My ex is now in a relationship, and I'm struggling to deal with that...

[ChloeChloe]

My divorce was finalized July 21, 2004. It was mutual. This past weekend I had to see my ex-husband to sign a couple of property documents. I hadn't seen him since October and I was very nervous about how I would feel. In the course of the conversation I asked him if he wanted to come over. NOT sure exactly what for but I have an idea. He responded that he couldn't, he is seeing someone.

 

I am having a REALLY hard time dealing with this!! I have started dating around and I knew he had too, but the fact that he is in a RELATIONSHIP is like a knife in the heart. I'm experiencing feelings that I have experienced since we were going through the divorce process. I am so jealous, resentful, betrayed, and hurt. Perhaps all these feelings are crazy, but they are so real and I feel on the verge of tears all the time. It's not fair that he is already in a place to accept another person in his life, when I find it hard to imagine that I am completely ready for that.

 

How have others dealt with these types of feelings when they find out their ex has really moved on?

[debs]

The emotions will hit you hard for a while!

 

It isn't an easy pill to swallow knowing they did move on but time helps as well as letting go of the anger and bitterness!

 

Mine left almost a year to date and he has married the girl just last month!

 

Does it hurt, sure it ouches!

 

She will never replace me in profession, maturity or life in general!

 

Only time will tell if has has made a mistake again, as he called me in the end! No I won't be around for him to fall back on he burned that bridge to the water front!

 

I do not go back, I go forward when I have exhausted any chances of reconsillations!!!!

 

Best to avoid all contact with him so as you can get on with your life!

You have just hit another bump in the broke up phase and just jump over it or you will be buried under it forever!

 

We can never survive with the what if's or had I done this! Bury it and let it go!

[ready2moveon26]

I just wanted to say, be thankful you don't have children with this man. I am in the same situation right now, but I have a child with the man that I've loved for the last 6 years of my life. He has dated before and was somewhat serious with another girl (she moved herself in with him) but I kinda knew that relationship wouldn't last and it didn't. He has met a girl in the last few months and has the start of a serious relationship with her. We have been seperated for almost a year and are going through a bankruptsy before we go ahead with the dissolution. We WILL be getting the dissolution now, before I wasn't so sure it would ever happen. It is SO hard seeing him happy with someone that is a good person. I wish you luck. I have dated also but nothing serious because I am not lowering my standards. I figure, if I'm getting a divorce, I am going to trade up rather than fall back or start a relationship with someone who is on the same level as my ex. All I can say is, it's hard, but be thankful you don't have children with him...it makes it even worse with your 4 year old daughter telling you all about Daddy's new "friend. "

[mental_traveller]

Originally posted by ChloeChloe

My divorce was finalized July 21, 2004. It was mutual. This past weekend I had to see my ex-husband to sign a couple of property documents. I hadn't seen him since October and I was very nervous about how I would feel. In the course of the conversation I asked him if he wanted to come over. NOT sure exactly what for but I have an idea. He responded that he couldn't, he is seeing someone.

 

I am having a REALLY hard time dealing with this!! I have started dating around and I knew he had too, but the fact that he is in a RELATIONSHIP is like a knife in the heart. I'm experiencing feelings that I have experienced since we were going through the divorce process. I am so jealous, resentful, betrayed, and hurt. Perhaps all these feelings are crazy, but they are so real and I feel on the verge of tears all the time. It's not fair that he is already in a place to accept another person in his life, when I find it hard to imagine that I am completely ready for that.

 

How have others dealt with these types of feelings when they find out their ex has really moved on?

 

What confuses me is you say you feel "betrayed and hurt". I can understand being jealous and resentful. But how have you been betrayed? What promises has he broken? And how has he hurt you?