blue_jay_bird Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 I'v always been the peace maker, I don't rock the boat, I say no problem and for sure. Basically I set the bar low, and any di ck head can step over it. I recognize this. I want to change this. Example; I when on a double date with my current boyfriend and his friend. I'v been dating him for two months. We go to a bar, the guy on the other date buys us all beers (trying to make a good impression, it worked) . By then its laughter jokes, we each order a beer, the check come's and I pull out my card and pay for me and my boyfriends beer. The subway is closed we cab back, I pull out my card and pay. I pull out my card and pay more then he does. He doesn't even try to plan dates. How to I express and tell him my disappointment. What are the words I can say, without making him upset? Im really I'm not used to this behaviour.
PegNosePete Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 What are the words I can say, without making him upset? "I got the beers. You can get the cab". Or, "I got the beers last week. Your turn.". If he gets upset at that then "I don't think we are very well suitable for each other. Goodbye". 1
preraph Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 Givers will only attract takers. I know it comes from a good place in your heart, but that doesn't mean it will be a good trait for you to have. If you want to enjoy the feeling of giving, give your time or money to people or animals who really need and appreciate it, charity. If you don't make those in your life do their part, you'll have a lifetime of losers and takers and that will include children when you eventually have them. You won't get them to be responsible adults doing things that way and they'll be living in your basement watching football with your deadbeat husband until you die and then they'll both be on the street. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 Did you even give him a few minutes to offer to pay? By now you may have him trained to expect you to pay. PegNosePete's suggestions were the way to handle this
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 27, 2014 Author Posted August 27, 2014 I'v always do the offer pull out my card and pay and the guy jumps in and says.. 'no thats okay, i'v got this'. Waiting for him to pay is like telling him to pay. And yes PegNosePete, it's plain and simple. I guess the deeper question is, should you date someone with the idea of training them. I feel like Ivan Pavlov. Shouldn't these things be second nature by now. Shouldn't I just move on and date someone that know's these things.
Recommended Posts