elseaacych Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Oh boy, here we go again with the dating concerns. So, I met this guy back in February that I thought was uber-cute. However, he at the time, had a girlfriend. I do not mess around with this sort of thing, so I stick to being friendly with him, but not "friends" in a platonic sense. More of an acquaintance, really. Fast forward a few months, he and I end up in a class together, and we chat as friends, and I notice at this point he's rather flirty and gives me his phone number if I want to hang out, but I can't tell what's going on, as he is still texting and hanging out with the same girl, who I thought was his girlfriend. So I let it be. I don't call. We end up at a party together, and yukking it up, and both drinking (I, not heavily, and had stopped drinking at this point... but not sure about him), and somehow, he ends up pushing me towards the party drunk, asking if I'd met him,(and something about making out, but I don't recall specifically) the drunk wanders off. And he asks me why I am modest about making out. Gave my answer. Confident, and then asked him what his angle was... something something... tells me he got dumped hard by his ex girlfriend, who he is still hanging out with, but it was 5 months ago. He seems a little upset. I venture to say that I would go out with him. He tells me to text him. I tell him I will text him... (So he could call me at his convenience. I don't know! It was late!) Anyway, we part ways. The next day. I do not text him. As I am trying to still figure out what to do. So I decide to text him the next day with a non-chalant: "I had a lovely time chatting with you on Friday". Response, 30 minutes or so later: "Great, looking forward to our date." No response from me. Because I am emotionally retarded and don't know what to do. This date, as far as I know never got planned. Ran into him again today and we chatted, not about this alleged date. I am feeling super-awkward about the whole situation and do not know what to do about it. Mainly because a) What I recall is what I have typed out. b) He may still be puppy-eyed over his ex. c) Something about it all seems really odd, and I don't know who asked who. And whatever the proper etiquette is in a situation like this. d) I don't want to come on too strong, or like an idiot. e) A pity date doesn't seem like my idea of a good time for either of us. Help. 1
mightycpa Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Go out, have a good time, don't drink. You're on a campus somewhere? There must be something to do where you don't drink, and where you can talk. How to set that up? Text him: For our date Tuesday, let's go do X. Are you up for that? On that date, just talk to him like he's a regular person. Ask whatever you want to know about. The ex, the puppy love, his number, whatever you want to know. Make a game of it, ask one, answer one. Why not? Drop that awkwardness ****. Maybe he's dating material, maybe not. This is a super easy way to find out, and if you do something different like I've suggested, you will set yourself apart from all the other girls who want to go eat, or drink or see a movie. He will like you, or he won't. Only one way to find out. See what happens. Assess after; don't come to any conclusions until after the date is over. Make your next plan accordingly. Couldn't be easier. 3
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 (edited) This guy is still pining for his ex, you are just an option....you deserve way better than that. Also I would wonder if it was his ex that responded to your text, then deleted. That would make sense why he never brought it up OR your lack of response put him off. Edited August 25, 2014 by smackie9 2
Zapbasket Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I like what mightycpa says, and agree with it. I also agree that something seems weird, but the way you presented the scenario is hazy, not with your usual articulateness. I know that's because your memory of the interchange is hazy. Even so, he sounds like he could well be non-dating-material. Only one way to find out, but if that interaction is weird like this one was, then next him. 2
preraph Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 The part I didn't like was "pushing me toward the party drunk." That ain't right. Sounds like he might have been recruiting girls or something. I'd be cautious.
Supernatural Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 This title to the thread is very fitting. I would just move on.
thunderheart57 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 You remind me of a funny quote on a British comedy I heard once. The quote was " not only does he like to hang himself, he builds his own gallows". Women are a lot more intuitive than you give yourselves credit for. Your post has so many " red flags " about this person and the funny thing is that you are NOT picking up on them> I guess someone who is Uber cute can cause temporary lapses of judgment. good luck and make sure you Graduate. 1
Author elseaacych Posted August 26, 2014 Author Posted August 26, 2014 Thanks all, LS is like free therapy for me, and it helps to know that other people are picking up on the same thing I am. So, I'm giving this guy a chance, but I am being cautious. I've invited him out to go hit a couple buckets of golf balls at a driving range. (Golf is a mutually shared hobby.) If things go well, great. If not... well.. at least I got to spend some time working on my golf swing.
Gloria25 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 I'm sorry, but I think you should pass on this one... Either he's still hung up on the ex or is playing you... 1
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