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shut down...and it hurts


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Posted

oh man do you know how bad it hurts to be shut the f*ck down? i met this girl a few weeks ago and we hung out a couple of times. i really like her and i didn't want to f*ck it up so i was trying to not freak her out and go slow. i was pretty sure she was at least kinda interested in me or why else would of she hung out with me so much? i was trying to set up something for tonight and we had planned to go see a dollar movie (gotta love those cheapos ;) ) well anyways when i called her i suggested that we might meet up a bit earlier so we could talk and such and suggested a bite to eat...and she was like "is this some kind of date"...me going into the fetal position defending myself said no and she was like ok...now i don't know what to do...obviously she doesn't like me and that hurts so FREAKING bad you have no idea...its like my heart was ripped out of my chest, pounded into a billion little bleeding pieces. im not gonna bail out cuz i do like her but i dunno...i know you guys will probably say "forget about her, go find someone else" but i don't want to! what would you guys suggest i do?

 

 

-hurt

Posted

Whoa little buddy relaaaax.

 

Was she kidding when she asked that? Was she asking because she wanted it to be a date but didnt know how to ask so asked it that way to get your reaction? I mean you can't base everything on that litle comment.

 

I say freak it, go out with her to the movies, have fun be yourself and you never know. Maybe its better that she thinks it's not a date because you wont have so much pressure.

Posted

Can I make a suggestion?

 

Before the end of the date........try to kiss her. THAT will be your answer. - and make it a dry kiss......make sure not to try and put your tongue in her mouth or she could have you for sexual assault :p

 

good luck

 

bubbles

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Posted
Originally posted by Bubbles

Can I make a suggestion?

 

Before the end of the date........try to kiss her. THAT will be your answer. - and make it a dry kiss......make sure not to try and put your tongue in her mouth or she could have you for sexual assault :p

 

good luck

 

bubbles

 

 

how bout i just ask her...im kinda shy

Posted
Originally posted by Xerxes1986

how bout i just ask her...im kinda shy

 

You can, but I think attempting a kiss would be a better barometer of things. Have you ever kissed anyone on a first date before? It is kind of nerve-wracking, but life is short, so go for it!

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Posted
Originally posted by iceisles

 

 

You can, but I think attempting a kiss would be a better barometer of things. Have you ever kissed anyone on a first date before? It is kind of nerve-wracking, but life is short, so go for it!

 

 

well it really isn't a "first date" i mean we have hung out b4

 

 

IM CONFUSED

Posted

Go for it man! :) If you don't try......you'll never know right?

 

C'mon........I'm giving you this advice as a girl. Try!

Sounds like she is interested.....she was playing a little "word game" with you. Female psychology......I don't know.

 

bubbles

  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by Bubbles

Go for it man! :) If you don't try......you'll never know right?

 

C'mon........I'm giving you this advice as a girl. Try!

Sounds like she is interested.....she was playing a little "word game" with you. Female psychology......I don't know.

 

bubbles

 

 

how do i even know if she is interested in me that way?

Posted

OMG whoa wait dont go for the kiss.....its too soon you dont even know if she likes you, and some girls dont even kiss on the first date even if they like you.

 

I say go on the date have a good time, if you feel at the end of the night she had a good time then ask her where you guys stand and if you can go out again.

Posted
Originally posted by Xerxes1986

how do i even know if she is interested in me that way?

 

On the date, look for body language. Does she look deep into your eyes? Does she gently touch your shoulder, or hold your hand? Does she hint about you two seeing each other more? There are always clues on every date. Just relax, be yourself, and be alert to these signs.

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Posted
Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd

OMG whoa wait dont go for the kiss.....its too soon you dont even know if she likes you, and some girls dont even kiss on the first date even if they like you.

 

I say go on the date have a good time, if you feel at the end of the night she had a good time then ask her where you guys stand and if you can go out again.

 

 

im gonna f*ck this up...i have this gut feeling she doesn't like me like me....omg i am so freaking nervous and scared and weirded out

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Posted

and plus when she said "is this a date" it didn't sound like she was teasing...it sounded like she was serious.....every girl i have ever been remotely interested in doesn't like me back so why should she be any different....my life is worthless :(

Posted
Originally posted by Xerxes1986

and plus when she said "is this a date" it didn't sound like she was teasing...it sounded like she was serious.....every girl i have ever been remotely interested in doesn't like me back so why should she be any different....my life is worthless :(

 

Cheer up - you just haven't found the right one yet. With dating, there are tons more defeats than victories. Just stay strong and hang in there. I would still hang out with this girl to see what the story is. Just come out and ask her afterwards how she feels.

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Posted
Originally posted by iceisles

 

 

Cheer up - you just haven't found the right one yet. With dating, there are tons more defeats than victories. Just stay strong and hang in there. I would still hang out with this girl to see what the story is. Just come out and ask her afterwards how she feels.

 

 

i coulda sworn she was the right one...great looks, great personalitye...i mean we really clicked

Posted

when you have gone out before how was it? And how did this movie date come about? Did you ask her hey want to go to the movies or did she ask you or whats the deal?

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Posted
Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd

when you have gone out before how was it? And how did this movie date come about? Did you ask her hey want to go to the movies or did she ask you or whats the deal?

 

 

i was like "hey you wanna hang out tues...maybe go see a movie and get something to eat or something"

Posted

and im guessing she said yeah...so she might be inetersted that way or not...you would have to wait until you go out and try not to be so nervous. Just go out and treat her nice, and see what happens..

 

If she feels a little iffy about it being a date then go out as friends and make her see how cool you are and then after that date she might see you differently. But go without any expectations but to have a good time and to show her a good time.

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Posted
Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd

and im guessing she said yeah...so she might be inetersted that way or not...you would have to wait until you go out and try not to be so nervous. Just go out and treat her nice, and see what happens..

 

If she feels a little iffy about it being a date then go out as friends and make her see how cool you are and then after that date she might see you differently. But go without any expectations but to have a good time and to show her a good time.

 

 

gah i hate females! i hate this whole "mating ritual" we call dating....! lol i hate everything right now...time to listen to depressing music

Posted

OK, take a deep breath.......and.......exhale.

 

Now, relax.

 

 

yes you goofed when you said no to her question but all is not lost.

 

 

Don't be intimidated when a girl ask you a question. For future reference, if a girl ask you that question just say "Of course it is. Just don't try anything funny on our first date. ." See, joke and play with her.

 

 

Now to your current problem.

 

Just call her back and say "Hey, now that you mentioned it, tonight will be a date. Let's be fair. I will pay for the $2 movie tonight and you can pay for the meal. Deal? Oh and if your lucky, I will let you whole my hand." Say this in a playful voice.

 

Joke with her and tease her like she was your little sister (if you have one).

 

If she says no I don't want to date you then say OK.

 

Rejection and accpeptance is all part of the dating game.

 

Good luck!

  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by Bronzepen

OK, take a deep breath.......and.......exhale.

 

Now, relax.

 

 

yes you goofed when you said no to her question but all is not lost.

 

 

Don't be intimidated when a girl ask you a question. For future reference, if a girl ask you that question just say "Of course it is. Just don't try anything funny on our first date. ." See, joke and play with her.

 

 

Now to your current problem.

 

Just call her back and say "Hey, now that you mentioned it, tonight will be a date. Let's be fair. I will pay for the $2 movie tonight and you can pay for the meal. Deal? Oh and if your lucky, I will let you whole my hand." Say this in a playful voice.

 

Joke with her and tease her like she was your little sister (if you have one).

 

If she says no I don't want to date you then say OK.

 

Rejection and accpeptance is all part of the dating game.

 

Good luck!

 

 

you have no idea how much it would take for me to do that....omg i would die...my heart is beating so fast...and im not supposed to pick her up till 8...its 2 here...time is going by so SLOW TOO!

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Posted

omg my stomach is doing turns here....i think im gonna cancel on her...i don't know what else to do...i don't want to make a complete ASS out of myself in front of her if she isn't interested...i need to scream...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted

Breathe breathe breathe...your only nervous becasue you really really like her.

 

In life you cannot be afraid. I bet you'll go and have a great time and when its all done your going to say damn I was so nervoud for no reason.

 

But don't cancel on her thats the worse.

 

I hate when I have a date and then I get all ready and prepared and they cancel.

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Posted
Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd

Breathe breathe breathe...your only nervous becasue you really really like her.

 

In life you cannot be afraid. I bet you'll go and have a great time and when its all done your going to say damn I was so nervoud for no reason.

 

But don't cancel on her thats the worse.

 

I hate when I have a date and then I get all ready and prepared and they cancel.

 

 

she probably hates me....you had to hear her when she asked me....it was in her voice...maybe im paranoid...i don' tknow....i wish i wish i would just die lol

Posted

no dont die lol....your probably so nervous you thought you heard that in her voice..lol If she hated you she wouldnt of said yes to the movies lol

 

Think back on that conversation besides that "comment" what else did she say?

  • Author
Posted
Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd

no dont die lol....your probably so nervous you thought you heard that in her voice..lol If she hated you she wouldnt of said yes to the movies lol

 

Think back on that conversation besides that "comment" what else did she say?

 

 

well it basically went like this if you wanna know:

 

me: hey whats up?

her: nothing....

me: you sound tired did you just wake up?

her: ya, i just got up just hwne you called

me: oh yeah? why are you so tired?

her: i was helping cody move last night

me: really...howd that go?

her: alright i guess

me: cool...well the reason i called is to see what you wanted to do tonight

her: well what did you want to do?

me: well there are a couple of dollar movies that are on...have you seen assault on precinct 13 yet?

her: no, whatys it about

me: its basically an action movie...its on at 9:50...is taht too late

her: oh no...actually i needed to wait until my mom gets home so that i can get some money from her

me: oh its just a dollar movie i'll pay for you

her: yeah i still need gas money though

me: do you want me to pick you up and we can go together?

her: i dunno...sure

me: i was thinking maybe i could come over a little early so we can hang out and maybe get something to eat

her: paul, is this a date?

me(being nervous): umm...not really

her: ok

me: well then i'll probably come over around 8 or 9 then

her: ok just call me when your on your way

me: ok...well ill let you get some sleep

her(laughing): haha ok talk to you later

 

and that was basically it....OMG your right i am really nervous because i really do like her and i am so afraid of rejection

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