mokimoka Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 Hey guys, I appreciate your help and advice. So my ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. We dated for a year and a half. It was a serious relationship, we were both first love of each other. I wouldn't say our relationship was 100% healthy since I was pretty bossy and unreasonable. However, we both made it work and I loved him a lot. Fast forwarding to this summer, my ex and I went to Vietnam on a vacation and to visit my parents there. We both had good times there. Then he went to his mom's place in Vietnam and was supposed to stay there for 2 weeks. A fight broke out because he didn't call or message me (I told him to call or at least message me every day). He said his phone battery was out, and he was tired from all the sight seeings. I blocked him on facebook and didn't return his calls for 3 days. And then out of the blue, he decided to break up with me. I was devastated because we always had this kind of fights. Here is the thing I don't understand. He told me on the first day of break up that keep in mind he still loved me and that he felt like suiciding. He needed space because I was always mad at him. He gave out some mixed signals the next days since one minute he said he wanted to break up, the next thing we were back together, and then the next day he said he wanted to break up again. That happened for 3 times and finally he called me saying he wanted to focus on school and working out for now. If we ended up together again in the future, then we were meant to be together... I was already suspicious him liking someone else at his mom's place because he kept liking this one girl's pictures on facebook (he never did that to any girl beside me). So I asked him to be honest with me, was it because of the 3rd person, and I wouldn't be mad if he admitted it. At least that reason sounded more appropriate than focusing on school. He denied and said she was like a family to him, twice. He blocked me on facebook now since I said I couldn't remain friends with him since it was too painful. Yesterday, my friend told me he sent her drunk texts and I asked to see them. Basically he told her that he was an ******* for falling for someone else within 2 WEEKS?? and that he was planning to break up with me long time ago but he afraid I would be in pain. He told her it was obvious because he never kissed me for like 3 months, which was not true because we did kiss and before the break up, 4 days, he still said I love you and there was no signs of him wanting to break up. We were lovey dovey. Eventhough he is now not official with her yet, but I used another facebook account to check his facebook and saw he posted a picture of a heart with his name and the other girl's. It hurt so bad. Why wouldn't he be straightforward and say it was the 3rd person? Why did he lie? And the fact that we barely broke up for a month, and now he's already seeing someone else while leaving me here rotting in memories. Is my ex in a rebound relationship? Plus, the girl is in Vietnam and he is in America right now so it is a long distance relationship. My friends are quite surprised too since he worked so hard to be with me. He waited for me for 5 months to get over my previous crush. Sometimes I wonder if one year and a half with me mean anything to him. He thanked me for giving him this chance because he changed into a better person ever since he knew me, more open to others. How can someone fall for someone that fast?
54JA Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 I hope you are doing OK. I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. My ex began seeing another girl within a month of our break up, and within a year, he married her. But, the difference between your situation and mine is that, our relationship was terrible. Prior to our final break up, we broke up at least 3 times. We were hanging on by a thread. Before he started going out with his current wife, he asked to get back with me, but at the time, I was in a rebound fling and told him I had a new boyfriend, which of course did not last very long (at all). I got into a rebound because the pain clouded my judgment. I am assuming that my ex rushed into his new relationship because of the similar reason. I am assuming that he chose to be in another relationship immediately after our break up because it is much easier to replace your ex than have to face and deal with your broken heart and loneliness. I am also assuming that it's easy for some people to subconsciously "trick" themselves into thinking that they have feelings for someone else when they don't want to deal with the post-break up loneliness. It's just my theory for how my ex moved onto another relationship so quickly. I'm sorry that I couldn't offer a perspective that is more in line with your situation. Hang in there.
David87 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 Why do you care if she is in a rebound relationship? Who cares, dont look back my friend and dont hope for a reconciliation.
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