4 years relation

[Davida]

Hello everyone,

 

I've been lurking around here for some time, but i really need some adive (i know, me and everyone here ...), so I would thank u in advance.

 

I'm a 29 years old women from Spain (Europe), so english is not my native language so please forgive any mistakes. This will be a little long, so please bare with me.

 

Me and my boyfriend (dating 4.5 years now) are doctors and we live a pretty decent life. I think that we are both good looking - tall, brunetes ... We met in University and started dating 4 years after we met. Before that i was on a 6 years relationship that ended on good terms.

Just after we started dating we spent almost the time together (same university, same friends ...) and all was going quite well.

 

My boyfriend had only had a one-year relationship when he was 18 years old. After he ended it he went on a "bad way" with strip clubs and hookers. He was honest with me - and i already knew as mutual friends talked about it - and i really didnt cared about it at the time as i didnt knew if this relationship was going to last.

 

We live 500 meters near of one and another so we mostly live together.

 

We graduated about two years ago and we both decided to stay on this are of the country. Im currently employed and he is going to start a new job on the end of the year.

 

Ive always been a little suspicious (about everything ...) but i have always trusted him and i do think that he cares for me. He has always been on my side and helped me and so have I. I do believe he has never cheated on me.

 

So, whats the problem?

 

He has a - how should i call it - a temperament problem. There's always a problem with our everyday-life - i cannot have any male friends call meas it will always be a discussion and he has to control everything i do - what i eat, ie; and its very hard to talk to him.

 

While i know most of his friends, he refuses to meet any of mines as he starts saying that he dont want to meet them and saying things about them.

 

There are some things that bother me, like when he stays out with friends untill morning and gets home drunk - i do not condem but i would like to be able to speak to him and say that i do not really like that he gets home drunk every weekend. But when i try to do it its a major fight and he stays 3-4 days without talking to me.

 

Im not against going out with friends and i think that is infact healthy but i would like to talk to him and explain that in my idea it not so right to get hammered home in the morning.

 

Usually i go after him (call him or text him) and even so, many times he stays 1 or more days without replying.

 

Plus, he is not affecionate. Well, he has really never been the most affecionate guy (and I can understand that not everyone is the same) but while i see everyone (and miss!) holding hands or little things, he says that those are "useless".

 

Another thing that has been bothering me more recently is that ive asked with how many women he has been (hookers / strippers /escrts) and he refuses to say. He knows everything about my life.

 

On last week we went to spend a days to his parents house (they were on holidays) and everything went pretty well. On the last night he got a little drunk and for somo reason started yelling with me. I tried to talk to him and only got worse reply saying that i didnt deserved him ... Even his brother and wife stood for me and i started crying and went to sleep crying . We got back home last friday and i tried talking to him and the only thing that i heard was that i was stupid and an as*** and he went to his place.

Usually i would go after and has already text or call him, but i really dont know what to do.

 

I know im not perfect, but i think im a normal girl, i work all day, i care for him, help him in everything and in this last year thing are just not working.

 

All my friends says that i should have break up with him years ago, and honestly i dont know ....

 

Should i try to talk to him one more time? Wait? NC?

 

Thank you

[Mrin]

Whoa. Ok your BF is a controlling asshat. Break up now and feel 100% confident you made the right decision. He's totally beaten your self esteme and respect down. Leave now.