Can't get you outta my head

[Cjr1981]

Well.. I dated this girl for 5 months. Not that long I know, it moved fast. We spent a lot of time together. Could go out for drinks just us two, have an amazing night and end up on the dance floor, just great times.

 

She is a fun girl, our personalities meshed. She was so smitten with me, I've never had another girl look at me like she did. Amazing girl.

 

I messed it up one drunken night with some terrible text messages after I got some information I would of rather not heard. Has to do with how many ppl she slept with / works with my buddy who she wanted in the past. I know it should not of bothered me, but it did and I lost it one night, said some hurtful things.

 

For the next two months, she took me back, broke up, slept with me, stopped sleeping with me, called me , texted me, stopped, called me drunk, text me drunk, cut me off. It was hell, until one night I just got drunk as F again and let her know how I felt. It wasn't nice.

 

After that I haven't seen / heard her voice. She's made it clear that she's done. She use to have intense feelings, but not anymore. I get it. I messed up. Red flags.

 

My issues letting go :

- chemistry was amazing

- sex was out of this world

- happiest I've been in my life

- never been more attracted to anyone

- she's super fun

 

Now trying to let go has been very hard, I dated a girl for 5 years and didn't have close to the amount of feelings I have with this one.

 

The sex was so great, I can't get it out of my head.

I can convince myself to move on, then boom, can't even look sexually at a girl or be aroused without old sex memories of her taking over.

(Not all about sex as I've been to 3 weddings since BU and I missed her company then).

 

I would marry this girl. But, I messed up. She even brought up marriage and kids and my thoughts. Thought I had her.

 

 

So how do I get the sex part out of my head?

I don't meet / open up very easy so I think a rebound might not help me.

 

Another thing she works in a bar restaurant with my closest buddy. Deep down I feel like he would never, but the fact that she wanted him before makes me think after a little while away from me she will hit on him. It would be unthinkable, but life's unpredictable and it's hard to say no to a beauty especially when your working behind a small bar all night bumping into each other. Those thoughts kill me, as I would lose a close friend as we'll. if I ever found out.

Edited August 25, 2014 by Cjr1981
Typos, addition.

[Reels]

5 months or 5 years?

[Cjr1981]

5 months... The ex was 5 years

[Reels]

5 months... The ex was 5 years

Then you will never forget, but after a few years you wouldn't be thinking as much.