Finally faced the truth

[Gauranga]

My ex and I had been together for over a year, and a few days ago agreed that it just wasn't going to work. It was over an old issue, about vegetarianism and children, and we had compromised that they would eat fish but no other meats. We both agreed 3 1/2 months ago that this would work, but deep down we both knew we weren't satisfied. She is really attached to her beliefs and I am to mine, and I realized all the other hang-ups and dissatisfaction were just distractions from this core issue. We have different fundamental values, and part of me just thinks this is so crazy. It really hurts, devastating, knowing that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and can't get past this. I know that even if we compromised on our positions, in the end we wouldn't be as happy than if we take our separate paths and find a better match. I really hope I find that person someday soon. I just really feel lost and hopeless right now.

[mightycpa]

vegetarianism

 

You did the right thing. You can't buy a Filet-O-Fish Happy Meal, and eating a Tofu turkey at Thanksgiving just doesn't cut the mustard.

 

Food is very fundamental to our happiness.

[heyitsmike]

over food beliefs? i mean maybe not knowing the situation as well as you do but i don't think i've ever heard a serious couple break up over a food related issue. you might want to analyze the relationship as a whole to see if there were any signs of other underlying reasons (especially if she was the one to first initiate a break up from this). I've seen from experience women will go through hoops and withhold things from you to avoid confrontation and to make them selves feel better.

[Zeurich]

I understand what you say, I have been through as a kid with my parents on that. My mother had many believes regarding food , and she mostly vegetarian she was not even drinking milk rituals this and that whole scenario what my father holds up for many years. Other than this food problem they did not have any other issues. But honestly I can say it sucks. I visit my parents but I never stay for dinner or lunch. The bitterness I went through as a child is more than enough due to her believes and vegetarian scenario.

[Gauranga]

you might want to analyze the relationship as a whole to see if there were any signs of other underlying reasons (especially if she was the one to first initiate a break up from this).

 

You are right, there were other issues. She has been really stressed about being long distance, and I'm aware we haven't been seeing each other as often. I know she's worried about money, too. I work from home in a family business, and had been going to career counseling. She had hopes that it would inspire me to find a new career in her city, but I came out of counseling with a better understanding of what I want with my current job. When I decided to stay in my current position, her fears were that it was going to take way longer for me to move there (I can work from home, but I have no car after an accident, and I'm buying another at the end of the month.) She had told me she started thinking about everything else in the relationship, and while they could all be fixed in time, she made the point that we couldn't agree on how to raise the children. I really do agree on that, unless one of us changed our position, which I doubt. I really want us both to be happy, but I don't see how right now if we're together.

[bubbaganoosh]

Long time ago, I dated a girl who was on the health kick and the problem was, she went overboard with it.

 

I didn't care if she wanted to eat salads and seeds and I like a salad too but I'm a carnivore and have always been one and if she chose to have leafy veggies for dinner and a piece of dry skinless boneless tasteless chicken breast fine and dandy but DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO EAT and don't criticize me.

 

Finally it came to a head and we went out to dinner. She got her crummy salad and a piece of fish and I ordered a prime rib. A big prime rib.....................rare....................so rare that I told the waitress saw off his horns, wipe his ass and throw it on my plate.

 

I ate it. Every stinking bit of it...................meat.............fat, juice................the plate shined and so did my face with the excess fat and juice from that cow that gave it's all to satisfy my craving.

 

She didn't speak to me on the way home and I told her that if she can't accept me, my choice of food and my diet then eat all the seeds and grass you want and that was it. I made my point so there!

[mightycpa]

I like my steaks the way God cooks 'em:

 

A big prime rib.....................rare....................so rare that I told the waitress saw off his horns, wipe his ass and throw it on my plate.

 

[Gauranga]

I'll go into more detail. I've been a vegetarian my entire life. Due to a lot of reasons and religion is one of them. I didn't try to change her or persuade her to become a vegetarian, and respected her decision to eat whatever she liked. The issue was that while she's not particularly religious, I am in one regard, and it has to do with abstaining from meat. With her and I, it's fine, but with children it will become very complicated, as I would want to raise them with my beliefs and she wants them raised with hers.

[bubbaganoosh]

I'll go into more detail. I've been a vegetarian my entire life. Due to a lot of reasons and religion is one of them. I didn't try to change her or persuade her to become a vegetarian, and respected her decision to eat whatever she liked. The issue was that while she's not particularly religious, I am in one regard, and it has to do with abstaining from meat. With her and I, it's fine, but with children it will become very complicated, as I would want to raise them with my beliefs and she wants them raised with hers.

 

Then my advice to you is to find someone with the same religious beliefs and diet and I'm not being sarcastic. Point is, you wont have to go through any hassle.