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My boyfriend would give up on our relationship easily.Now I'm thinking of Breaking Up

marycc

By marycc
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marycc Member

marycc

Posted
Posted

We were talking about 2 friends that are/were in a relationship and decided to take a break, and I think that's not the way to solve any problem that might be happening.

So, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I ever told him that I wanted to take a break, and his answer was a surprise. He said: "If you thought it was the best thing to do, I would be ok with it, even if it's not what I want." Like I took all the responsability for it, he wouldn't even fight for us, he would easily agree to spend some time without talking to me... I'm feeling so hurt, it feels like our relationship isn't that important to him.

He also contradicted himself, he said: "I wouldn't say no because the relationship involves two people , so they both have to make a decision, not only one of them". But he would agree with me even if it was not what he wanted to do.....

Now I'm actually thinking of breaking up because it doesn't seem to bother him, and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't mind stop talking to me and wouldn't fight for us.

Do you think I'm overreacting or should I do it?

Priv Established Member

Priv

Posted
Posted

I think your boyfriend is lightyears ahead of you. He is right.

 

 

Stop the gameplaying and stop the weird questions to your BF.

  • Like 13
Smilecharmer Established Member

Smilecharmer

Posted
Posted
I think your boyfriend is lightyears ahead of you. He is right.

 

 

Stop the gameplaying and stop the weird questions to your BF.

 

Agree with Priv. Relationships aren't about him feeding your ego. You want someone who doesn't respect your opinions or your choices then date someone immature and insecure unlike your bf. Be careful with your insecurity and need for gameplaying or you will lose him.

  • Like 1
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

Posted
Posted
We were talking about 2 friends that are/were in a relationship and decided to take a break, and I think that's not the way to solve any problem that might be happening.

So, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I ever told him that I wanted to take a break, and his answer was a surprise. He said: "If you thought it was the best thing to do, I would be ok with it, even if it's not what I want." Like I took all the responsability for it, he wouldn't even fight for us, he would easily agree to spend some time without talking to me... I'm feeling so hurt, it feels like our relationship isn't that important to him.

He also contradicted himself, he said: "I wouldn't say no because the relationship involves two people , so they both have to make a decision, not only one of them". But he would agree with me even if it was not what he wanted to do.....

Now I'm actually thinking of breaking up because it doesn't seem to bother him, and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't mind stop talking to me and wouldn't fight for us.

Do you think I'm overreacting or should I do it?

 

So if you told him you didn't want to be with him anymore you expect him to grovel at your feet begging for you to change your mind? Here he is actually respecting your decision, but that is not good enough for you. Why do people play such games?

  • Like 3
OwMyEyeball Established Member

OwMyEyeball

Posted
Posted

Meanwhile in a parallel universe:

 

My girlfriend and I were discussing a hypothetical situation wherein she suggested we take a 'break' from our relationship. I told her that though I wouldn't want to, I'd be game for it if she thought it was the best way to save the relationship. After all, I would never openly threaten the relationship in such a way without first having given it some very serious consideration. So why would she? I feel very secure in our relationship.

 

Anyhow, a short while after I gave my response she told me that she was seriously thinking about breaking up with me. I was completely floored. We talked about it for a bit, but she backed off from the idea.

 

Now I'm feeling very insecure about the entire relationship. How could someone who claimed to love me first allude to, then openly move towards, ending our relationship?

 

Am I overreacting? Or should I break up with her for wanting to break up with me after hypothesizing over her taking a break? Should I do it over breakfast?

  • Like 4
Mrin Established Member

Mrin

Posted
Posted

Do him a favor and end it right now. The best thing that can happen to him is to be away from you if you're going to act like that. /sarcasm.

 

That was an unbelievably unfair and idiotic question to ask him. Honestly, he answered it correctly. Christ. What did you want? Your ego fed? You're being an attention vampire.

  • Like 2
DazedandConfused8 Established Member

DazedandConfused8

Posted
Posted
We were talking about 2 friends that are/were in a relationship and decided to take a break, and I think that's not the way to solve any problem that might be happening.

So, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I ever told him that I wanted to take a break, and his answer was a surprise. He said: "If you thought it was the best thing to do, I would be ok with it, even if it's not what I want." Like I took all the responsability for it, he wouldn't even fight for us, he would easily agree to spend some time without talking to me... I'm feeling so hurt, it feels like our relationship isn't that important to him.

He also contradicted himself, he said: "I wouldn't say no because the relationship involves two people , so they both have to make a decision, not only one of them". But he would agree with me even if it was not what he wanted to do.....

Now I'm actually thinking of breaking up because it doesn't seem to bother him, and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't mind stop talking to me and wouldn't fight for us.

Do you think I'm overreacting or should I do it?

 

:rolleyes: You trapped him in an unanswerable question and were then surprised by the answer you got.

 

*Hypothetically* you said you'd just unilaterally decide to take a break. He said he'd go along with it, most likely because it was your unilateral decision and he'd rather let you ride it out than start a fight with you. Now you're upset he's agreed he would ride it out.

 

... What's the problem?

  • Like 4
DazedandConfused8 Established Member

DazedandConfused8

Posted
Posted
He's a guy. Of course he's not going to care as much as you.

Learn this nowwwww and don't be shocked.

 

 

Girls always care more about everything.

 

This is completely, stereotypically false. Men care the same amount, they just have different ways of showing it.

Supernatural Established Member

Supernatural

Posted
Posted
He's a guy. Of course he's not going to care as much as you.

Learn this nowwwww and don't be shocked.

 

 

Girls always care more about everything.

 

 

...Someone got burned...

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

Posted
Posted
He's a guy. Of course he's not going to care as much as you.

Learn this nowwwww and don't be shocked.

 

 

Girls always care more about everything.

 

Right... that's why I'm the one that wanted my last relationship with my ex fiancé to work, but she decided to "not feel the same way about me" anymore. Pretty sure I cared more in that case.

  • Like 1
Supernatural Established Member

Supernatural

Posted
Posted
Meanwhile in a parallel universe:

 

My girlfriend and I were discussing a hypothetical situation wherein she suggested we take a 'break' from our relationship. I told her that though I wouldn't want to, I'd be game for it if she thought it was the best way to save the relationship. After all, I would never openly threaten the relationship in such a way without first having given it some very serious consideration. So why would she? I feel very secure in our relationship.

 

Anyhow, a short while after I gave my response she told me that she was seriously thinking about breaking up with me. I was completely floored. We talked about it for a bit, but she backed off from the idea.

 

Now I'm feeling very insecure about the entire relationship. How could someone who claimed to love me first allude to, then openly move towards, ending our relationship?

 

Am I overreacting? Or should I break up with her for wanting to break up with me after hypothesizing over her taking a break? Should I do it over breakfast?

 

 

"Babe...Can you pass me the cheerios? Oh and when you're done with that, can you pack your sandwich maker, iron and dish gloves? We're motherfunking done son!"

Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

Posted
Posted

Do you think I'm overreacting or should I do it?

 

I think you should do it. You've got a whole lot of maturing to do, and it's very unfair of you to spend the next few years putting your boyfriend through the mangler because he's so far ahead of you that you don't understand his decisions.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

I love my wife dearly and I would be sad for a while if she left me but I refuse to beg a woman to love me. I have too much self respect for that and it rarely ever works. If a woman didn't want to be with me anymore then oh well. Life goes on and I will be fine eventually.

  • Like 1
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