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Is there a way to tune out co-workers talk about marriages/weddings?

Lipitor11

By Lipitor11
in General Relationship Discussion

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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As usual, at work, I have to constant conversations about husbands, weddings, marriages. It gets to me sometimes being a single women. What do married women get jealous of? FWB, traveling, danceclubs, I know sometimes I envy married women.

cerridwen Established Member

cerridwen

Posted
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I suppose some things married women might envy include:

 

Not having to compromise

Being able to come and go as she pleases

The variety and novelty of new sexual partners

Independence which includes taking advantage of sudden travel opportunities

Easier dissolution of a romantic relationship should it come to that

Less structure and routine, which could be interpreted as dull and/or a rut

 

But, Im glad you recognize theres a bit of grass-is-greener thinking that actually cuts both ways.

Marriage is hard work; weddings are over in the blink of an eye; being single can get lonely.

No situation is perfect.

Having a gratitude practice can help with the envy.

Maybe look into starting one?

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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I suppose some things married women might envy include:

 

Not having to compromise

Being able to come and go as she pleases

The variety and novelty of new sexual partners

Independence which includes taking advantage of sudden travel opportunities

Easier dissolution of a romantic relationship should it come to that

Less structure and routine, which could be interpreted as dull and/or a rut

 

But, Im glad you recognize theres a bit of grass-is-greener thinking that actually cuts both ways.

Marriage is hard work; weddings are over in the blink of an eye; being single can get lonely.

No situation is perfect.

Having a gratitude practice can help with the envy.

Maybe look into starting one?

 

You mean look into starting a relationship? The only thing I have is a FWB. I want it all, but I guess one can never be satisfied.

mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

Who says you have to have constant conversations? Avoid them.

 

I need to make a phone call

I have to go run a couple errands

I have a meeting

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CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted
As usual, at work, I have to constant conversations about husbands, weddings, marriages.

You can become the ultimate employee and tell folks, "Sorry, this is work - no time for the personal stuff!"

 

Be cheery about it and throw yourself back into that which you were hired for: WORK.

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Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

Just let them talk about it and don't concern yourself.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
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You mean look into starting a relationship? The only thing I have is a FWB. I want it all, but I guess one can never be satisfied.

 

One can never be satisfied if they are settling for a life that isn't satisfying.

 

If having a FWB doesn't make you happy, kick him to the curb and look for someone who wants the same thing you want. Or at least look for it WHILE with your FWB.

 

Certainly don't give someone all of you, when he doesn't want it. That's a waste.

mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted
You can become the ultimate employee and tell folks, "Sorry, this is work - no time for the personal stuff!"

 

Be cheery about it and throw yourself back into that which you were hired for: WORK.

 

I never find myself in conversations at work that I don't choose to have......EVER.....I've been working around the same people for 7 years.

 

It's real simple OP.

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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Who says you have to have constant conversations? Avoid them.

 

I need to make a phone call

I have to go run a couple errands

I have a meeting

 

Yeah, but it's kind of hard! I sit in halfway cube with a bunch of married women, then one of the leads, got married over the weekend, so her friend is going around showing wedding pictures to all. I really could are less, they are a tight group of people, that leaves me the odd one out. Ugh! Puke wedding pictures.

Got it Established Member

Got it

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You will get farther in your job focusing on work. I get it but aren't there others who are participating in idle chit chat?

 

That is something I hated about small companies and when I was in lower level positions. All that waste of time. Ugh. Try and steer the conversation back onto work and go from there.

 

You have my sympathies.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted (edited)

I do sympathize, but it's not because I'm jealous. Last year a coworker did nothing but talk about a wedding that was still nine months down the line. I kept thinking it was next week because of all the talk, but it was months away. She's already had his kid, so not sure how the wedding could be made into such a big deal. Anyway, it was every day. Then I noticed it stopped and they didn't even end up getting married. No talk about that, mind you.

 

Even more, I wish I could tune out the kid/baby talk. Lord. No one cares or wants to listen to that but the mother and maybe -- maybe the grandmother. And now with smartphones, I have to listen to their raspy little electronic voices while I'm trying to work too. It's something unique to this generation. Everyone used to know no one really cared except themselves. Now anyone with kids friends with each other, but when you listen to them, they're not even listening to each other. They're pretending to listen while they think of what they can say about their own kid as soon as the first one takes a breath.

Edited by preraph
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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted
Yeah, but it's kind of hard! I sit in halfway cube with a bunch of married women, then one of the leads, got married over the weekend, so her friend is going around showing wedding pictures to all. I really could are less, they are a tight group of people, that leaves me the odd one out. Ugh! Puke wedding pictures.

Blech, I suppose that's one of the positives of working around mostly men.

 

Don't get me wrong, I definitely enjoy my girl time and occasional gossip (I know - sue me :eek:) but as an introvert, I avoid group lunches and sitting in the cafeteria.

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
As usual, at work, I have to constant conversations about husbands, weddings, marriages. It gets to me sometimes being a single women. What do married women get jealous of? FWB, traveling, danceclubs, I know sometimes I envy married women.

 

I don't. I put music on as soon as they start talking marriage and all that nonsense.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted

Even more, I wish I could tune out the kid/baby talk. Lord. No one cares or wants to listen to that but the mother and maybe -- maybe the grandmother. And now with smartphones, I have to listen to their raspy little electronic voices while I'm trying to work too. It's something unique to this generation. Everyone used to know no one really cared except themselves. Now anyone with kids friends with each other, but when you listen to them, they're not even listening to each other. They're pretending to listen while they think of what they can say about their own kid as soon as the first one takes a breath.

 

hahaha I hear you. There is one woman here who runs around with her iphone showing the sounds her grand daughter makes. I mean seriously, who cares?

 

I used to have to suffer a girl who would stand in front of my desk talking weddings and god knows what, she lives with this really controlling guy who tells her what to wear to work and god knows what. I put music on a couple of times as soon as she started talking, now she doesn't. End of

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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Yeah, what's worse is when someone brings a sonogram to show around. Also a lot of then bring their kids for show and tell. Next time someone does that, I'm going to hide in the bathroom for 30 minutes.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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Posted
Yeah, what's worse is when someone brings a sonogram to show around. Also a lot of then bring their kids for show and tell. Next time someone does that, I'm going to hide in the bathroom for 30 minutes.

 

Seriously!?! Y'all have show and tell? Maybe you should bring in a old stuffed teddy bear. :laugh:

 

Seriously, maybe find another company. That sounds unproductive, painful and dreadfully dull environment. :sick:

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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Seriously!?! Y'all have show and tell? Maybe you should bring in a old stuffed teddy bear. :laugh:

 

Seriously, maybe find another company. That sounds unproductive, painful and dreadfully dull environment. :sick:

 

And you are sooo right!!! Dull environment hits the spot.

Anela Established Member

Anela

Posted
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You mean look into starting a relationship? The only thing I have is a FWB. I want it all, but I guess one can never be satisfied.

 

A gratitude practice.

 

I know a man who started listing three-to-five things that he was grateful for, daily. He only did it as an exercise, at first, but he recently said that he's realized that he's a lot happier for it.

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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A gratitude practice.

 

I know a man who started listing three-to-five things that he was grateful for, daily. He only did it as an exercise, at first, but he recently said that he's realized that he's a lot happier for it.

 

True. I do need to be more grateful about the things that I do have.

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Lipitor11 Established Member

Lipitor11

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So, today my manager's husband bought her young son into work today and they were walking through every aisle for show and tell, so I manage to sneak into the break room for 15-20 minutes. Heck, everyone else is being unproductive for 15 minutes while they are baby watching, so why can't I be unproductive, right??? Good Lord! I'm not obligated to go ohhh and ahhh when I see someone bring a baby in!

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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Reeeeeeoooowwr! (Cat howl)

 

It doesn't kill you to be nice.

 

I listen to people talk about movies they watched or video games they play and don't give two sh*ts about any of it. Or any other topic you could imagine.

 

Sue people for being happy already. Most people would rather hear about happy family life than some cheap relationship anyway, believe it or not.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
Yeah, what's worse is when someone brings a sonogram to show around. Also a lot of then bring their kids for show and tell. Next time someone does that, I'm going to hide in the bathroom for 30 minutes.

 

I just carry on with work. Have no interest in people's kids. Absolutely zero and find baby photos and stories dull.

 

I'll listen when someone mentions a movie they watched but if they start going on about the story line or anything else, I switch off. It's like as if I started jabbering away about a book they never read, why would I do that?

 

I guess I'm annoyed that people assume you should care about their c**p. Why? There is one woman here that goes on about how much she walks each day and how much weight she lost. Who cares?

lovingone Member

lovingone

Posted
Posted
As usual, at work, I have to constant conversations about husbands, weddings, marriages. It gets to me sometimes being a single women. What do married women get jealous of? FWB, traveling, danceclubs, I know sometimes I envy married women.

 

Once you are married that line is drawn between those with good marriages and those with bad marriages. And occasionally married women might want to make single women (who still have options) feel bad because their marriages aren't so great and some just talk about marriage all the time because that is literally all they have (some kind of marriage, even if it's bad).

 

I've never been married and I just turned 40. I decided to have a birthday party and have some fun. Interestingly enough, as I was laughing and having a good time with my best friend at the party I caught my cousin gawking at me like she was disgusted...

 

This cousin is 12 years older than me and about a decade ago she was rushing to marry some guy, I don't think she even knew that well, so she would be married before she turned 41.

 

She is now 52 with 3 children under the age of 10, one of them is Autistic, and her husband just seems so uninvolved in family life. He wouldn't travel to our aunts house for Thanksgiving so my cousins nanny gave up her Thanksgiving to fly down with her and her kids to help out.

 

So the grass isn't always greener on the other side and just be concerned about finding who's right for you and not how many of your peers are married :D

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