Gaeta Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I was just wondering if any of you have experienced something like this. This is my prospect number 2. We had our 2nd date Saturday evening. It was very pleasant, he's interesting and fun and SO normal ! He does or say nothing inappropriate in person BUT on text OMG! He is so hard to follow and he says the weirdest things that could be interpreted in all kinds of ways!! So I am wondering long term if his true self is the normal one or the weird one. What's your experience?
Neith Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I've had quite a few experiences with this. Not just within the dating world, but with friends too. Not so much with people saying weird things like yours though. I know quite a few people who come across as REALLY rude/blunt/abrupt in texts, but when you're with them in person, they're the absolute antithesis of what they're like in texts. Generally, I just overlook it & accept that some people simply aren't big texters and focus on how they are with me in person & the vibes they give off. I'd give it more time...though it depends just HOW weird the things they're saying are... 1
ja123 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I'd say his "weirdness" is his true self, so to speak. People have many different layers and masks, so he is not necessarily being dishonest when he is with you in person. Think of him as a frosted flake. Do you like both sides?
GemmaUK Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 How is he wierd via texts? Examples? I can be short and sharp as in 'train late will be there will be there 10.30am. x' I don't put terribly much into texts unless I have to and there is no other way to communicate at that time and communication is needed. 2
GorillaTheater Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I can't see how anyone could possibly think that texts, of all things, are a better reflection of a person than real life interaction. 12
preraph Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 In person is always more valid than texts. You have the benefit of body language and they don't have time to scam an answer on you. Please realize that for some people, texting is torture. For others, it's the only way they want to spend time.
Author Gaeta Posted August 25, 2014 Author Posted August 25, 2014 Here is an example: He sends me a text out of the blue: Him: In the mood for love ? (we never had conversation like this) Me: What? are you offering me sex? Him: Do you want me to be offering sex? Me: Answer my question. Him: Maybe you interpreted my question like this because that's what you want deep down. Me: Call me Him: I can't now I am putting my little one to sleep. That went through a whole debate of what I am looking for versus what he is looking for and he ended it with NO he was not offering sex, he's not like that, we hardly know each other. I was banging my head on the wall by the end.
Author Gaeta Posted August 25, 2014 Author Posted August 25, 2014 I can't see how anyone could possibly think that texts, of all things, are a better reflection of a person than real life interaction. Some people are more at ease on text to show their little kinky side than face to face.
GorillaTheater Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Here is an example: He sends me a text out of the blue: Him: In the mood for love ? (we never had conversation like this) Me: What? are you offering me sex? Him: Do you want me to be offering sex? Me: Answer my question. Him: Maybe you interpreted my question like this because that's what you want deep down. Me: Call me Him: I can't now I am putting my little one to sleep. That went through a whole debate of what I am looking for versus what he is looking for and he ended it with NO he was not offering sex, he's not like that, we hardly know each other. I was banging my head on the wall by the end. Like I was saying, texting is a suck-ass mode of communication. You notice that not a whole lot communicating took place, right? 2
Potz4prez Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I use emoticons more than most girls... and it frustrates me that they don't. THEY'RE SO USEFUL >< Here is an example: He sends me a text out of the blue: Him: In the mood for love ? (we never had conversation like this) Me: What? are you offering me sex? Him: Do you want me to be offering sex? Me: Answer my question. Him: Maybe you interpreted my question like this because that's what you want deep down. Me: Call me Him: I can't now I am putting my little one to sleep. That went through a whole debate of what I am looking for versus what he is looking for and he ended it with NO he was not offering sex, he's not like that, we hardly know each other. I was banging my head on the wall by the end. Hahahaha... I like this guy. Sounds like this isn't a case of disliking texting, but him letting his weird side out via text. The way he thinks may come off as "interesting" in person, but just doesn't translate well to text. I know I'm the same way. You can get away with a lot more when you follow up with a smile
Fondue Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 He was testing the "waters" with you. I think. Your standoffish (and in my opinion, correct) replies put him in his place and he knows where he stands. He told you he wasn't "looking" yet be absolutely was. Once you rejected him, he wanted to back peddle and not look like a creep who suggest sex in a very awkward manner OVER TEXT message. ----- BUt in general, texting shouldn't be considered when assessing a person's character/personality. It's just not a great way to communicate. It doesn't offer anything "real." I disagree strongly with anyone who suggests texting is an outward display of who a person is. 2
TheGuard13 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Look at the content, not the actual words. Some people are lousy writers, and don't understand things like tone.
GemmaUK Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I'm in my forties and I love sex...but not with someone I have just met. I wouldn't have replied to his first message there. It was clear what he meant by it. 1
rester Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 He was testing the "waters" with you. I think. Your standoffish (and in my opinion, correct) replies put him in his place and he knows where he stands. He told you he wasn't "looking" yet be absolutely was. Once you rejected him, he wanted to back peddle and not look like a creep who suggest sex in a very awkward manner OVER TEXT message. ----- BUt in general, texting shouldn't be considered when assessing a person's character/personality. It's just not a great way to communicate. It doesn't offer anything "real." I disagree strongly with anyone who suggests texting is an outward display of who a person is. I agree with this. He was being flirty but you didn't respond in kind. He backpeddled because he doesn't want you to think he's only into you for sex, everything got awkward, etc. If you had flirted back, maybe it wouldn't have gotten so awkward. My girlfriend and I have had so many ridiculous disagreements over text that if we are going to have a conversation, it must be in person or on the phone. No text conversations or arguments or any of that. I won't engage anything like that. I'll make a point to call and discuss whatever has come up, when I have the time. Texting just causes way too many problems. You're writing a thread about it, so hopefully you understand.
Author Gaeta Posted August 25, 2014 Author Posted August 25, 2014 Another time I was making a joke and he asked why I was giving him attitude. He's hard to follow on text. When I saw him Saturday I told him he was really hard to understand over text he said he did not know why I thought so....... So if he was testing the water and after being turned down with his offer, I imagine he is still interested cause we had our date after that and he was very nice in real. He kissed me too at the end of the date and it was a pretty conservative kiss, not too long.
FitChick Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I was just wondering if any of you have experienced something like this. This is my prospect number 2. We had our 2nd date Saturday evening. It was very pleasant, he's interesting and fun and SO normal ! He does or say nothing inappropriate in person BUT on text OMG! He is so hard to follow and he says the weirdest things that could be interpreted in all kinds of ways!! So I am wondering long term if his true self is the normal one or the weird one. What's your experience? I've had the opposite experience. The old Cyrano de Bergerac routine although he wrote his own stuff. If you want to have a virtual relationship, date a good texter. If you want a real relationship, date a man with whom you enjoy doing things. I'm beginning to think you are looking for perfection. You will be disappointed.
ja123 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I can't see how anyone could possibly think that texts, of all things, are a better reflection of a person than real life interaction. Yes and no. If you think of the texts as offering a guise of anonymity or security where one can take risks one wouldn't IRL, then you could see that he might behave or betray thoughts he wouldn't otherwise (especially if he's shy). Of course, it could be argued that one could hide better with texts/emails, as one could take the time to meticulously review them before sending. In this case, I'll go with the former answer.
preraph Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 You can't even really tell if someone's literate just texting. I'd want to know that right away, personally.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I was just wondering if any of you have experienced something like this. This is my prospect number 2. We had our 2nd date Saturday evening. It was very pleasant, he's interesting and fun and SO normal ! He does or say nothing inappropriate in person BUT on text OMG! He is so hard to follow and he says the weirdest things that could be interpreted in all kinds of ways!! So I am wondering long term if his true self is the normal one or the weird one. What's your experience? Some guys just suck at texting. lol If he's normal in person that's all that should matter since you should be developing your relationship in person and not through text.
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 I didn't see anything wrong or weird with his text. He said in the mood for love?, not lets make love. Love in this context meant romance not sex. He thought your response to it was you joking about wanting sex. He had no idea you were getting offended by it. It's a simple misunderstanding on your part. 1
EngnimaticResponse Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 (edited) My texts probably come off the same way. I personally don't like texting anyway and try to avoid it for anything more then coveying info. Running late, be there in a bit., Can you pick up some ____ on your way here?, etc. I agree with smackie9. His question was of the romanic aspect not the sexual, and he pointed out it was Your brain that took it there. My response probably would have been "Sex, sex, sex. Is that all you women think about?" "I want romance damnit." Edited August 26, 2014 by EngnimaticResponse
Author Gaeta Posted August 26, 2014 Author Posted August 26, 2014 When I got that text to me it meant are you in the mood for sex. Before jumping the gun I asked a male friend, and he said it means are you in the mood for sex. The guys on here seems to also think it was are you in the mood for sex.
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 When I got that text to me it meant are you in the mood for sex. Before jumping the gun I asked a male friend, and he said it means are you in the mood for sex. The guys on here seems to also think it was are you in the mood for sex. Hah why don't you just ask him what he meant by it.
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