all these mood swings and low periods then you can consider talking things out with him. But if your emotions are still raw and YOU are not thinking rationally and your negative emotions are doing the thinking for you, then I would wait until you figure things out with yourself before you even think about talking things out with him. Feelings, whether they are good or bad never die. So there will be a eureka moment in reference to this whole thing and then you will know what your next step will be. If you are not ready to talk to him when you guys speak then you guys will just have more heated arguments and there will just be more emotions running high.
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