Will my friend ever get the girl?

[Tik]

Bit of self reflection for the night...

I've watched a friend over this last year and am trying to figure out if how he is going.

 

He's your typical college football jock type bloke fallen head over heels for a girl in our class. It's been about a year now that he has been pursuing this girl. They're inseparable in most due to his part in latching onto her; heck that is how he joined our social group. In lectures they sit together regardless of whom is around. He's waited for her after lab classes even though she has walked off with friends. He's picked up her dogs poo on walks together. They spend time together out of university. YET whenever they spend time together, another girl or guy is always present. I have not heard of those two doing anything romantic.

 

At a party one night while everyone was dancing, I watched as his girl danced with every other guy (including me), grinding and having fun as he was just hovering around. He tried to pucker up to her a few times that night and she simply gave him the 'eww, no thanks' look. Even her friends (including us) are trying to put in a good word for him but she simply disregards it with a 'but it would be weird if I got with him'. Whenever we ask him, he tells us he is close and almost there.

 

Now I don't know him well enough that I could pull him a side and give him an intervention so I guess me and all his friends can only watch on patiently. He's the type that could pull any woman he wanted to. Atleast she has turned him into a studious student? Furthermore if he does end up getting the girl, has he not done what the rest of us never have the balls to do and that is in confidently pursueing a girl to the end?

 

So what do you guys think? Will he ever make it or is he doomed? I mean he hangs out with her ALOT so surely that counts for something?

 

My latest girl problems could have gone down this path. Yet I went no contact. It is that much of a temptation for me to initiate contact with her because I know she will respond instantly. Yet I look at my friend and promised myself, I'd never be like this again. I guess I ask this question because I have another friend who's succeeded in a sense after 8 months interested in a girl. Yet the difference here is he and the girl although messaging each other all the time, never hung out face to face a lot. He was even chasing after other woman while still keeping in contact with the girl he is now in a relationship with. Added I put in a good word for him and made this other girl realise he was 'the one'.

[preraph]

"It would be weird if I got with him" sounds like friendzone to me. He'll have to learn it the hard way, I guess. I bet if he had been aggressive in the beginning he might have had a better outcome. But who knows. Not everyone is at all attracted to football jocks. Me and my friends weren't at all. I assume she is if she's hanging out with your crowd though. I'd look at what kind of guys she seems to respond to if any and see if her type is just completely different or the same. If it's the same, he probably horsed around early on and got friendzoned because of it. Also, if he's a real football jock, she could be just letting him hang around because she might not otherwise be in that echelon at school.

[PegNosePete]

It does sound as though he is deep into the friend zone. Very unlikely he will ever be able to get out of there.

 

But it does sometimes happen, it happened to one guy I know so it's not impossible.

 

Just extremely, extremely unlikely.

[OwMyEyeball]

His best chance of making it will be by dropping the tag-along act, refocusing on his interests and genuinely pursuing other women.

 

His current approach will work entirely against him.

 

She's become a false idol. The sooner he realizes that his happiness and well-being are self-determined - i.e. not in the hands of anyone else - the sooner he'll be liberated from the delusions of desirous attachment.

[bluesgirl]

He is most definitely Friend Zoned! It's a crappy place to be in especially when you like someone that much but he is most definitely in it! It sounds like he will do anything for her...even picking up her dogs poop! That's too extreme! To be put in the friend zone she either doesn't find him attractive enough to want to pursue or there isn't enough sexual chemistry...or he is making it too known that she could easily have him and it's no fun for her.

 

She obviously likes his company and likes hanging out with him but there is just something in his personality or the way he carries himself that she doesn't find attractive. This happens to everyone and being friend zoned is the worst! But I think he just needs to move on

[Dork Vader]

Here is what I see.. She enjoys having him around and likely loves the attention and what he provides. The fact that she spends so much time with him shows she does care about him in a friend type of way. Unless she is insanely selfish and shallow (which I have doubts about).

 

 

He could continue on as is and some day her feelings for him might change. But that is going to require her viewing him differently.

 

 

The only way she'll view him differently is if something changes. Example he burns out walks away and the lights suddenly come on that she can't live with out him. She dates a douchebag really takes a deep look at what she wants in a man and sees him as that man.. Something a long those lines.

 

 

Depending on how long the "friendship" has lasted his best bet is to walk away. He'll either get a girl friend out of it OR nothing.. But he has to be confident and strong in this approach. He also has to understand she might not care..

 

 

I've only made it out of the friend zone a few times. Every single time it was because of alcohol or something changing.

[Assasda]

She doesnt like having him around.

Not false idol here- She is the idol - On the big pedestal to be worshiped.

 

She has no respect for your friend right now.

And if he's been doing this for a year, she probably will never have respect from him.

 

I dont believe this guy "Can pull any girl" as you said, because this case sounds too sad.

 

I dont think theres anything you can do.

This is what will probably happen: He'll tell her that he loves her, She'll say I dont see you like that, He'll apologize and then she'll avoid him like the plague, he'll come around and she'll say "Leave me alone forever"

[Shepp]

Well i cant be a hypocrite and say "no" cause its not dissimilar to the situation i was in....and hey - im counting down the days to our wedding!!

[Gloria25]

How are you afraid to fall into the same trap as your jock friend bloke?

 

I mean, if I am correct the girl you went no contact with WOULD reciprocate if you contacted her - which is not the case with your jock friend bloke.

 

Your jock friend bloke has been friend zoned...and, if he really, really could have any chick he wants and is settling on chasing this one maybe it's the thrill of the chase/conquest that is motivating him. Or, maybe she is hotter than him, so he's finally met his match?

[Tik]

Very understandable guys. But I keep seeing them hanging out together all the time? Guess I can just hope for the best for him.

 

Yes Gloria, the thing about me is that I got the 'I like you, but not in that way' - essentially LJBF. I decided then and there that I'd walk away instead of latching on. Looks like it had an effect on her as a friend said she's been throwing herself at everything non romantic related and being so focused. I know if I were to message her I'd get an instant reply. When I do bump into her, say hi or if we end up working together she is super receptive but otherwise, I know where I stand. And that is in no way a romantic interest of hers. Until she initiates or changes, my focus is on elsewhere.