Alphadude Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 (edited) I knew this girl 6 years ago when she was an intern at my company for a while. We only reconnected 2 years ago when she returned for a visit. I'm intrigued by her because she seems to be very intelligent (she could answer most questions most of my interns could not) yet seemingly introverted too. I've managed to ask her out for dinner a few times over the last 2 years on the pretext of work matters, and realised she's actually shockingly similar to my ex (intelligent, kind-hearted, goal-oriented) whom I'm very good friends with now (she's married btw). Now, I've kinda tried hinting to her I'm interested in her (teasing her, asking if she has a boyfriend, what kind of guy she likes) but her reaction is always this calm expression answering my questions. When I asked if she wants a boyfriend, her answer was "Maybe, maybe not, depends on who I meet". We have been splitting bills at dinner because she offered to, and when we parted she would always smile and start walking to her car while I literally had to pull her back and kiss her cheek before letting her go (she doesn't resist). I didn't message her in between dinners because I'm unsure about her calm, cool behaviour but she did text me saying she enjoyed our dinner. During our last dinner one month ago, when I asked what kind of guy she is actually looking for, she said someone smart, preferably smarter than her so "he could teach her stuff" and someone ambitious / career minded. I'm not sure if I'm smarter than her by her standards but I've been teaching her stuff due to my experience, and I must say I am climbing the corporate ladder much quicker than my peers. I mentioned before I just started doing Pilates and is terrible at it, and 2 days after our last dinner she texted me saying we should hang out more because she wants to know me better and requested to join me at my Pilates class. I didn't reply her text for 2 weeks and she texted again asking when I'm going for Pilates. I'm unsure if she's interested in me or just wants to hang out as friends? I didn't reply her cos I can't seem to be able to break her shell every time we met up. Edited August 27, 2014 by Alphadude
Toodaloo Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 Your playing it very cool for a chap that is interested... She wants to come to your pilates class, so please tell me why you have not jumped on the phone and told her when the next one is if you are so interested? 2 weeks after she contacted you within 2 days? Stop making her do all the work here! Give the girl a chance. She is only following your lead. You are playing it cool so she is playing it cool. Pull your finger out and get on with it before you are relegated to a friend only and she moves on believing that you are not interested. Try something like giving her a flower after the class... then you have pushed it but not so far that if she is not interested you can't retract. If you are brave enough you could also try the old "ask her". Takes balls but I suspect in this case you will get an answer if you are honest... Good luck! 1
Author Alphadude Posted August 27, 2014 Author Posted August 27, 2014 She hasn't dated anyone for many years since high school, so I don't know if she went out with me just because she's bored or really interested in who I am. I just don't want to appear like a fool going for Pilates and she acts cool again. I've told her I had to skip 2 classes and her reply was she was busy with work for the next few weekends anyway and asked where the studio is. I thought that might be her brushing me off so I didn't answer her for 2 weeks. Then she texted me again asking when is my next class, yet a few days later I saw on FB she injured herself at work over the weekend. I haven't replied her last 2 texts as her behaviour is just confusing - cool and calm in person, seemingly interested over text.
todreaminblue Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 some women in person are reserved...cool...calm...same as men....... over text message they can seem more affable....a little bit of reserve is a good thing....when you get to know a reserved person better....you see why the reserve is there.......cool and calm...doesnt mean cold....you just have to know them better.....they internalize more than they project their feelings outwards.......deb
Author Alphadude Posted August 28, 2014 Author Posted August 28, 2014 some women in person are reserved...cool...calm...same as men....... over text message they can seem more affable....a little bit of reserve is a good thing....when you get to know a reserved person better....you see why the reserve is there.......cool and calm...doesnt mean cold....you just have to know them better.....they internalize more than they project their feelings outwards.......deb How many dates do you reckon it will take to break down her shell? We've gone out 4 times and each time was a short dinner not more than 1.5 hrs...
Author Alphadude Posted September 2, 2014 Author Posted September 2, 2014 Ok I need some input please... I'm just wondering if she's playing mind games with me. I took a few days to reply her first message on Pilates and told her I do it on weekends but I'll have to skip it for a few weeks due to work. She then replied one day later that she can't make it either until she finishes her weekend work (I already knew she works on weekends) but asked where the studio is anyway... That's when I didn't reply for 2 weeks until she texted me again asking when I'm going for Pilates next. Games?
Assasda Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 I didnt read your post. But this is it. Always assume they're interested
xxmusical Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 Ok I need some input please... I'm just wondering if she's playing mind games with me. I took a few days to reply her first message on Pilates and told her I do it on weekends but I'll have to skip it for a few weeks due to work. She then replied one day later that she can't make it either until she finishes her weekend work (I already knew she works on weekends) but asked where the studio is anyway... That's when I didn't reply for 2 weeks until she texted me again asking when I'm going for Pilates next. Games? How is she playing games? She's actually following up on you, asking you when you're going for pilates. So when are you going to reply her??
Recommended Posts