Giggle Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 My husband was even my first kiss. I was awfully reserved. He was afraid of offending my innocent sensibilities. I didn't orgasm the entire time which was hard on his fragile ego. And I was curious because of things I'd heard. He ended up finding somebody more entertaining. I tell my girls they aren't allowed to marry the first person they kiss or sleep with. Baaaad news. 1
Giggle Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I wouldn't say they are happiest because they are promiscuous and outgoing, it's more that they know who they are and ok with it. I've /become/ more outgoing as a result of being more secure in myself. 1
2.50 a gallon Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Total bull. From my experience a man in todays world who marries a virgin is a fool as somewhere down the road, about the time the kids are school age, mom will get curious as to what she has missed, and start banging another guy, which in most cases leads to her falling out of love and the man ends up paying CS for a decade or more.
serial muse Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 The link below provides some research to support what a lot of us already knew: Women who don't sleep around before their wedding have happier marriages - but men can play the field without worry, study finds | Mail Online Not only does female chastity lead to happier marriages; it also reduces illegitimacy (40% of children born in the U.S. are now illegitimate) and gives children a higher likelihood of success in life. From the article: The study tracked the relationships of a representative national sample in America of 1,294 unmarried men and women aged 18-34. The researchers followed the subjects for five years. In that time, 418 were married. Only 23 per cent of those who got married during the survey had sex solely with the person they married. So is what we're saying that a "happier" marriage is one in which men can sleep around but won't tolerate their wives doing it? And that's why it's OK for men to "play the field" beforehand too? Interesting definition of happy. I guess it might be, for a certain type of guy. 2
Taramere Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Total bull. From my experience a man in todays world who marries a virgin is a fool as somewhere down the road, about the time the kids are school age, mom will get curious as to what she has missed, and start banging another guy, which in most cases leads to her falling out of love and the man ends up paying CS for a decade or more. Plus in all seriousness, how many people are going to be virgins when they marry in this day and age? Of course, you hear about people who are part of some religious cult, or who have been paid money to remain chaste...but they're not exactly the norm. I'm guessing that this article isn't about actual virgins so much as women who haven't had that many sexual partners. If the reality is that a woman like that marries a man who sleeps around and is going to cheat on her, it's just going to be a mess. Yet that seems to be the set up this article proposes. Exercise of this double standard as a great basis for a relationship. Of course, it's the Daily Mail...which is always fond of holding itself out as an authority on what's needed for a happy, functional life. Here's a much better idea for how to increase personal happiness. Don't read the Daily Mail. 2
sweetjasmine Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Determining a causative link between these factors in ~1000 people in 1 country while not controlling for other confounding factors... a statistician's nightmare. I don't even know where to start with that. Well, not even 1000. Of the participants, only 418 got married within the 5 year time span. And since all participants were unmarried at the time it started, the longest marriage they could have possibly looked at must have been just under 5 years. The other thing is that of those who married, only 23% had had sex with their spouse only. That's about 96 "chaste" marrieds out of 418 marrieds or 1,294 total participants. I believe the proper statistical term for this is lol. 7
hotpotato Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 If women are chaste, who are horny dudes gonna sleep with? 1
Taramere Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 If women are chaste, who are horny dudes gonna sleep with? Judging from what went on in Victorian London....prostitutes, children and apparently chaste women who are great liars. Those halcyon days the Daily Mail would have people return to. 1
dragon_fly_7 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 (edited) The link below provides some research to support what a lot of us already knew: Women who don't sleep around before their wedding have happier marriages - but men can play the field without worry, study finds | Mail Online Not only does female chastity lead to happier marriages; it also reduces illegitimacy (40% of children born in the U.S. are now illegitimate) and gives children a higher likelihood of success in life.Then some guys online complain about how there shouldn't be any double standards at all but yet at the same time publish this bs of how it's ok for only women to be pure and decent but men can sleep around all they want to. I'm a low count woman but men with that mentality are the very same ones I'm avoiding. I don't want a man that sleeps around either. How about that? Interesting how they have it ''sleeps around'' for a woman but for a man, it's downplayed to ''playing the fields''. Edited August 25, 2014 by dragon_fly_7 2
dragon_fly_7 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Sure, nothing wrong with that. How chaste, nice, traditional, and family-minded are you, though? Most traditional women I know (in the sense of having low numbers, that is) are with traditional men. And trust me, being a traditional man comes with a LOT more responsibility than just having sex with your hot, chaste wife.Very good point. What I'm realizing is some of these men that keep on forcing their Christianity agenda on everyone's throat and keep demanding an chaste, traditional wife don't practice those same standards on themselves. Being chaste and traditional are genderless traits. As an atheist who doesn't want kids but never slept around either, I find it very offensive that only believers are seen as moral beings according to everything the OP wrote and how everyone should fit that exact lifestyle. The OP makes it sound that everyone that isn't into that category is corrupted. 1
central Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 LLVV - Lousy Lovers Value Virgins! If your partner has no basis for comparison, you may be able to get away with being a poor and/or selfish lover. Ignorance may lead to accepting this as normal, and the delusion of sexual adequacy. Extending the premise of the article, it then becomes "normal" for more promiscuous men to cheat in order to be happy with their sex life, because the chaste women they marry may not be comfortable with more "adventurous" sex beyond basic missionary in the dark. Anyway, this seems like just one more uninformed attack on female sexuality. 2
MoreCoffee Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 I recognize the research that states, "People are actually happier when they have less choices," but overall, this is not a situation where ignorance leads to bliss.
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